I'm unsure as to whether I committed an act of... - OCD Support

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I'm unsure as to whether I committed an act of sexual harrasment, yet its impossible to find the person to double-check.

Odd_Peak_8442 profile image
2 Replies

Hi, guys.

I'm a 23 year-old man with Asperger's Syndrome, and one of the themes of my pure-'O' over the last two years has been a fear of becoming a sexist or doing something sexist.

For the first time ever last summer, I sent a flirty/provocative text to a woman via the 'Ask' feature on Tumblr, while non-anonymous. I remember her blog specifically saying that she was open to receiving these types of messages, yet my brain is trying to convince me that this is false, and obviously because it's been so long now, I can't remember what her blog is called and have felt a compulsive need to find her, and but can't.

I want to die, because I don't want to live with the shame and guilt associated with having potentially sexually harassed somebody, but I'm so very certain that she was soliciting these messages, as well as answering similar messages from men on her blog and being receptive to them.

Please, help me.

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2 Replies
Sallyskins profile image

This is typical of OCD. It makes you doubt, and the more you want reassurance the more you doubt.

If it were possible to locate this woman, and to reassure yourself that you are not guilty of sexual harassment, it wouldn't be enough for your OCD.

The more you check and try to make certain that you did not sexually harass this woman, the more doubt you will feel. It just leads to repeated checking and more doubt.

It's best to leave this incident where it belongs - in the past. It appears that you are a decent and conscientious man and would not harass anyone.

I think it best if you keep away from things like Tumblr, particularly as in a previous post you said that you think you are not interested in sex.

Don't feel it necessary to be on these dating apps. Just because your friends are on them, doesn't mean that you have to be. Things like Tumblr can lead to all sorts of confusions and complications, particularly if you're not good at reading social signals.

I don't think for a minute that you're sexist. It's just OCD. It makes us doubt. It's like having a voice in your head, whispering that you're bad people, that you've done bad things, when in trust you haven't. Ignore that voice in your head! It tells lies.

Get some treatment for your OCD, or get a self help book. Learn about CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and how it can help you. And continue to post on this forum if you want support.

Odd_Peak_8442 profile image
Odd_Peak_8442 in reply to Sallyskins

Thank you so much for your help, I really appreciate it.

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