recently i started my antidepressants just over 3 weeks ago along with my CBT therapy. however today things have took a turn for the worst and i feel back to square one. i don’t know what to do or who to turn to. i rang the doctors up and they say i’m doing everything i can, mindfulness, breathing techniques, medication, therapy etc. it’s just not a quick fix which i understand. they don’t want to up my medication just yet as there’s still time for it to work/kick in a little better.
i feel so anxious and sad and overwhelmed. about uni and my relationship and just everything has got ontop of me like it did in the beginning. i feel like i’m back in the hole i started in. i don’t know how to feel or what to feel. has anyone else tried any other therapy? how would i get access to this therapy?
would it be worth trying private therapy? i’m desperate and struggling and it’s taking a toll on everyone around me and i feel so guilty. my family and friends have expressed how much they’re here for me and i understand and appreciate that but when it’s affecting them aswell i don’t want to be a burden and worry them or bother them with my issues. i just want this feeling to go away, i’m so so sick and tired of not being able to eat or sleep or socialise with anyone. i’m too anxious and worried to do anything. i don’t feel like myself and my pain has flared up from the stress. i just want it to end, i really cannot cope anymore.
sorry for the really depressing post i’m just desperately trying to find some relief and i’m hoping someone out there might be able to give me advice. thankyou
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Hello Olivia I am sorry your feeling so desperate. Maybe the antidepressants are making you feel worse . Do you have to take them with CBT therapy. The doctors at the moment seem to be on another planet at the moment. So
Many people are not satisfied.
Are you going for some long walks and fresh air. I have to do this to survive my complaint . I do hope you can find something to give you relief .
No one knows how another one suffers . My Nanny used to say .
they manage to calm me down a little but recently it’s just got a little too much for me. i’m going to give them a few more weeks, and if nothing improves i will ask to try some others.
walking really does help, i went for a little one this morning. thankyou for your advice and kind words x
Hey Olivia, did you get through to your GP or was it a receptionist you spoke to? I dont feel that's a good enough response to say your doing all you can 🤔 did you tell them how desperate you are? I never wanted to try CBT therapy as I I felt it wouldn't work for me. The tablets will take a while to kick in but even so the ones your on may not agree with you and you might need to change them.
I had been told about trying journaling recently, id put off trying it for a month. Then one night last week I felt low, I sat in bed crying and started to write down how I felt. I actually felt it did work for me, I got all my feelings down on paper and woke up the next day feeling a little better.
They say the best therapy is talking, do you have any friends or anyone you know that have been through a similar experience you can reach out to? I had an old friend message me last week out of the blue, we went for a local social distanced walk, it felt so good to get out and talk to someone who knows how I feel.
If you need anything message me, always happy to try and help ❤
thankyou for your response and lovely words. yes it was a doctor i’d spoke to. i wasn’t sure whether she was only saying it to make me feel better or what... i feel like there is more that can be done for me but i’m at the point where i’m too exhausted to push for anymore.
i’m going to give my tablets another few weeks and if i still feel the same then it’s definitely time to change or try something new. i have recently bought a journal also, i’ve only been writing in it since yesterday but hopefully it helps as i go through the weeks.
my mum has been my rock and i always talk to her. however today i saw she was upset as she felt helpless and didn’t know what to do for me. it upset me even more that i was making my family sad. i know that’s what family is for but i couldn’t help feel guilty for putting them through what i’m going though as well. i will definitely drop you a message. thankyou 💜
I know what you mean, but honestly your mum would much rather you speak to her than suffer in silence. I feel you've been let down by your GP , I know they are under a lot of pressure right now but your asking for help. I read another reply to you with a great support line, id definitely ring that, it might be good to talk to someone who doesn't know you, you might feel relief for getting things off your chest.
Keep going with the journal, it might do you good and you might find reading back, you see if you have any triggers for those low days .
I don't know about you, but I find I'm at my lowest when I'm in pain with RA, I feel frustrated asking for help. I take it out on everyone around me as I feel they don't understand. But really when that friend reached out last week it made me realise she might not have the same disease as me but she was a good listener and I felt so much better.
Is there anyone at uni that can help? Do you have helplines you can call?
My employers have a helpline & I did end up getting 6 private counselling sessions over the phone last year.
thats what i keep reminding myself and so does she. it’s what shes there for, despite her being frustrated that she can’t help take my feelings away, she’d rather me talk rather than bottle it up.
my uni has some well-being and counsellors that i’ve looked into sometimes, however they’re not always available. i keep trying just incase. they’ve extended my deadlines and know my situation which is helpful too.
hello, i’m still not sleeping great and waking up around 6am. tried asking the doc for some sleeping pills but i cant have any due to them affecting my antidepressants. not experiencing as many panic attacks but the anxiety is still there. i didn’t have a good therapy session on sunday either so a little down in the dumps still xx
Oh no, sorry to hear your not feeling much better this week. Maybe the gp wants to see if your tablets help before adding in a sleeping tablet. Im pretty sure there are some that are safe on antidepressants, I'm sure I was on one a few years ago and they did knock me out.
Was you not in a good frame of mind when you did the therapy session? Or you felt like it wasn't very affective? X
thankyou for checking up on me and yes i think that’s what they are wanting to make sure of. i’ve only been on them for a month. and a little bit of both i think. my therapy is online like a web chat sort of thing. it’s kind of hard to interpret things through messages x
Oh I see, yes I would find that difficult too. Do they not do one to ones over the phone? I'd maybe give them feedback about it. I found telephone calls much better, and I looked forward to them each week as I got to get stuff off my chest x
Olivia - you are not a burden. You are loved by your friends and family ❤️ We are all here for you too 😘
I recommend getting in touch with under-25s Mental Health charity The Mix. They have phone lines and chat services where you can talk to someone who really gets it - and can help you feel more positive. Their details:
I definitely agree with the advice on contacting your GP again. You said above you want it all to end - your doctor needs to be taking this very seriously. They can also give you the numbers of 24 hour NHS helplines. And those meds definitely need a review in case they are making things worse.
You might also find it useful to complete an anxiety workbook. This can help us to recognise negative thinking patterns and address them. Here’s a free one you can download as a PDF:
Finally, please know that things will be better than they feel now. I’ve been in very dark places before. I had an eating disorder for a decade and was put on Prozac when I was just 12. Uni was also a nightmare for me - and I wanted things to end so many times. Today, I’m 39 and I run my own business. I am proud of what I’ve achieved and how I overcame adversity - and all those dark times actually helped me become a better person.
You can do this. But don’t do it alone. Lean on your support system. Seek professional help. You’ve got this 👍 xx
thankyou i really appreciate it. i was looking for chat services as the samaritans didn’t really help me much and i didn’t know where else to look.
i’ve never acted on my thoughts and i hope i never do, they’re just scary and real right now. i have let the doctors know and they have asked me to call them whenever i feel like i need to.
i know they’re probably swarmed with lots of other issues but it just got to the point where i didn’t know what to do anymore. my parents don’t know what to do for me and neither do my friends. i don’t even know what i want myself!! thats why i was thinking of the private therapy. i know it’s expensive but i’m that desperate to feel better i don’t mind paying.
i’m so glad you managed to overcome your challenges and difficulties i hope one day i can look back and do the same. thankyou for reaching out and giving me some great advice i really appreciate and needed it xxx
There are a variety of different therapists and some charge £40 an hour (others about £180 😬). The good thing about that site is you can see when they’re next available - which might be today in some cases - and you can see feedback from other people.
thankyou that’s great. and exactly, the main issue for me is how long i have to wait for my cbt therapy. (3 weeks between each session) i know they must be busy because it’s free etc but i’m struggling at the moment and would probably benefit from speaking to someone asap xx
Your post is so sad and I'm sorry you feel this way. Have you tried walking? A good walk can help and fresh air will clear your head. Do you know anyone who has a dog you could borrow and what about a hobby? Being young and in pain is not good but it does take time for the medications to work. So don't give up if anything get angry and tell yourself that life is not over, you will find a way through and Spring is coming.Don't dwell on what you can't change and concentrate on the positives. I don't think thats glib but looking inwards all the time will make you feel worse, instead get out wrapped up warm and look at the flowers and birds. I've always found that being outside really does help my mood and I hope it will work for you. I'd just add that you could try yoga as well as any form of activity which increases endorphins always helps me. xx
yes, i do try and go on a daily walk with my mum. we usually sit on a bench to take in our surroundings. however recently ive not really been out much because of the lack of motivation etc. i keep pushing myself and hopefully itll pay off. thankyou for your lovely advice xx
I think the very fact you are talking and reaching out shows strength olivia. Lots of good and hopefully helpful suggestions from others already, again music is good and especially ones which evoke happier times or memories. Perhaps an opportunity to have a sift through records, cds or more like download (hey I'm a fossil so please excuse my lack of technology knowledge here) and compile your very own set of music that may help distract and make you feel good or uplifted. Again as others have said being outside does help and wondered if you like photography as I found taking pictures of my surroundings while being out helped me. Nothing demanding but just small simple steps each day, don't over think, or push yourself too hard but stay in the moment. It sounds like you have a caring family and friends too. Sending some of my warm wishes to you, love Pip xx
I just thought it may give you motivation and a purpose to go on your walk if you have something to do and might extend into being creative with those photos you take. xx
Hello Olivia 💗 I think you’re really great being so proactive and trying to change things. You are stronger than you think. I feel that. Walking and being outside (my garden is my mindfullness, growing veggies and flowers and I’m an artist so get lost in all of that, but I’ve never done it for therapy tbh.) the right thing to do as rabbits said and also as Mermaid said, journaling is a very good idea as then some problems have been moved partially from head/mind to the paper. Some great advice from our friends on here. 💗 I liked Fearne Cotton’s journal and she’s no expert as she often says, but she’s very experienced as she’s suffered depression. I used hers to look at myself and how I let others use me so much at a time I needed to look after myself. It asked a lot of excellent questions .. not heavy and was light hearted.
Your ex is still recent and will take time to heal and you’ve deadlines for Uni. Those are major things for anyone to deal with without a health condition. Glad you’ve got Uni assignment extensions though. It’s hard enough studying, but being unable to be see friends or fellow students is difficult and not normal in student life, so hope that can get back towards some normality soon. Do ask Uni for student support .. email them as oppose to just phone or phone then follow up with an email as it’s in type/writing then. I’m sure others will be asking who have lesser problems, so why not you? Hugs to you and I would ask student support to refer you on to someone who can talk with you. Maybe a student group where you can talk about problems if you feel you want to share that, but you may want it to be a one to one. Hard too you can’t sit in a room with anyone to discuss at the mo although there is Zoom.
You are clearly an intelligent and lovely person and we all want you to feel better and as others have said we are here for a chat anytime. Did you ask the advice of NRAS on their helpline as they may be able to connect you with a young persons’ group? I say yes to doing your photography again when you’re out for a stroll. You could make some lovely digital collections or print them off and frame some for your bedroom or make an album/book. Even have a dabble with some photo-collage. Don’t need to be an artist as such to do that. We can all be creative. 💗Hugs. xx
thankyou for your suggestions and advice. i feel like because i’ve had a chat and expressed myself to my ex i’ve resurfaced some of the feelings i’d been suppressing. i’m glad i’ve got my emotions off my chest but it’s all still very raw!!
i had been doing better than previous days but after my chat i think my anxiety has just been heightened again and it really sucks. i will definitely try my photography and maybe i’ll start baking again. just little things to keep my mind occupied xx
So sorry to hear that things are still difficult for you but well done for continuing to reach out.I just thought that I'd mention a book which helped me when I was struggling with anxiety - "Making Friends with Anxiety: A warm, supportive little book to ease worry and panic". I bought the Kindle edition and wrote some of the helpful thoughts in a little notebook which I carried around with me and read if I felt anxiety approaching...
Hiya, I agree with all the others and great websites but I think to be honest you want to run before you can walk, you know me I'll ne honest! You've only been on your meds a couple of weeks and just like RA meds they can take a couple of months!😍So in the meantime I do think check out those websites and make an effort to talk to the uni support team.
I talked to my friend your age last year who was devastated about a break up, I said does he make you feel special or put you on a pedestal , the answer was no, she ditched him, 12 month on shes with a wonderful guy who idolised her and cant believe what she put up with and how bad he made her feel.
And give the meds the chance to do their work. A little bit of patience just now for a much much better future, it WILL happen. Keep reminding yourself of that xx
i had a long chat with him with my mum on tuesday night. he said he wanted to support me and be there for me which was nice. i think the chat has just heightened my anxiety a little bit, i was suppressing my emotions and they all came out to him when we had a chat. i’m glad i spoke to him and he could see how badly i’d been suffering, but it also isn’t a quick fix.
my mum said to him that i need someone to care for me and support me and it sounds as if he’s more than happy to do that. it’s just all new to me and i’ve been in such a bad place that it’s hard for me to think rationally. my therapists have said to keep him as support for the time being and not make any rash decisions as i don’t really know how to feel about anything at the moment.
thankyou for your advice, sometimes it just gets to a point where i feel so down and anxious that i want a magic wand to take it all away. i know it’s only been just under a month so i have to keep reminding myself that there is time, and if they don’t work there’s always something else i can try xx
Well that's good hes supportive, but you dont want support or him to feel he has to help as you are poorly, you should both be there for love otherwise it doesnt work. I'm glad you can see it's just going to take a bit of time, no rush. Just take time to get strong xx
yes, he says he loves me and cares for me which i appreciated, i just feel a little overwhelmed with my emotions right now so trying to take it slow xx
That's good , so now you need to reassure yourself! So you're on the meds which will take time; you sort out uni stuff and chat to support team for next term , takes time ;you talk to helplines, takes time ; you recover and rest ; takes time. 😆Give yourself a break , try look in a mirror and talk to yourself, try see the bits you like and focus on them , 5 mins a day . Keep your journal up.
I know you will get through this but you will need (and seem to be great at ) accessing help. So get through this term and hopefully when things open up and theres less scary stuff in the world your treatments will be working and it will feel much much better. Here for you xxx
Hi Olivia, I'm sorry to hear of your challenges and as a university teacher, your experiences underline how tough this year is for students on so many fronts. I have no therapy qualification but as you recognise yourself, there's no magic wand but that small actions might help. So 'wandlets' like baking and walks can combine to get you through a tough phase. One other wandlet might also be some coursework. I obviously don't know your subject(s) but some immersion could give you some rewarding results. Try not to see your course as a challenge but as an experience in which you'll get out benefits related to how much you put in. I'm sad that you are missing out on your full student experience (it's not much fun for us either) so try to use your course to help you and do keep your academic tutor in the picture. Best wishes for better days - we're all here for you.
thankyou very much, i study criminology which i enjoy, it’s just hard sometimes to get the motivation to do work when i’m feeling anxious and depressed. i’m glad i’ve let my tutors know and they are aware. i also feel at ease knowing i have extensions if need be.
hopefully september will be a better start to the academic year for both students and teachers
Yes, motivation can be elusive when you're not on form so keep looking for it in the big picture that is our lives - it's there somewhere ! And a better year to come.
Morning OliviaI hope you have a better day today. I had private counselling some years back and I found it really helpful. It was just talking therapy. It was good to talk to someone who made no judgements and who didn't have an emotional connection to me. One of the most powerful things she said to me was "it's ok to feel sad". I could acknowledge the sadness, work through it and then let it go. Before then, I was just burying it and it hurt.
So, sending you a hug this morning.
A really lovely book to read is The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Macksey. It's not a therapy book but when you read it, it's like a hug in a book.
thank you how did you access private counselling/who did you use? i think i may be able to benefit from another talking therapy etc. i’ll definitely check out the book. thankyou very much xx
Just reaching out with a big hug Olivia. These feeling will pass, I promise. It can be hard when you see it stretching out ahead of you. Try to break it down a little bit and think of 'now' and what you can do in the next hour.
Simple steps. Bake a cake, go for a walk. Take some photos. Maybe try those adult colouring books, they are great for losing yourself for a short while.
Before you know it, those hours build up and you've got through another day.
I am not making light of how you are feeling right now. Your feelings are real but you are stronger than you think Olivia, you made it to Uni which isn't easy. Look how far you've come!
I believe there's an intelligent, loving, strong and determined young lady in there fighting to get out and we are all here for you.
aw thankyou that’s really lovely advice and i appreciate it, i have had a browse at the colouring books and they look fun, the mornings are much worse than night time, i’m plodding along though xx
Hi, well done for sharing how you are feeling. When we are in the moment it is so hard to see a way out. I have been there and I still find it hard to cope at times but I write my journal everyday getting my thoughts out before I sleep. I make myself go for a walk everyday, I don't always want to😉 I read, make cards and watch something that interests me on tv. I have a colouring book too which is calming. I have done CBT in the past, last year I had 8 weeks telephone sessions and found it beneficial, I needed that cause I had lost a lot in my life and had to find myself again. You are amazing and you will get there. ❤🌈x
thankyou so much i’ve found it hard to get motivated again today but i forced myself to go on a walk with my mum. trying to do a little bit of uni work so i feel somewhat productive i’m still in the early days of CBT but i’m hoping it’ll be atleast beneficial in the end. i hope i’ll get there, like you said it’s hard to see a way out sometimes especially when your thinking is clouded and you don’t know how to feel xx
Contact your CBT therapist and see if you can have an emergency appointment to talk these feeling though. Or you might have been given a emergency mental health team number. Unfortunately the meds take time to work and from experience working though the problems facing round your head as taught though CBT can help calm them down. Hang in there it will get better xXx
i have the crisis teams number, however i get anxious im bothering them and i don’t really know if i’m in a ‘crisis’ i sure feel like i am but i know there’s people out there that have it so much more worse than me. i will contact my CBT therapist and ask if she has any other options xxx
I completely understand. See what they say and try doing a CBT task of setting small achievable goals (even just one) and writing down in your journal one thing that makes you anxious and try to work though it using CBT tools. But if after all this and you still feel overwhelmed and lost phone the care team. Just keep reminding yourself this is a blip and things will get better, you are stronger than you think xXx
Hello Olivia, sorry to hear you feel that way, I also under antidepressants since almost 8months, but decreasing the dosis in order to left them soon. I can understand your situation and something that help a lot to me was to stay very close to god’s word.
If you are a religious person you may try to contact someone in your community. 🙏🏻
If you’re catholic, there is a daily podcast name 10 minutes with Jesus that I’m sure can help you.
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and yes i think that’s what they are wanting to make sure of. i’ve only been on them for a month. and a little bit of both i think. my therapy is online like a web chat sort of thing. it’s kind of hard to interpret things through messages x
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