I've been quiet for a while as I let the methotrexate and enbrel soak in, and knock on wood, it's doing wonders!! It's only been a month, and I am feeling really good. I am also weaning off the predisone (I swear it makes me crankier than usual). Coming off the predisone has left my hands a bit sore. I think the methotrexate gives me a dull headache and leaves me more tired than usual. But I feel so good otherwise, it's easy to ignore. I had no idea how badly I was feeling until I realized how good it feels to feel normal!
So I have suddenly found myself with all the spoons I could possibly need. And I have been using them with abandon! Part of me wants to quell my manic self from running at 110%, but the rest of me says use it and love it while I've got it because who knows how long it will last. I have found the world full of ordinary miracles. I can walk to work in 13 minutes. I can bounce up three flights of stairs. I can hold a pen. I can focus on my work all day long. I can come home and play with kids and do stuff and not just crash on the couch and stare at the tv for hours. I feel much more like my old do-it-all self. WAHOO!
Isn't this how life should be? We hear it all the time: "You only live once." "Life's too short." But when it's literally "Do it today because tomorrow you might not be physically able to do so," life takes a very different color.
I am a different person than I was six months ago. What a difference is a life that is appreciated! I love going to work everyday. That is miraculous. I appreciate that I can walk down to work with a spring in my step. I can walk! I appreciate that I can climb stairs. I take the stairs wherever I can. I get up early and walk to work. I work late and walk home, inhaling fresh crisp spring air. I walk home and play with kids, swing babies, fold laundry. I've been known to run the dishwasher once or twice of late.
But even I have limits. This weekend I was tired. Today I relaxed, went for a long drive through the woods to the ocean just to breathe the cold salty air. My four year old, thrilled that winter is finally showing it's age and spring is on the way, is full of joy. "Mommy, I see GRASS! Spring is coming! Mommy, I see a BUSH! Spring is coming!! Mommy, when will I see FLOWERS?" Springtime is a miracle. The quiet joy in the car full of my family was a miracle. Life is a miracle, whatever shape, size, ability or limitations it comes with.
"When you wake up everyday, please don't throw your dreams away.Hold them close to your heart, 'Cause we're all a part of the ordinary miracle." - Sarah McLachlan
Welcome back! So happy to hear that things are improving for you and that you are feeling better. Spring is on it's way here too, albeit slowly but today the sun is so bright and I can see what tomorrow, the next day, the next month might bring...I feel like I'm emerging from my winter sleep! It could be snowing tomorrow but today it's all good!! x
I remember the day I told my Rheumy that I'd got my life back, 2 years ago. I could play with my grandson, I could sit at the dinner table without falling asleep in my soup.
Enjoy your life I'm not sure if we only have one but do all the things you want to do. Then every so often stop think and make memories of those special moments.
x
Lovely positive post Jen and pleased to hear that the Enbrel and Methotrexate is a great combination for you. It really is a wonderful feeling to have ones life back again and to be able to do all the things you perhaps thought you would never again do. I read with joy the very simple things in life that we so easily forget when we are not well but things we can still enjoy even on bad days. The onset of Spring is a miraculous spectacle of nature, the longer, warmer days, the lighter nights, the spring flowers. Yes, today with the sun shining brightly and the deep blue sky offering a promise of things to come it is good to be able to appreciate these things.
Jen, do enjoy what you now have but do remember to keep a little in reserve ... just in case Take care,
Lyn x
Hi Jen, so glad your feeling so well, I know its feels so wonderful to have your life back, make the most of it without overdoing things though as RA as quite a habit of creeping back upon you just when you least expect it to!
But on the other hand it's so hard not to want to do all those things you thought you would never do again, especially with you children, lovely!
Take care
mand xx
Hi Jen
It was lovely to read your post and I am so glad you have got your old self back again. I found the Methotrexate made me really tired at first but slowly I have got a little bit better each day. I had a good weekend of feeling less tired, then today I woke up to a bit of a set back, so yes do enjoy your new found energy while you can. Your description of the coming Spring was so nice and your children sound absolutely brilliant, and lucky to have you as their Mum. Look after yourself x Julie
Jen, so glad you have your life back and I really hope it contiues.
I too am due to start Enbrel soon with a combo off the methotrexate and the predisolone. I can wait to get off the pred so I am hoping the Enbrel allows me too.
And if it gives me just a little off my life back I will be over the moon!!
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