do any of you get so fed up of feeling so low and tired and just think your family and friends don't understand what you are going through
I think that family , friends and work colleagues often dont understand unfortunately, the would only be capable if they were suffering from the same condition.. main problem in my opinion.. people cant see pain!!, a broken leg yes ,as a plaster cast, but sometimes we have no visible symptons to the untrained eye. and steriods etc can make us " look well"
Funny you should say that, i posted something fairly similar today as well about feeling so very low and depressed, i am also very lethargic as well. I am thinking maybe it's something to do with the weather. I hope you can lift your spirits tomorrow hun and that you will feel brighter. Nothing worse than having not just real grey skies above us and also emotional grey skies above us too. Regards
Yes I ;learned that lesson many years ago when I had a child with cancer. Stick with the friends and family who support you and give you understanding and dump the ones that suck your time and energy, you have little enough energy to spare so don't waste it on those who are insensitive. Once I decided to do that it was like a great release. It is about you, you don't need to be supporting and worrying about people who just don't or won't get it. Good luck I wish you all the best and hope the fog lifts for you.
I wonder if you gave some of them a copy of "The Spoon Theory" it might help?
RA is really difficult to understand, isn't it.
I always say it feels like a really bad dose of the flu, but it is treated with chemotherapy, and leave it at that, which has been known to raise a few eyebrows.
You may find the NRAS publication on emotions, relationships and sexuality helpful as it discusses how we feel the way we do and how that impacts on close family relationships etc. We can send you a free copy in the post just email firstname.lastname@example.org or call 0845 458 3969
Sadly people just don't grasp what RA's all about. Which is hard, so don't feel bad about feeling bad. I think we all feel like that from time to time, and you just have to hope that tomorrow is better. I've not really found a solution for the low days yet, apart from trying to get through them as quickly as possible. Hope you start to feel brighter soon. Pollyx
Yes, I have had to ignore the ones zapping my energy (I call them "Dementors" as in the Harry Potter films!) as they didn't give me any consideration, when my RA nosedived. Especially some people I was doing voluntary work with. They would ask me to get up from my seat and go get them drinks as they deemed themselves immobile! I dislike those situaions where some people are trying to compete with medical conditions and I never would do this. We all have problems and it isn't nice to try outdo people which was what was happening to me! So silly. I also had to phase a few people out who would expect me to finance them also. Unbelievable. I think some people are totally unaware of arthritis and of medical conditions if then don't have them or know anyone who does but it is not excuse for them to be rude or silly. I have been told by someone recently .... I would be good looking if I didn't have a limp. (can't repeat my reply!) Now I just shake my head or excuse myself and make sure I am not going to be in the company of Dementors! I just want to be treated normally. That's all. Not insulted or tried to be made to feel I am a freak.
Hi everyone after reading these amazing comments made me feel I wasn't alone...I've got a few family members who will never understand how poorly I am..and unfortunately for me one is my husband..he drains my energys at times..(of what little energy I have...) and sometimes when I have a few good days...it's like my illness is cured in his eyes...it's very stressful to live like this..so I can honestly understand how you feel...then there's my mother and father who are 70 both in good health support me everyday..listen to me moan..and when I'm down..they lift my spirits and make me feel happy...until people are walking in our shoes...battling these ongoing illnesses..they will never understand what we go through..wish you lots of luck..and big hugs...sometimes all we need is a bit of TLC..(tender loving care)
People seem to think RA is the same as osteo arthritis,although oa is just as painful (sometimes more so) they are such different problems, I too get some really "down" days & the hot weather has caused a lot of swelling/pain/bad temper,etc,Hubby just does not get it at all,& says I should "snap out of it"????? I wish!!But & its a big but, I feel I'm lucky to have been diagnosed (11 years ago) when there are lots of treatments available,I have seen people with really awful hands & feet,some really crippled,simply because they were diagnosed before it was discovered that cancer drugs also help ra,yes its a nasty
Illness,but help is out there,& this site is a godsend!!! Gillian