Think I need a little break ....

I've got very overwhelmed and don't feel well at all. Aftermath of having a terrible two years of my Mum passing away but most of all the fact I've not been able to come to terms with it as my SIL was abusive and took advantage of my kind nature on a daily basis for two years as she was executor (but I did all re work re probate and selling my Mum's house !!) Now it's two months after completion I find I'm looking back on it and feeling absolute horror at what was done to me. I need to move on but need to retreat a little too.

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31 Replies

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  • Yeap does sounds like a break is just what you need right now... doesn’t have to be expensive but nurturing.

    Take care

    Ali

  • Thanks .. I meant mental break ... Away in my mind 😉

  • See you soon guys and hope you keep well. xx

  • It’s good to give yourself time to gather your thoughts and emotions after a loss and traumatic time. Wishing you well and hope to see you back sooner than you think. Take care. BG

  • I'll be back soon when I've done a few things in the house I need to and had a good rest. Thank you BG. 😁

  • Resting up sounds good .... you will be missed.

  • Thank you but I am coming back soon and I will miss lovely people here. 😘

  • Stay grounded chuck and keep well.

    Ali

  • Thank you Ali. ❤️

  • It's a horrible time, so you do need to look after yourself. Me & my sisters managed to hold it together in the immediate aftermath of my mum's death, but it hit us all months later and I don't think we spoke for a longish while. Not that we'd fallen out or anything as horrible as happened to you, but we just needed time to ourselves.

    So give yourself space, and come back when you are ready.

  • I'll be back soon thank you HH. I think I've got delayed grieving as I seem to be really missing her. I understand you all needing they time apart too and I'm glad you are friends with your siblings. X

  • Y eh you do need a break .a d try find a way forward .dont no if you will ever forgive them.im same boat parents passed away just try no think about it my way .every ones diff.take your time try no do nothing hasty take care

  • Thank you Ajay and you take good care too. ❤️

  • You take care of you Julie. You know from your recent return you'll be welcomed back when you feel the time is right. Stay as well as you can lovely. x

  • Thank you NMH .. I'll be back .. As Arnie said! I need some me time. Take care dear and speak again very soon. xx

  • A hugely difficult time anyway, without the added stress and anxiety of a relative treating you so badly!

    I too lost my mum very recently and struggled immensely . I am one of seven and we all dealt with it in our own way- I definitely needed some space to gather myself before being able to move forward.

    Please take care of yourself and I really hope we hear from you sooner, rather than later.

    Marie

  • Sorry to hear you lost your Mum recently. I hope you are close with your siblings. I will be back soon. Thank you. x

  • Take care x

  • and you 😘

  • It is strange how death effects different people. Emotions take over and word are said and things done.Greed plays a large part.You know you have held your head high and you now can look at others differently.

    Years will pass and things might come better for.

    Don't let all this stop you grieving your own way. Walk away from your pain and know your Mum loved you.

  • Thank you .. I just need time now the awful sister in law is finally out of my life. Makes such a difference.

  • I feel your pain. Coming to terms with an abusive relative is hard. Hope you can put it behind you now and move forward. From my experience I can tell you that that person will never be happy. You will have enough people who care about you....

  • Thank you Nain. Sounds like you've had similar. You're right .. The abusive person will never be happy. Shes been a misery for years and saw this as an opportunity to bully me.

  • How strange, this person sounds very much like my bully who over the years have fallen out with many people........ We have to forget about them.....

  • I think they could fall out with everyone! These sort of people seem to thrive on bullying and upsetting people. She lives quite a distance so I'm thankful of that.

  • Take care kitty sending big hugs

    Kiki x x

  • Big hugs back Kiki .. I'm taking a couple of weeks to tidy my house out. I've things to get rid of and reorganise as we want to get it decorated and a new bathroom in the New Year. Hope you are well. xx

  • I understand family stress issues, etc. very well. Anger and stress is very bad for RA -it will affect your immune system for sure. I don't mean to preach just take care of yourself and seek counseling to help. Your health is most important issue. Good luck.

  • Thanks Dryan and sorry if you've experienced this too. I'm over her abuse .. Just need some time to do my things as I was doing so much every day to finalise probate and the house sale so all my own things were never done. I didn't ever begrudge doing anything for my dearest Mum but to be treated by the SIL so nastily was uncalled for. I'm not in touch now with her.

  • It is still raw and you need time to let yourself grieve and heal. It will take as long as it takes. Give yourself distance from her and if you don;t have to deal with her ever again, then make that your protective thing to do. explain to your brother that you love him, but the abuse and horror she inflicted on you at a most critical and emotional time in your life is unforgivable and you don;t wish to have contact with her. Email, write a letter or meet up with him to tell him, what ever works for you. Time to be selfish for a while and recover from such an awful and emotionally damaging time you have had. all the best and look after you now.

  • Oh lovely 😢 I was thinking in the night how lovely and supportive you have been and how I didn’t really know much about you so I thought I’d look back at your posts as I didn’t remember seeing any, and saw this! I feel so horrible that I didn’t see it at the time💕

    I hope your feeling a little better Hun. I lost my mum 11 years ago now when I was 17 and it never gets easier so if you have only just lost your mum with everything else you have to deal with you must feel so low and sad 😔

    I’m always here Hun if you need a rant or a cry or even to make you laugh if I can. Lots of love to you lovely lady 💕💕💕💕💕

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