Vasculitis and depression - advice please....

[PhoebeO]

Hiya. My husband has been very poorly over the last ten months and this eventually led to him being diagnosed with Rheumatoid Vasculitis with RA joint disease. He is 49 years old. He was hospitalised in April and it was by chance that he was seen by an excellent Rheumatologist (who he is now under) who made the diagnosis.

He is now on lots of medication including methotrexate, prednisolone, sulfasalazine, hydroxychloroquine and gabapentin. The methotrexate will soon be changed to sub-cut.

Unfortunately, his nerves have been damaged and he has a dropped left foot and spasms in his right leg.

His moods have been up and down but this last week he has been very depressed. He is very lucky in that his employers have been fantastic and looked after him well, but he is now saying he doesn't want to work and he has never been like this before. I worry so much about him and this last ten months has been a nightmare. I try to do as much as I can for him but I really don't know what to do about the depression as he seems to be giving up. Could it be the medication? It is definitely worse in the mornings.

I would really appreciate any advice as I don't know what to do.

Thank you x

[hatshepsut]

Unfortunately, depression is very common with RD. It must be very difficult for you to cope with. There is help available. Have you got a good gp, if so it would be a good idea for your husband to discuss how he is feeling with them. There are antidepressants, and even better, counselling.

If he is reluctant to seek help, it is more difficult, but if you can encourage him to take the first step, he hopefully will get some relief.

It might also be a good idea for you to talk to a gp, because it sounds as if you are finding things difficult. Hardly surprising!

There's also the NRAS website, with lots of information. There may be a group near you. There is also a helpline, excellent for info and support.

I do hope things improve soon. Let us know how you are getting on. M x

[Hidden]

Hi jlo46,

Sorry to hear that your husband is so low at the moment. It is suggested that depression in people with rheumatoid arthritis is 3 times higher than that of the general population.

Hatshepsut offers some good suggestions in what they say. If your husband or you would like to call our helpline we are available Mon - Fri 9.30am - 4.30pm. Our freephone number is : 0800 298 7650

I have also put a link here to an article from our website about depression:

nras.org.uk/depression-and-...

I do hope he starts to feel a bit better soon,

Best wishes

Sally (Helpline - NRAS)

[PhoebeO in reply to Hidden]

Thank you both so much for your replies. I will call the helpline when it opens tomorrow. Unfortunately, our local group has closed but I will look into an alternate as I think it would be good for him.......and me. Thanks for the link Sally...I will have a read.

He saw the rheumatologist last friday who told him he didn't think the drugs were doing what they should and has suggested he has ritixumab. I think that brought him down even further. I am positive and always there for him. We have been together a long time and I love him lots!!!!!

Thanks again and I'll let you know how he gets on.

[Metal-legs]

I am sorry your husband is having a tough time. Changing meds can be a worry or it could be the start of a new chapter. He is very lucky you are so supportive and positive, it must be really hard for you. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship, I really hope things improve, you both deserve it. You can have Cognitive Behavioural therapy through the GP, which may help your husband to feel more optimistic about the future.

[dtech]

Hi jlo46 I know how it feels, as a bloke, to being hit by this illness. Going from being the 'man' of the family, doing all the rufty tufty things us blokes are supposed to do, to being (to you) a useless wreck. I agree with all of the above suggestions of getting help. But please tell him to stick with the medication, as it can take some time to work. There can be light at the end of the tunnel. I was really down when I first got diagnosed. Suggest he joins this site and he will get lots of support and advice. And he can always message us if he doesn't want to post on the main site. Wish him good luck from all of us.

[nomoreheels]

Hiya Jlo46. I'm late seeing your post as I was off line yesterday & whilst catching up I happened across dtech's reply. There's not much I can add to the good advice you've already had except for the fact I'm so pleased it sounds as though your h has a good Rheumy & as he's considering anti tnf thereapy he's fighting his corner & fully appreciates his struggles with the meds he's been given to date. Many people have recorded on here how they've turned the corner once starting this next step for treating RD & related problems so hope is there, good, positive hope.

What I would like to add though, if I may write through similar experience of a partner's depression, my thoughts for both of you would be to visit your GP together & ask if he thinks he would benefit from something to help his feelings of negativity at this moment be it prescriptive or talking to someone. I've been where you are just now there with my h, not RD related but other multiple illnesses brought on by stress some of which have eased with excellent help & medication. His had been building up some time & came to a head at an annual company medical from which he was sent straight to hospital. In his case the decision was made to relinquish his position but all in all was the best decision we made for his health & really was a no brainer. He's still not without health issues, others have usurped the ones he had in the past but, thankfully, no longer suffers depression. He has up & down days, we all do when we have chronic conditions though nowhere near as bad as the "dark time" when I felt so useless & incapable of helping him. I am able to support him now with his illnesses but felt helpless when he was locked into himself. I feel from the way you write about him you have a strong relationship which, believe me, is necessary in understanding his problems as it is a very difficult time for the both of you. The worst thing to deal with is when your partner will not or is unable to communicate feelings & although the ones he's speaking about may not be positive he is at least airing them & not holding them in which is even harder to cope with.

I do hope things turn around soon with help & with a loving partner by his side this will make it easier. He may not be appreciating that right now he will when he gets back on the right track.

If you need any more help or just someone to listen don't hesitate to pop on here. It helps to speak to people who are dissociated sometimes I found.

[PhoebeO]

Hiya. Thank you all so much for your replies and advice. I am so sorry to hear about your husband, nomoreheels, and can totally relate to what you've been through. Unfortunately, my hubby isn't very good at communicating and, according to his mum, has always been that way!!!!! He certainly wouldn't come on here asking for advice.

Although our GP and Rheumy are both excellent, no-one sits down with you and tells you how you might feel, what the side effects from the medication could be etc. etc. I didn't realise how many people were affected by RA and am so glad that I've found this site!!!!!

The problem I have is convincing him that he will not go back to the times when he was in hospital (which I think is what he's frightened of). His RA was triggered by an accident and it took 7 months to be correctly diagnosed, by which time he couldn't walk, was in a great deal of pain and had lost two stones in weight. It was a horrible time and I can't tell you how relieved I was when he was actually admitted. I finally felt we were moving in the right direction and still are.

Thank you so much for listening

xxx