So bye, bye all. : Well having received a response to... - NRAS

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So bye, bye all.

medway-lady profile image
57 Replies

Well having received a response to an innocent post that the person wishes me well , but struggles with my posts I feel its time to say good bye. I've tried to be hopeful, honest and compassionate but believe that RA is not the whole sum of my life and so have decided that this group is not for me. To all those who have contacted me to say that they agree and have been supportive when I have tried to say don't concentrate on the negative but stay positive as there are some very good treatments and you will find one so just keep on going and be patient. I wish you all well but am not going to have it appear that I am in anyway malicious or nasty, as it is most definitely not true and in real life have done much good that feeds and keeps a roof over someones head and that I am proud of.

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medway-lady profile image
medway-lady
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57 Replies
allanah profile image
allanah

What happened . Did you use the report button ?

14penny profile image
14penny

will miss your posts I always found them helpfull, Take care X

AgedCrone profile image
AgedCrone

I know what you mean ML...but I won’t let the Snowflakes who want to wallow beat me....I’m staying to continue to try to convince that there is life with RA. It might not be as quickly as wished...but there are plenty of us proving daily that patience is rewarded.

All good wishes to you.

sylvi profile image
sylvi

I am so sad you feel like that my darling . I wish you would reconsider as you are a valuable member of this group and your leaving would be a sad loss. xxxx

Nockola profile image
Nockola

I don’t understand why anyone would struggle with your posts. I don’t usually comment on anyones but wanted to say I’m sorry that you feel this way. You need to do whats right for you in every aspect of your life. You should be very proud of yourself. X

NannyNooNoo profile image
NannyNooNoo

I’m sorry you feel that way, as I find your posts helpful and honest. I’m sure you will be missed by many of us, but you need to do what’s right for you x

KittyJ profile image
KittyJ

No please don’t go m-l, your replies are just as valuable as those that agree with wallowing and people don’t have to read your replies if they don’t want to. What a boring forum this would be if we all agreed on everything. Don’t go 🤗

AgedCrone profile image
AgedCrone in reply to KittyJ

Too right Kitty...as I keep banging on.....on this forum we can disagree without being rude & by not taking offense...just because we don’t like what somebody says is no reason to take out a personal vendetta on that person.

In fact doing that....is as bad as what you didn’t like in the first place! 🤪

lovemydoggy profile image
lovemydoggy in reply to AgedCrone

I echo that!

AgedCrone profile image
AgedCrone in reply to lovemydoggy

Sadly some people don’t get that....& make replies before they get their brain in gear.

Boxerlady profile image
Boxerlady

If you feel that you need to go for your own peace of mind obviously you must do what's right for you but I think that any forum is the stronger for having members with different approaches, experiences and opinions and that this one will be the poorer if you do leave.

allanah profile image
allanah

Sorry youve been upset. We all have a lot in common and disagree sometimes. But if this group helps you do stay around , report posts that upset you. Xx

AgedCrone profile image
AgedCrone in reply to allanah

Disagree? Us Allanah....never!

allanah profile image
allanah in reply to AgedCrone

I'd say 98 % lol . But we dont come to blows!! 😂

AgedCrone profile image
AgedCrone in reply to allanah

Wanna bet?🥊

allanah profile image
allanah in reply to AgedCrone

Lol !!! Well you are always wrong lol😂😂

AgedCrone profile image
AgedCrone in reply to allanah

I know..sad ain’t it!

But so are you!😂

allanah profile image
allanah in reply to AgedCrone

Disagree lol xx

AgedCrone profile image
AgedCrone in reply to allanah

😫

Deminem profile image
Deminem

Stay Medway Lady ...show them you can't keep a good woman down!

Green230461 profile image
Green230461

I have enjoyed reading your posts and have been uplifted by them. Take care I will miss your common sense kindness

Lina282 profile image
Lina282

Hi, I am not posting for a while as I had some upsetting response to my posts sometimes so absolutely understand how you feel.

I wish you all the best xx

wishbone profile image
wishbone

Don't know what happened, but I hope you don't go m-l.

LinaM profile image
LinaM

I always think your posts are from the heart and well meaning ... it’s important to remember that everyone on here is or has struggled in the past and at those times we can all be a bit fragile. But every post speaks to us all and how we react will differ depending on our outlook that day. Why don’t you give it a wee while to make up your mind ... you might feel differently tomorrow and we will all miss you if you go 💕

helixhelix profile image
helixhelix

It would be a great shame! We haven’t always agreed with each other but I’ve always welcomed your input, and we can’t all just say the same thing. We need a range of experiences and voices on here.

Maybe take a break?

amc282 profile image
amc282

Stick around! Positivity is what is needed!

springcross profile image
springcross

Hi m-l. I've not had much contact with you since I became a member on here almost a year ago but I have always read your responses to others and found them to very sensible, knowledgeable and helpful. I am surprised to hear you say that you are leaving this forum, I really wish you would stay, you have been here for five years now so please don't throw that away. I don't know what's happened but I do know that you will be missed very much if you leave. Please reconsider. xx

dawkin_S profile image
dawkin_S

Wait, what?! That's not good :( I hope you don't continue to feel like you can't stay and contribute, because that would be a massive shame.

If someone 'struggles' with your posts - whatever that means - well isn't that just life, that we don't always agree with everyone? If I don't like what someone writes, I can choose to stop reading, or debate the point or just ignore it. Personally, I have never seen you offer anything but honest and straightforward advice, and if that isn't what someone wants, that is up to them, not you.

rab1874 profile image
rab1874

You’ll be missed,your posts were always helpful and being positive is a big with this disease xxx

Eiram50 profile image
Eiram50

Not sure what has happened- but I wish you would stay?

Empress30 profile image
Empress30 in reply to Eiram50

Yes stay, positive is the way I roll!

crashdoll profile image
crashdoll

I’m sorry you were hurt.

That’s sad you feel pushed out. I hope you’ll reconsider but if not, genuinely wish you all the best. I like that we have a range of different people on here. After all, variety is the spice of life.

Soundofmusic52 profile image
Soundofmusic52

Sounds to me you have a lot of friends on here who look forward to your talk so just for a moment reconsider you don’t realise you do help a lot of people here stay safe 😷x

charisma profile image
charisma

So sorry to hear you have been subjected to such posts. I know from your posts over the years that you have coped magnificently even when kidney failure hit you. Wishing all the best for your life journey with this awful disease, whether posting here or not. 🤗

Kags1068 profile image
Kags1068

Like Wishbone, I'm not aware of what may have happened, but I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

Best wishes whatever you decide to do 😊

GranAmie profile image
GranAmie

nononono ... don't go, take a break just. When someone disagrees or struggles to understand yr point of view / opinion that's their right... people who see life from the dark side will always find a Pollyanna or a pragmatist or a helpful Annie difficult but let it be their problem... am learning to sing 'Pass me by etc etc' here and that does help. Hope to see more posts in a while x0x

Nyreedw profile image
Nyreedw

Sorry you feel like this but totally understand what you are saying. People need to see positive posts especially newly diagnosed. I have personally have no time for pity parties, yes I am talking from over 20 years of RA,and will do anything to reassure people there is a high chance of a normal life. Meds are different from 30+ years ago and many of the friends I've made through hospital etc are doing fantastic. X

Mmrr profile image
Mmrr

I have no idea what was said, but I will be so sorry to see you go. I've always found your input valuable and well judged.

Oshgosh profile image
Oshgosh

I’m sorry you feel you have to leave.

Have you considered just taking a ack seat for a while x

lovemydoggy profile image
lovemydoggy

Oh, I hope you don't go! If you feel you must take a break for your own peace of mind then I do understand, but I hope you will make it a break and come back to the forum. I enjoy your posts. Just look at all the support you have here. It's a tough road to deal with a chronic illness, and an especially stressful time for all. I hope you stay. We'd certainly miss you terribly.

Monkeysmum profile image
Monkeysmum

Just wanted to echo the comments of those above Medway-lady. I have certainly appreciated your advice to me in the past and the forum will be a lesser place without you.

A woman on another forum I belong to (cardiac) has 5 times in the last 2 months posted she was having a genuinely life-threatening medical emergency. She receives numerous replies every time encouraging and supporting her to get help, and some of us have even tried the PM route with her (often instigated by her) only to have every suggestion refused or multiple reasons offered why she can’t get an ambulance or in any way seek appropriate medical help. This lady says she is a single mum to two young children. I replied to the latest one yesterday with a message that I believe was compassionate, but essentially said ‘in the nicest possible way, stop posting about the crises and do something about them unless you want to have a medical emergency and potentially die’. As is always the case, this user has failed to answer any of the replies she’s had, and someone has replied asking for an update to know she’s ok. Someone replied to that request for an update agreeing, saying they were very worried and talking all about my overly ‘harsh’ reply...

The point of my ramble is that we cannot keep everyone happy all the time, and others may have an opinion that doesn’t align with ours, but that doesn’t mean our opinion is any less valid. Arthritis can be difficult and painful, but it really isn’t the end of the world: for many people there is plenty of hope of a positive outcome and good quality of life, and I say that as someone not yet under control and with permanent joint damage from not being diagnosed for years. That message needs to reach people, and it would be a real shame not to have your voice being one of those doing so.

Nyreedw profile image
Nyreedw in reply to

There was a lady kicked off an RA UK Facebook group for something very similar. Kept posting she was desperate etc ignored advice then put she was out clubbing in heels. She joined US groups and is doing same but actually asked if anyone was on the groups she was kicked off. It's a shame that people post like this but don't really want help as always make excuses sadly. X

MajesticMo profile image
MajesticMo

Please don't leave ML, I very rarely post on here being content to read all views and for you to go means we will be deprived of your caring sensible views which at times have helped me.

I will miss you 😥

Oh no! Just found you again too.

If you feel you need to go I quite understand that of course. You can always come back if you feel like it eh? 😜

I think people get upset a bit too easily sometimes these days. As long as posts are respectful I would hope we could all simply agree to disagree. I disagree with quite a lot at the moment, and say so. I do respect and understand that not everyone will agree with me. Drives me mad! 😆🤣😜

You take care now. X

Sheila_G profile image
Sheila_G

What is wrong with that???Don't let whoever it is bully you. There is someone on this site who I think is extremely rude but I just ignore them. Just ignore the person and speak to the rest of us.

achyknitter profile image
achyknitter

ML, having always read your posts with interest malicious and nasty are the last words I associate with you - practical, sensible and full of good advice are far truer descriptions of your posts. You are one of the forum members who have helped me deal more effectively with RA and these days I am far more proactive in seeking help. Please stay - you make such a valuable contribution.

Pulfs profile image
Pulfs

Ignore the nasty responses and don't interact with them just the positive ones. You can have a discussion on topics without being angry if there are ones that have done that don't let them bring you down. Keep posting your upbeat posts and stay 😊

Also medway- lady...we are currently all bashing around in a weird dystopian nightmare. Some folks are scared (for a variety of reasons). Many may be lonely, some are not getting treatment when they should. Some of us (me!) are generally mad as hell at the world. Things bubble up and folks misinterpret stuff. Often it's a first gut response. These days I'm very careful at reading something a couple of times before responding, recognising that I'm a bit savage and on the edge at the moment. I think lots of us are probably a bit savage and in the edge atm.

Wobbies profile image
Wobbies

Medway-lady, plesae reconsider. I have personally always found your posts very interesting and helpful. In general people on this site are usually very supportive and compassionate because they know what living with RD is like. Just one person amongst so many posting in an upsetting way amongst so many is almost miraculous compared to other sites. Of course you must leave if you feel you have no alternative but you will be missed.

stbernhard profile image
stbernhard

It's very sad that you feel that way, but you are the boss. I certainly never felt anything but good about your posts. I live a good active life with RA and I hope you will continue like that with yours as well. Stay safe, positive and happy.

dippyd09 profile image
dippyd09

I haven’t seen your posts, I have to be honest. This place is a very safe place and I am very saddened to see you might leave. I have always found the people on this site to be understanding, extremely helpful and knowledgable.please don’t let anyone make you feel this way. How they react is their problem not yours. Please reconsider. Be well,safe and happy above all.

Plumcrumble profile image
Plumcrumble

Please stay 👍💕

Aliceeliza profile image
Aliceeliza

I've no idea what you wrote but as long as you were not rude or making false claims and the admins have not asked you to leave, please stay. I certainly do not agree with everything on the site and I sometimes write and then delete my post because I maybe angry or upset and know I shouldn't post it but we need many different opinions on here and it is up to each individual to choose what helps them and to ignore what doesn't help. Hope you choose to stay

Gnarli profile image
Gnarli

We can't like everyone or everything. We have the option of not reading, not reacting or not responding to posts we 'struggle' with. We are all adults here and should be able to get along even if we may find others' opinions unwelcome. I am saddened to hear that someone has given such a negative response to your post. Perhaps they were having a bad day? I wish you could reconsider as you are a valuable member of this forum and would be very missed

jrdad profile image
jrdad

I have not been on this site for very long, but your comment tells me you are a well adjusted & caring person. You also appear to be not only good to other people but good to yourself as well.

Green230461 profile image
Green230461

Look after yourself xx

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