I’ve struggled with ocd all my life but I was barely diagnosed with it in 2017. I had a major breakdown and began to have intrusive homicidal thoughts. I developed insomnia because of it and ended up being hospitalized. I’ve been hospitalized three time since then and continue to struggle with harm ocd. I’ve been in therapy (cbt/erp) for over a year and haven’t gotten much relief. I was also on Luvox for 4 months ( didn’t work) and Clomipramine for 9 months and it helped with the panic/anxiety physical symptoms but not the thoughts. I was also on a couple of antipsychotic’s which failed to work as well. I’m currently tapering off Clomipramine and feel the same. My psychiatrist wants me to try Magnetic therapy. I feel so exhausted and have become depressed because of all this. Every day I think I’m going to kill my husband or my dog. I love them both very much and don’t want to harm them. It just feels very real and my mind tells me I won’t feel better until I do it. It’s been over a year and I’m starting to think I’ll be like this forever. I just want to enjoy life again with my family.
Texas gal struggling for over a year with harm... - OCD Support
OCD Support
Texas gal struggling for over a year with harm ocd.
The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.
My heart goes out to you as I have been in the same boat as you many times over the years.
I am no way cured but CBT has helped me accept that they are only thoughts and I would never ever act on them.
They trouble us so much because we could never harm our loved ones.
Please feel free to message me whenever you need an ear ❤️
hi cogi im peekeneese so we should get on well,i like you have had this terrible ocd for years.it makes you do things you don't want to do,and hurt people you don't want to hurt
I know I keep saying that but its true.all my family,my friends.my naubours,and me.have been hurt by ocd. it take no prisoners,my ocd is well documated on this site.so you can allways check.but its you im concerned right now.my medication is sertraline 100 mg
you have to work your way up,with sertraline that's the only setback 50 ng is rough the
side affects ar not to good but you have to go throu them to get the big reward=its 100mg
the diferent being few side affects,you feel carmer,can live a near normal life,as near as possible as a person with ocd can theirs no cure,any way my corgi.that works for me o
don't know your medcation,but sertraline 100mg is for ocd.im being taken for my walk now and have my lead in my mouth ready.wuff-wuff.
Thanks a bunch peekanese! I’ll talk to my psychiatrist about sertraline. I’m starting to think I need to go back on meds.
Of course you are not going to harm your husband or your dog. It is just the OCD telling you that you might do it, but people with OCD just don't act on these intrusive thoughts. That's one of the things about OCD. It gets at us by targeting the very things that matter most to us, in your case your husband and your dog.
I took clomipramine for many years and it suited me well, though it did make me feel dopey, and I was switched to sertraline some years ago, which for me is better. On the whole people don't have bad side effects with sertraline. I take a low dose of an antipsychotic called aripiprazole which boosts the effects of the sertraline.
I have heard of magnetic therapy and think it might well be worth giving it a go. I know how exhausting OCD can be, and how it tries to take away our ability to do normal everyday things.
Remember that you are no danger to your husband and dog, or anybody else. It's horrible having these thoughts, but everybody has weird thoughts and most people ignore them. It's only having OCD that makes us attach importance to them, and then they torment us.
Hi Corgi86. I'm sorry you are going through this. It hits home for me. My intrusive thoughts have changed throughout the years. Just terrible. I'm learning to accept them but it's hard. Distraction does helps, self help books have helped as well. Recovery for me has been long and hasnt been easy. But we all recover in time and on our own time. I do believe recovery is possible!!! I have to!!
I have read your other responses. Your a teacher!! That's amazing!! I have a bachelor's degree in teaching. Never actually followed through with it because the fear OCD causes and the intrusive thoughts has made me terrified to even try. It can be very exhausting to say the least.
I dont take any medication or have therapy. Although I probably should, and I'm not against it in any way. I have heard that the combination of both is very helpful.
Lately I've been on the forum alot more then usual. I haven't been feeling well myself. I was doing well for awhile and then BOOM these thoughts hit me again!! Just trying to do my every day tasks and keep living, even when these thoughts want to break me down!!!
I truly hope you get some relief soon!
Take Care
I understand what you're going through. I suffered from harm OCD for years and it disabled my life. I stopped leaving my apt, stopped going to work etc. I did exposure response prevention and it was so hard but it helped a lot. I also went on sertraline and it helped me .
The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.
Not what you're looking for?
You may also like...
Harm ocd
Ocd is taking over my life!
am I struggling with OCD?
All my harm OCD peeps.
Suffering with depression, anxiety and Harm OCD
Help OCD is taking over my life 
Please help, mentally dying. False memory OCD.
Light at the end of the tunnel! 
OCD and loss of too much weight, very anxious and depressed
From bad...to worse! :S