Shaking hands

[TxKelly]

What do you do when someone wants to shake your hand and your hand is killing you? I don't want to be rude, or have to explain I have RA - but I don't know how to politely avoid shaking.

[BubbleMonkey]

Maybe go in with the other hand or say you just touched something gross and don't want to get their hand grim too? Or I guess just say you hurt your hand. You don't have to go into the RA part.

[TxKelly in reply to BubbleMonkey]

If one hand hurts - they both do. I think the "hurt my hand" is a great idea. Thanks!

[Neonkittie17 in reply to BubbleMonkey]

Yes I've had to say I can't shake hands as I've damaged a bone in my hand. No need to tell them re arthritis. x

[Cherub198889]

I used to carry a small brace in my purse and put it on whenever I felt a handshake was going to happen.

[nanawilson]

From now on I'm just going to be honest and say my hands are too sore no need to go into detail just laugh it off or go for the hug 😩

[TxKelly]

it's always a business situation with me ( no hugging).

Thanks!

[loppyloo12 in reply to TxKelly]

If it's business then I'm sorry they should understand it's a illness not a addiction if they don't understand they not worth doing business with Hun I felt same about telling my work but then had a major flare they wanted to know everything and to be honest they been great and told me i was mad for not telling them so nothing wrong in being honest Hun xx

[pip12]

Mine is just my right hand so if anybody wants to shake hands I offer them my left hand and explain about RD in my right. Everybody upto now has been very sympathetic and understands. Just hope the left hand continues to be OK.

[Hidden in reply to pip12]

I do exactly the same thing. I have one bad wrist (right) and one ok one (left) .

[Fra22-57]

When my rheumatologist greets me in clinic he just touches fingers gently and no hand shakes anymore

[MAHGS]

I tend to use both hands when I shake now 😁& people intuitively do not crunch the bones . SO painful otherwise

Tried it with bank manager today - result !

[wishbone]

Here's my tried and trusted method....I pause and wait for the person to offer their hand first, then I lightly grip their hand from above between the thumb and fingers of my left hand, apply a little pressure then release pretty sharpish in case they try to do a full on macho handshake. Daren't risk using my right hand as it's in worse shape than the left. I rarely have to say anything as I always wear wrist splints so it's pretty obvious I have a problem, though I do get the odd bemused look.

[Kai--]

.

Some previous 🔙 creative 👩‍🎨 , polite 😌 🙏 , hand-shaking 🤝 gems 💎💎 , TxKelly: healthunlocked.com/search/s...

[Amazing 😯 the similarities & endless variety of techniques employed:

🤜💥🤛 , ✋️🤚 , 🙌 , 🙏 , 🚫 🤝 , 👋. , 🖖 , 🤙 , 👌 . 👐 . . . 🗣 💬 , 🤧 , 🤢 , 😲 , 😘 , 🤗 , 😬, 💁‍♂️ , 🙅, 🙆‍♂️ , 🤷‍♀️ , 🤦‍♂️ , 😃, 😄 . . . ]

.

Necessity, the mother 🤰 of invention? 🤔 😳 😂

.

🎄 🔖 🎁 🎅 ❄️ ☃️ 🌨

.

[Nikma]

I have RA in both hands and personally i would rather tell people that i have RA and it hurts, when we are about to shake hands. Sometimes i do the asian way of "shaking hands", i put my hands together in front of my chest and nod my head.

[Padram in reply to Nikma]

I was about to suggest the Namaste, the Asian way of greeting people 😀

[Beviejon1]

We give hugs in my church every Sun.Well everyone else does.I do not as a few years ago I was hugged so hard I had pain in my neck for weeks.😕

[oldtimer]

If I can't avoid a handshake, I put out both hands to hold the other person's hand. Then they can't do one of those bone crushers that are so painful they make you cry out!

[Karen77 in reply to oldtimer]

I do this. I feel like it makes you come off as more affectionate and sympathetic, so win-win. Other times, I will go further and reach for their wrist/forearm. They're also forced to grasp my forearm that way and I think that prevents them from squeezing too hard.

There are enough people nowadays with aversions to being touched that you can just ignore an outstretched hand and politely smile/show warmth through expression and they won't even notice (or wil forgive you for the lack of handshake). And if you felt compelled to explain yourself, say your hands are sore or you're not feeling well. No need to go beyond that!

Gentle hugs!

Karen

[weathervane in reply to oldtimer]

After having my hand crushed a few times i have also found that the double hand shake seems to work . Its awkward as you don’t won’t to insult anyone by refusing to shake hands . Im at a wake tomorrow night where there will be alot of meeting and greeting so maybe sore on Friday!!

[TxKelly in reply to weathervane]

Sorry about your loss! Hope you don't end up too sore on Friday. That would just be unfair!

[weathervane in reply to TxKelly]

Thank you , it was my brother in laws , relative . I managed to avoid painful hand shake , more hugs involved as was very sudden.

[Nain68cariad]

You know I actually forgot about this. When I was first diagnosed I suffered with very painful hands, a friend in church always had a strong hand shake and I used to suffer but could never tell him. Thankfully over the years it has got better anyway I hate a limp half hearted handshake.

Try using both hands maybe you might get to know who has an iron grip or wear a wrist splint,..... It will pass I promise you....

[TxKelly]

Thank you all for your suggestions! Now I have several things I can do to avoid the unnecessary pain.

[Nuttyshirlz]

Hi I just say sorry got a bit of a bug and don’t want to pass it onto ppl.but when it was my sons wedding,I had to but suffered badly next few days x

[TxKelly in reply to Nuttyshirlz]

Isn't it sad that something as simple as shaking hands can make someone hurt? Never occurred to me before. Congrats on your sons marriage!

[Nuttyshirlz in reply to TxKelly]

Yes ppl just don’t get that slightly hold feels like crushing to us.buf it’s hard to explain.ah thanks pet x

[Pamelah5]

I just say my hands hurt they usually say ok give a hug or shake hands softly.

[L-DL]

When I know I'm going into a situation where I have to shake hands, I wear my splint. I also carry my compression glove, which is easier to carry around in a pocket or bag. People are never taken aback by it so far.

[Lyneal]

Hi I had terrible hand pain, I was a councillor and had to shake a lot of hands, I offered the other hand that wasn’t as bad as my right hand but it is a pain. Am sick of trying to tell people what RA is they just seem to think oh yes that’s what my Granny had, when you know it totally wasn’t. So now I don’t tell anyone, can’t be bothered to go through it all. My ha da are much better now, but a firm hand shake can start them off again. I dread it.

[TxKelly in reply to Lyneal]

Oh no! - I'm sure everyone you meet wants to shake your hand. I now consider myself lucky. I only have to shake every once in a while.