RA, My Silent Partner

[jessquilts]

I am coming to terms with RA and the new challenges it brings to my life. I have decided to journal my journey and wanted to post a few of my feelings here as well.

I started out being angry, angry at my body for betraying me, angry at the universe for doing this to me. For Pete's sake, I'm an artist, why did the universe choose to mess with my hands? Yes, my feet and other things too, but I was most angry at the pain in my hands and the fog in my head. However, over the last few months, I've started to come to terms with RA. I am starting to see this as a kind of dance with RA. Sometimes I lead, sometimes it does, but we have to work together to move through life. It is my silent partner, as it's hard for others to see how it's affecting me, it sneaks up on me at times, waiting in the wings to remind me that it's always present, by announcing that it's going to make a visit whenever I want to get something done & over do it, instead of checking to make sure that my "partner" is going to be happy with how I've decided to do something.

I can say that RA has forced me to re-evaluate everything in my life, just as a partner in a business would force you to evaluate how you do things. It has made me prioritize my health, my family & friends, and not take the ability to do things for granted. I'm not happy that RA is part of my life, but I am grateful that it's early enough that I have the chance to put the things that are actually important in my life first, rather than continuing to put these things aside for another time in favor of chasing career goal as hard as before. Even those have changed, instead of taking care of others, I'm choosing to make sure that my future is taken care of first.

I feel as those RA is truly a silent partner sitting on my shoulder, making me consider my choices more carefully. My choice right now is to dance with it, instead of constantly fight against it.

[keeta]

Good for you lovely. The walz is a good one .quick. quick . slow with more time on the slow .

Sounds like yiu.ve come to terms with it .be strong .gentle hugs x

[Hidden]

Thank you.

[AgedCrone]

Right you've written it all down, so do now get on with everything you had planned for "Later"! Don't wait for RA to let you do something.....just do it!

I was diagnosed just as I retired & all that planning for when I was no longer tied to a demanding job went out the window overnight!

It's all worked out OK, but the lifestyle I had planned needed physical strength & like you hands that worked.....so grab what you want to do NOW.

[LadyL0u]

Thank you for posting I have very similar thoughts (as I'm sure most folk on here will do). I am a photographer, and am really worried how bad things might get with my hands as they are giving me grief now (not to mention feet and eyes too...). It's hard getting your head round the 'new me', and attempting to let go of the 'old me', but the longer that fight, the more time we waste so am trying to accept things and deal with it accordingly. The fact that the goal posts keep changing position is an added complication but it is what it is... Yup, changing your priorities is definitely a big part of it. Health is EVERYTHING, (the much younger me really had no clue about that) so it's worth giving it the attention it greedily requires. We're all involved in our own wee 'RA dance', so it makes this wee oasis of a forum more special as at least we can share with others in the same situ - albeit some walzing, others two-stepping.... Thanks again for sharing

[rosie1928]

Hi Jess

Its a dance alright! I enjoyed reading your post. Happy Christmas to you!

Rosie