Hi, I hope its ok to vent on here. I'm feeling so stressed and low. I quit my job on Friday after months of issues with my employer, I won my grievance with them in September but I was still having issues with them when I returned back to work. Friday was the final straw and I just quit. I have no regrets about this, it was the right decision, but I feel the weight of the world today. I've started looking for another job but there is nothing appropriate. I don't think anyone would take on someone who has all the issues i come with, I walk with a stick and I just don't feel like anyone would hire me. I worked with my previous company for 10 years and I've just lost all confidence in my abilities and to be honest I'm really scared about competing for jobs when I have zero confidence and. I don't know, I know I'm moaning but I feel like I'm spiralling into a pit that I can't escape from. 
Stressed:(: Hi, I hope its ok to vent on here. I'm... - NRAS
Stressed:(
Hey OuchyJennna, I feel your pain, I had to quit my job after diagnosis, in pretty much the same circumstances, too.
Firstly, give your self the time to get well again, try and put the present to one side for a time. Because, if you don’t get well, becoming employable again is hard.
In the meantime, if you have to go on benefits, then do some volunteering (I’m in OZ, that’s what we have to do for Mutual Obligation). At least that way, you can choose something enjoyable, with “management” that will accept some understanding of your limitations. I’ve done this for the last 4 months, and I’m starting to feel inspired about what paid work I might look for.
Lastly, I wish you all the best. It’s a difficult row to hoe, but there’s support here. Please come back and chat about how you’re going - successes or downers, it doesn’t matter, cheers Deb 
oh my, what a nightmare ....if you have handed your notice in as a result of how badly they have treated you, and I assume they have not changed since you won the grievance against them ?! It might be worth speaking to someone/CAB? to would see if you have a chance at winning a constructive dismissal claim against them ? ! Hopefully, you will find a company who values your loyalty, don't let the b*st*rds get you down, you are better than them ! Write a list of the things you can do and find something which suits you. Good luck !
Sound advice Rubyroo1
Agree!
I am so so sorry what your going through, things will get better, although its hard to see that at the moment I know
you know the saying as one door shuts another opens and I am sure that door will open
have you got any hobbys you can do and make into a business? something your naturally good at? everyone is , if you say no, you just haven't found it yet,or could you study for something?
Thank you for your advice. I'm feeling really lost atm. I know it will all pass and I'm just feeling terribly sorry for myself. I'm so down, Im struggling to concentrate and I'm so tired, the thought of trying to gey a new job when I feel like this is just awful but the thought of staying there was worse, I've put in another grievance so who know what will happen there. I really needed to vent a little today, thank you for listening x j
We all have days like that, mine is today too, why me day, the weather is going to get really lovely wednsday onwards, the sun will be out and it always give a lift
just hang in there things will turn around for you
as they say,when you reached rock bottom there is only one way, and that's up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi ouchyjenna
This is the time you have to concentrate on you, take the time to rest and heal, ring the benefits people or go into your local job centre to see what help they can give you. It’s disgusting you gave 10 years of your life to that employer and they wouldn’t give a little space for you, you’re definitely better out of there,good luck and keep us posted 🤗x
Awful situation and when youre feeling so low it seems as if it's the end of the world.
Practically, I wouldn't look at grievance etc.. as it's a long hard route and will keep you in a depressed mindset for months, perhaps a couple of years. Constructive dismissal is really tough to prove as it needs a huge amount of evidence.
I don't know what you do, but have you looked at home working? I employ 2 carers and a lady with Crohns and they all work from home. If you want a chat, message me and I'll see if I can make any suggestions that will make you feel a little more positive 😁😁
Vent away Ouchyjenna. We all need to offload and this site is the ideal place. There will be a host of people who have had experience of your situation and can offer sympathy and advice. If you feel that you have the strength to pursue a case of contructive dismissal taking advice would be a way forward. However, as Cwendyn says, they are notoriously difficult to prove and a long hard grind keeping you from moving on. Only you can decide. In the meantime be kind to yourself and explore your options. Hugs
J
Hi Jenna
Well done you! Looking after yourself is the most important aspect of having RA and by taking yourself away from stressful employment you are on the right track.
To build yourself up again after such an ordeal, should be your first priority so please go visit your GP and get as much support as they can offer. You deserve it.
What most employers do to us is abuse, so no wonder we feel stressed being in such a position. It's totally wrong, demeaning, disrespectful and I'm sure, in 20 years time, will be looked back on as incredibly cruel Management - at least I hope so.
It's not really managers who are at fault, it's HR departments who need to get themselves up to date and get these messages through to all employees - to put the focus on ability and support rather than fault finding and threatening policies.
There are so many of us in the same boat, all trying to cope with RA as well as stress at work on our own! RA awareness day does help a little but it needs a massive change in Group Think before organisations embrace disabilities - as the Equality Act aims to promote.
Raising grievance after grievance isn't the answer and going through the Employment Tribunal route is just self destructive! Who wins?!
So, aim to find the true you again, take your time and enjoy this freedom and then you'll find the best path for you.
Best wishes.
L
Hello, first of all just take time for things to settle. It’s really hard I know. I was retired by my employer after 25 years, I had no choice (it was before the disability laws all changed) I loved my job. The good news is that it will get better.
Firstly, you have to get into a better place health wise. Your health is paramount to everything that follows. Be kind to yourself. Of course you have to think of finances too. Perhaps think about benefits. Not sure where you stand on statutory sick pay? At least it would be a small income.
I understand how your confidence has been knocked. Mine was too. I think if your health is better that may improve along with it. Keep your good friends close and talk to them. Be kind to yourself and get well.
I also think you should contact Citizen's advice bureau, as they should be able to give you some advice. They should give advice regarding you situation of quitting work and if you have any claim against the employer. ACAS would also be worth phoning for the same advice. CAB also could advise you about benefits but as you walked out rather than being made redundant there may be a period of time before you can claim. I don't know about PIP or ESA as I live in Spain but once was made redundant from a nursing job and ACAS told me my rights plus my mum used to volunteer for CAB many years ago and they have files for everything so then should be able to look up all the latest information you need. Rest for a few days and perhaps see your GP as a change of medication might be needed especially if you are feeling very down. I wish you a quiet few days until you feel strong enough to either phone or visit a local CAB office. Please let us know how you are doing as we are here to support each other. 💜💜💜
Thank you all for all your kind words of advice.
Hi Ouchy Jenna
I would heartily recommend taking a couple of weeks off to rest both your mind and body. You will feel much better at the end of it. If it's necessary to claim benefits, get your doctor to give you a sick note for a couple of weeks.
Spend the couple of weeks doing nice but undemanding things, like getting some easy to read books or dvds out of the library, maybe try catching up with that friend who you know can make you laugh about anything or one you haven't seen for a while who will have lots to talk to you about. Go for a walk in a park and talk to the dog owners. See a film or a local am dram theatre production (or professional, I'm just trying to think of cheap stuff). Put on some music you haven't listened to in a while. Use your spare time to do some relaxation exercises.
It takes a while to destress for a long term situation, give yourself have that time. If you need a medical justification to yourself, then remember stress leads to flare ups.
Best of luck
Jenny
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