Personal assistant carer

[freesthomas]

Hello all.... following my recent post saying that my husband has left me after being together for almost 30 years, I am now looking into what type of personal care would suit me. The standard Carr package they offer is too rigid. I’m only 42 and work four days a week. I’ve been thinking that having a personal assistant and using Diverse Cymru to manage the “employer” side of things for me (something which my support worker suggested). Does anyone have any experience of having a PA and how do you find him/her? 😘 xx

[nomoreheels]

I don't I'm afraid but I just wanted to say how good it is to hear you're now planning towards being independent, which I know seems like an oxymoron given you're planning to employ a PA, but what I mean is it's one of the first steps of your new life. I know it's still fresh & must still be a facer, you don't 'get over' this experience in such a short space of time, but I'm convinced with your attitude (he's made his bed etc) you'll form a new type of life for yourself, you're deserving of a better one. I'm also convinced there is a man worthy of your love & affection out there maybe not just yet but when you least expect it.

I wish you luck in finding your PA & hope you hit on a good one at first try. x

[freesthomas in reply to nomoreheels]

Hello.... I’m just trying to stay focused on my life. Don’t get me wrong, some days are emotionally horrendous and I have mildly self harmed. I am under the care of the mental health team who have sent a referral to their primary care team for one to one intervention. I still love my husband and we are tidy with one another. At the moment I just want to hang on to our friendship. I couldn’t go back as the trust has gone. I know hmtgats trust should be part of being a friend too, but I just can’t sever all ties - I’m just not ready for that. Sounds like I’m a fool, but I am just trying to be true to my feelings. Thanks for your kind words and support. I’m not sure who would want me because I’ve had arthritis since I was 14 and have a lot of joint damage. Time will tell I guess!

[dbestdeb]

I don’t have advice about a personal assistant but please keep this in mind—-Feelings are not the best judges, unfortunately and they often don’t make the best decisions. Though you didn’t ask advice and I know it’s none of my business, I have been in your shoes and know what you are going through. It wasn’t until my children were grown and I could distance myself from my ex more, that I truly began to heal from the betrayal. If a female friend treated you the way he did, would you remain friends?

I wish you the best and hope the P.A. you choose works out well.

[freesthomas in reply to dbestdeb]

Thanks for your reply. I am aware of my feelings being the driving force of remaining friends with my husband once we have gone through divorce. It’s so hard because we have been together since we were kids really. I don’t know how it will work out because realistically I am not concerned over his life with this other woman so not sure what we will actually talk about. I suppose time will tell.. xx