Today, day 37. Never was I worse than today, not even in the very beginning! I am craving a cigarette desperately. I spent the day drinking water, exercising, walking on the beach... nothing helped.
I see myself in the future and wonder how can I live without smoking. I know this may sound stupid, and you will tell me things like "cigarettes will kill you, they won't give you life". I know you will say that, because I'm saying the same to myself, but this is all irrational. Rational and irrational at the same time.
This is triggered by stress probably -- too many things to do, too many commitments and in this last month I practically didn't work because I was half-dazed worrying about myself and my struggle with smoking, but today in the morning, I realized I'm backward with a lot of things and there's deadlines, etc etc...
Any advices, my friends? Thank you!
ana luisa
Written by
anaamaral
9 Months Smoke Free
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Hey Ana Lusia anaamaral - sorry to read you are struggling but well done for posting, this is the main priority and aim of the community, to help when finding it stuff - life's daily stressors was one of my biggest fears when I stopped, but I actually handle stress so much better smoke free - what I done was stood in front of a mirror in my house talking to myself and how I was going to deal with a difficult / stressful situation - well, this was more for work stressors - home life, I would talk - it is so good to talk and don't be afraid to ask for help....
I realize your job is writing - maybe take some time out for yourself - explain to your family, friends and co-workers that you are doing one of the most difficult and best achievements of your life and that you are not going to be usual self but this is only short term..... wishing you strength
Thank you again, Roisin01. It's the first time I join a group and ask for help like this. I just realized how good it feels and how good it is that there are people listening and talking back.
My job isn't writing: I am a university teacher, that's what I do for a living, that's the problem. But writing is my life -- I write poetry.
I just drank some more water, got a teeny task done, one, at least. Tomorrow will do a few more. one day at a time...
It is a bit better, thank you, Roisin01! Right now I am in Lisbon, came for a conference, people were smoking around me -- and I was fine! Thank you again!!!
Oh hunnie I hope you’re feeling better now. My worst time is the evening, after tea, that’s when I’ve been pigging out (getting fat now lol) but now I’m growing all my own organic fruit and veg I’m kept busy with looking after them especially in this baking heat we are getting here in the UK.
Is there not something you’ve always wanted to do? Like a craft or similar? I have a stress ball and an e cig with 0% nicotine, I only use this when having a drink at weekends though but maybe it could help you just for now x
As I said to Hercu, Monica, thanks a lot! To have you guys here is a real help!
p.s. We, humans, have ruined the planet: a baking heat there in the UK, cold here in Portugal, where it used to be always warm...
Hoping you’ve survived Ana Luisa! I remember someone telling me in this forum about your brain rewiring and how the lack of nicotine plays many mind games, you won’t feel like this forever! I promise you, you won’t! This is purely the absence of nicotine in your system playing tricks with your thinking! It won’t last, you’ll feel stronger and so proud of yourself! Stay strong 💪 you have got this! No more smoking for you, you’ve had enough! Hugs x
For me, I think losing the ritual of smoking is harder on me than the addiction to tobacco. I did it for decades! The ecig has been what helped me get through the rough patches. But it doesn’t help everyone. I bought a few different models for my husband & he just can’t use them. Makes him cough and since he is an ironworker & works outside, he constantly loses, breaks them or they leak all over the place. Sending good vibes your way to get through this. Stay strong.
Thanks for the good vibes, bjay22! they arrived here in Portugal
The ecig -- I am trying not to use it, as I am without cigarettes now for 5 weeks and 1 day. I fear that if I start using them now, I'll start to smoke the others...
Hope things are bit better now and the sun will come out again! Knowing I’m not the only one who feels similar keeps me going. I feel lucky to have found this forum. I always found it hard to ask for help. A book which I find really good is How to Stop smoking by Gillian Riley. I strike through all my fav bits in pink neon highlighter!!
You are brave and you are right to come here for support. It isn’t easy to say how we feel, especially regarding addiction.
I know things are hard at this time, and I just wanted to let you know, it gets easier. There are no quick fixes, just time. You are doing everything right, stick with it.
I’m almost a year along, and I really have struggled at times. I even wanted to smoke recently! However, as time has passed, so has the control I allowed smoking to have. When a craving comes, I weigh out the reason I want one, and what I will lose if I have one.
Wishing you all the best and saying congratulations for getting this far x
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