Crying over the jobs i used to do !!: Crying .... Just... - NRAS

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Crying over the jobs i used to do !!

nellysgran profile image
35 Replies

Crying .... Just a rant about the things i cant do like i used to .... Sorry to rant about this but i have just had a good cry because i cant do the ironing !!! yes its the job i most hate ! but now i cant do it because of the pain in my upper arm, i almost drop the iron trying to lift it, its a fairly new one and not heavy, even trying to lift small things like a cup of coffee just makes me want to shout out and pain killers are not touch it. !!

Sorry again, but feel better now. lol xx

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nellysgran profile image
nellysgran
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35 Replies
allanah profile image
allanah

Aw sweetheart. Don't we know the feeling. Life changed but tomorrow is another day as they say and your arms might do it tomorrow! I must admit I gold more than I attempt to iron these days. But have a good bubble and get it out of your system Xx Xx hugs

Ruth12345 profile image
Ruth12345

As allanah said, know how you feel. I am fortunate my oh does ours, if im desperate I use my travel iron. Not a great result and it is painfull but doable.

Mmrr profile image
Mmrr

It is so frustrating to say the least. Rant away.

I've just spent the afternoon in bed, I slept for 80 minutes, totally fatigued, aching and brainfog, I cant lift my arms. Why ?

I visited my daughter and baby grandson yesterday. I didn't drive, nor walk any distance, nor do anything remotely physical, quite the opposite. Yet I'm ill today.

Trying to get any medical person to understand is impossible.

PinkLamb profile image
PinkLamb in reply to Mmrr

Aw, I do hope that you feel better tomorrow Mmrr

Hugs

X

Kalimera57 profile image
Kalimera57 in reply to Mmrr

So understand how you’re feeling. I’ve got a gorgeous 5 and a half month baby grandson who I would love to hold for longer than a minute and have a good dance with but the joints of my left arm are flaring so badly and the shoulder is so stiff that I can’t. It’s saddeni that this disease spoils so much.

PinkLamb profile image
PinkLamb

Hi nellysgran,

Aw bless you!! 😥

Yes we can all feel for you, as we have all, or are going through the same thing, but what a wonderful forum this is!!! knowing that we each understand the problems and pain that we face everyday, and sometimes it's good to have a cry just to get it out of our systems,

Tomorrow is another day

Hoping you feel better then

X

nellysgran profile image
nellysgran

Thank you all for your kind words, the tissues have been put away !! xx

Ruth12345 profile image
Ruth12345 in reply to nellysgran

🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

RA57 profile image
RA57

It’s so hard and unless you have this condition nobody really understands. Like you I often have a cry for the old me, whereas the new me is still adapting to doing things differently 😊. I find it helps me by keeping a brief diary of how my day has been. Tomorrow is a new day 😘 take care

HappykindaGal profile image
HappykindaGal

Bless your heart - it's awful not being able to do the things that we used to do. Although, not sure I'd be crying over not being able to do the ironing :) I absolutely raged when there were things I am no longer able to do easily that I went to counselling. I knew something had to change. Might work for you - could be worth a try?

sule profile image
sule

Coping with RA is like the grieving process. It involves tears, rants, denial, anger, depression ....and the list goes on! However, when you have been thro' all that (maybe several times) you can reach a point of acceptance. It means your focus changes to what you can do. You can't do the ironing but you can phone a friend and cheer up their day or meet for a coffee. I was devastated when I watched my nieces and nephews going swimming or for a playdate on the beach - things I could no longer do and I grieved long and hard. However, in the end, totally fed up with my negative attitude, I realised that I could play epic games of monopoly with them (which no one else in the family had time to do). I carved my 'own niche' in their lives and my spirit lifted. Try not to make the illness your identity. I am a woman with a disabling condition but I am not a disabled person! This process took several years for me to reach this point and I posted today to give you hope and encouragement that you won't feel like this forever.

Kalimera57 profile image
Kalimera57 in reply to sule

Beautifully put.

Bojedo profile image
Bojedo in reply to sule

Thank you, Sule. These thoughts give me hope.

Ribbon2079 profile image
Ribbon2079

I have just been diagnosed with RA. My doctor says my numbers are off the charts. To say I am in pain is an understatement. My life has stopped. I no longer work as I need to draw and be able to pull a frame on and off of an embroidery machine for testing designs. The last time I tried that I took some painkillers, worked for a few hours....and by later that night and the entire next day I was taking more painkillers around the clock just to survive the additional pain I brought upon myself in trying to work. I am not yet medicated with actual RA meds...just steroids, advil and tramadol. I have heard once you get on the actualy meds for RA, the pain can disappear and you can feel pretty normal again. I cannot even imagine that at this point as I cannot use my hands for much and walking ...well now I have to use two crutches for support as with the pain their is also great weakness. I am pretty much housebound at the moment but hoping things will return to normal once I am able to get the medication needed. Have you pursued and are using specific medications and your still left feeling this bad?

Creakywrists profile image
Creakywrists in reply to Ribbon2079

It will get better. It may take a while and you will have up days and down days, but the awful time you’re going through now is the worst. Be kind to yourself.

Kalimera57 profile image
Kalimera57 in reply to Ribbon2079

I really feel for you. I was that bad about 20 years ago . I was almost bedridden for 6 weeks. In despair I called a helpline connected to Rheumatoid Arthritis. The lady also had the disease. She said I might never be that bad ever again and touch wood, I haven’t. I hope it will be like that for you. Her main advice was to keep moving through the pain. I try most days to do that. Your consultant should be getting you on meds to stabilise everything. This forum is very informative. I jot things down in my RA book. Eat healthily, drink lots of water and have a good cry too. Reflexology has also helped me a lot .

Your job sounds very interesting and creative. I hope you’re able to get back to it .

Dspooky01 profile image
Dspooky01 in reply to Ribbon2079

Hi Ribbon,

I was diagnosed with RA in Jan this year, I was in the most pain I’d ever felt, the night before my first appointment with the Consultant I couldn’t sleep at all and spent the night walking about downstairs (couldn’t sit down as I wouldn’t have been able to get up). DAS score was 6.32 and started on MTX, HCQ, Naproxen, & Folic Acid.

Today I’m still in pain but it’s about level 3 compared to off the scale, certainly something I can cope with, and hopefully it will improve in the coming months. Side effects are only minor, so yes, things do get better!

Remember how you feel now so that in a couple of months time you can look back and see how far you’ve come.

PS, I went back to work after 6 months off and that has really helped too.

JEM95 profile image
JEM95

Six years ago I could barely move, I was in so much pain 24/7 I didn’t know how I would be able to cope. I couldn’t walk 100 yards without feeling physically sick.

It took a long time, and various tweaks and adjustments to drugs and my lifestyle, but now I feel fabulous. My RA is under control and I push myself physically every day.

Four years ago I bought a puppy and as she started to grow and walk more and for longer each day, I did too.

Now I think nothing of a 10 mile walk, I do Pilates and swim. It took a long time to get to 2019 me, but it was possible. If someone had said to me 6years ago my RA would be under control I wouldn’t have believed it.

Hang on in there, it WILL get better, you will be able to do more and hurt less. It will never be the same as pre RA, but it will be good in a different way.

Sending you a big hug x keep on keeping on.

Kalimera57 profile image
Kalimera57 in reply to JEM95

Jem that sounds great! I used to do 10 mile walks. What meds are you on? Your post is very inspiring.

JEM95 profile image
JEM95 in reply to Kalimera57

I’m on Methotrexate, hydroxychoriquin, naproxen, frolic acid, vitamin D and omeprazole - plus I throw in a few extra vitamins so that I rattle a bit more!

I have ups and downs, but mostly ups these days.

Hang on in there...... x

Bojedo profile image
Bojedo in reply to JEM95

FROLIC ACID?

I need some of that!

JEM95 profile image
JEM95 in reply to Bojedo

Can’t beat frolic acid, ha ha ha!!

Kalimera57 profile image
Kalimera57 in reply to JEM95

Thanks JEMS. I’m on Sulphasalazine and occasional naproxen but no way could I do what you’re doing. I don’t think Sulphasalazine is working very well.

I know just how you feel nellysgran because I am exactly the same and often have a little cry about it. I can't even make myself a cup of tea anymore because I can't lift the kettle up. I need help to get dressed and undressed and can't put on my coats and jackets because I can't reach far enough behind my back to put my sleeves in unless someone helps me. I need a seat that rises up and down to have a bath. I used to hate vacuum cleaning, but now I wish I could do it. My son tells me to concentrate on the things that I can do instead of the things that I can't and I know he is right but it is very hard.

Siri84 profile image
Siri84

I hope you feel good and this is the feeling I try to cope with every day . I was diagnosed when I was 17 and I am now 34. I dread about the future and worry about things I may not be able to do any longer . I am a Mechanical engineer but quit my job last year and can’t bring myself to look for another due to the fatigue , could cook for 5-6 people easily but it’s a chore I can’t summon up energy for anymore , a painter but can’t draw due to inflamed fingers and wrists . I miss the person I was but trying to accept the new ‘ME’ . It makes me mad when people say I should look at the positive things/side - nobody understands how it feels when their body turns against themselves . Things you could do yesterday are super painful today and tomorrow you can’t even do them . Sorry for the rant - I am not so negative everyday - it’s the RA acting up which is driving me crazy 😖😖😖😖

PinkLamb profile image
PinkLamb

Hi nellysgran,

I have just finished work, but was thinking about you!!

Hope that you are feeling better today??

Hugs to you

X

Lyneal profile image
Lyneal

So sorry to hear this, but I am exactly the same the pile of ironing is mounting up but the pain in my upper arm is so debilitating can’t lift anything. I am having a cortisone injection on Monday, so hope it will help. I have been on Neproxen and many co codamol but nothing works.

Lizzie3 profile image
Lizzie3

Hi, I gave up ironing many years ago due to my RA. I avoid buying anything that needs ironing if possible. I take the washing out of the machine as soon as it has finished. Lower spin speeds leave less creases in the clothes. I put anything I can onto hangers and dry them outside if possible, otherwise on the curtain rails if the weather is bad. Not a good look but I don't care. I finish them off in the tumble dryer on low heat if there are any creases left. They can then be hung up in your wardrobe. Much easier. Be kind to yourself X

Mmrr profile image
Mmrr in reply to Lizzie3

I gave up ironing over 30 years ago when I had 3 small children. I do own an iron but could not tell you the last time I used it. Modern materials do very well with a wash, dry, wear routine.

nellysgran profile image
nellysgran

Thank you all for all your posts, i am feeling a lot more positive today thanks to your posts, i have just been shopping and still cant lift anything with my right arm but hey.. my left arm can lift a cup of tea.....aahh....and a new handbag ! xx Hugs to everyone for cheering me up.xx

Amy_Lee profile image
Amy_Lee

I can understand how you feel. I needed other to serve me a cup of drink. I could not hold a cup of water those days, it was horrible. But then, I am perfectly well now and I live a very normal life now.

Just work closely with your rheumy and physiotherapist, you should be okay in future.

Amy

💐

I know how you feel . I miss the old me. I was outgoing, active always looking for a laugh and full of energy I never sat still (my house was so clean 😂). I would just take a notion and paint a whole room don’t even dust now.

Guilt is my down fall...... I miss out socially and family life. I’m not the women my husband married. Don’t get me wrong he is golden but I am a burden. He works hard but does so much at home while I lie on the settee barely moving. Our future is effected not just financially but holidays , concerts etc... it effects him as well and I hate that his life is being dragged down by my health.

Now I’ve set myself off 😭😢

nellysgran profile image
nellysgran in reply to

Hi i know exactly how you feel, we have just been away for a few days but i feel so guilty about not being able to go and do things with my other half.

Best thing is to let it out and share it . I do always feel a bit better after 😁

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