Appreciate this fourm

Just want to say thanks for all your stories and what your going through. It gives each one company to know that others are dealing with a lot of the same struggle3s. My son is having his Journey and as a Parent is hard to see them go through it, but knowing they know they are supported and that I have this fourm to draw from is so releaving. Being at the prime of his life finish University with a bachelor of Science in Computer Science but struggling as his health has dictated different and will be okay as his Rhuem and so forth figures out what works for the AS or what the Rheum may think it may be Reactive Arthritis. That would be better but still flags. I feel for him as he sees his younger brother 25 who has a carrer and and two kids and a wonder partener and moving forward. he will get there, just not quite there.. Starting out in this life of finding a good Job and so forth, being in a special relationship which he has and not knowing what is ahead is scary. It is so great to draw from the fourm as we all know unless you have walked the walk you don't understand. I myself have gone through Breast Cancer and a 12 yr survivor, and now watching my Son go through this. I thank God every day that he is with us and can give the us the strength t to endure and will. It makes you realize that being young is not always the case when it comes to health.

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  • You sound like a strong and supportive parent; your son sounds like he is a strong and determined young man - he'll get there with his strength and your support. I agree: this forum is such a great crutch for us all- excuse the pun 😁

  • He is strong and very much his own person. he has never been one to worry about what other people think of him or trying to fit into the crowd. That has saved him alotof stress in his life. Many times I would say to him, maybe walk by the mirror before you go out. Hoping he would notice the pant leg tucked in or sock over top of it. Like I say he is his own person. He has had to work hard as he has written expression so takes longer to get his thoughts organized on paper, and is a Audatory learner so if in University it was like a English course, the book would be put on Audio for him or his program in his computer would read it to him. So getting his degree was hard work.

  • The stories and questions on here is first thing I read in morning.Makes you feel so humble to hear about others problems. There are some strong people about

  • Yes there are some strong people about, but at the same time as we go through lifes challenges and pain we either choose to rise to it or let it control us. We all deal with things differently and it makes such a difference if we have a supportive environment. As a Care aide, a Breast Cancer Survivior, a Parent and a strong faith, I feel blessed that I have learned to take the positive in what may be and look for ways to grow., My mom has often said to me, you rise to the occasion, friends have often said you always try to bring the positive out of the situation. In my Sons case yes I hurt for him and want him to not have this, but we continue to let him know you are on a journey, reinforce how handsome he is and all the positives he has in his life like a wonderful sweetie who has been by his side. She is a keeper. As you mentioned in your comment, you feel better when you hear about a lot worse situations than what your going through. Once one knows what they have it is easier to take direction.

  • I think its great having you here . You are always so supportive to me and I am the same with my now 30 year old having spinal issues and joint pain. He had ME when he was 12. First young one to be properly diagnosed in the country and we have been lucky with all the help and support.

    It would be good if it was reactive as it can clear up for him. Maybe all the hard work he is doing is setting him off so he's lucky to have such a lovely supportive mum.

    I have my two boys, daughter and the two fiancees coming today for Sunday lunch. I was very sick Friday and ended up having a steroid in my butt and my knee drained and a steroid in it too.

    So .... We are going out for lunch instead!! Also we have no kitchen as I'm luckily getting a new one so that would have been hard with a camping stove and a microwave Lol!

    Hope your lad gets better soon. Drink loads of water !!love A x

    Ooh hands much better with the lavender oil thanks xxx

  • Thanks, appreciate knowing I have been supportive.

  • Has he had a diagnoses if it is the same as you have.

  • Wow Northside... That is a really heavy burden you bear. I am sorry for what you are going through, but know that you are always welcome here.

  • Part of being a Parent, or anyone who takes in the neg or positive energy around them. I was blessed with that trait and have learned to try and channel which this fourm is great, I many times sit down and write a poem or do a Adult colouring book. I Also am doing Essential Oils which have been great too. Exercise and spend time with special people like my Hubbyand my kids, grandkids when they are in town And focus on a project like sewing, but have to watch as I do have Arthritis in my lower back. Hoping Winter will leave soon as it is way overdue. You have a positive day

  • And you too!

  • Hugs to you for being such a supportive parent x

  • Thanks, have been told that many times, hope your day is going well and pain level decent.

  • thanks, hugs back

  • Hi 19northside2

    Sorry I don't know your son's story but from what you say here it sounds very similar to my own. I had graduated (Software Engineering) about 2 years prior to having a flu-like illness that, over a 3 months period, became an entire boby's worth of inflamed, aching joints, low-grade fever, extreme fatigue etc etc.

    I was initially diagnosed with Reactive Arthritis but over time this has changed to Rheumatoid Arthritis.

    I was 29 when it all kicked off.

    He's lucky to have a concerned mother - as am I.

    This was 18 years ago and I am now married with two children that I adore, and life goes on.

    He'll manage, one way or another and will learn to adjust to whatever life brings his way

    Fingers crossed that it turns out to be a self-limiting reactive form of the condition.

    Good luck


  • It was good that you had a couple of years with your degree to get established, he is struggling to get establish with the fatique and energy some days makes it hard to stay consistent in applying and your not feeling well in general. It has been better the last couple of months with the changes he has made. But first set of meds on half dose he ended up with blood in his stool. So not a good experience Thanks for replying.

  • Yeah you're so right there. I had a job that included very good benefits (such as long-term sick cover and health insurance) which have been a massive plus over the last 18 years and much needed. Although I'm pretty sure the unrelenting stress I was under at work played its part in triggering it in me, so who knows.

    Hopefully once he finds the correct meds (and possibly other lifestyle changes) and gets used to things he might find it easier to apply himself to applying, as it were.

    Without knowing what his skill set is could he maybe do some freelance web design / development or work for himself fixing computers, teaching IT (maybe to more mature folk πŸ˜€ or children doing GCSEs) or I'm sure there's other things he could do.

    Just a thought and something I considered for a time as it would allow more autonomy than working for an employer. I could never decide if it would be more or less stressful but to each their own.

  • His focus is in design in software, so would work on a team or on his own and write (code) for a program to run and be used by someone. He would probably be involved with running and testing it too. he not really into web design or the guy you call when we cannot figure out why a screen went blank He is not mechanical or does well in a setting like say a fast pace restaurant working. Is very focused on one thing and multi tasking can be challenging, so his field is good for him as he fits in loves strategy games and board games and puzzles etc. Very pleasant and social.

  • What are GCSEs with children

  • GCSEs are just a UK school exam that lots of children get extra tuition for. Having done a degree he would have more than enough knowledge to teach it and one on one teaching is a bit less stressful than teaching a class full!

    Sorry, should have thought that you may not be UK based.

  • That is ok, yes I am Canadian based, there are a few US based followers too. Thanks for clarify that

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