This sexual thoughts about my family are bad like I’m scared I’m going rape them
I think you should be work with meditation,erp,cbt treatment
Are you doing therapy? This is OCD and you won't rape them but I understand it is hard to believe from your side. Check out Nathan Peterson on youtube he covers many OCDs.
Remember that thoughts are nothing but thoughts, they don't exist they are not happening and they have no impact. The only things that matters is your actions (the real one not the one you fear you might do because those are thoughts).
Intrusive thoughts are hell and they mess up with your self-esteem and identity because then you think you are a bad person. But it is based on nothing real just your thoughts. Also the irony of intrusive thoughts is that the more you try not to think about it the more you will and the more scared you'll feel. It is a loop because it reinforces the thoughts and your feeling of being a bad person.
Accept the thoughts even if they create discomfort and don't stop to question them. Do something else try to describe things around you when they pop up and remember they are not you but just fearful intrusive thoughts. They have no power over you actions.
Not I haven’t told anyone about these thoughts
Do you think it is feasible for you to see a therapist? You would benefit from it immensely.
I’m to scared to
Yes I understand, it is terrifying, especially because of the nature of your thoughts. It seems like the therapist would never understand but they do. It's absolutely normal to be scared but you need to take the risk and be brave. Nothing bad will happen you'll see.
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