Today is the day before my quit date and I'm really scared. Irrational and stupid very much so but it is the truth.
What on earth possessed me to think that I could do this again after so many failed attempts the last one being March of this year.
I'm ashamed to admit it but what happens if I fail? And because I feel this way does it mean that I've failed before I've even started.
I have a friend who needs to lose some weight and she is starting a diet tomorrow and we are supposed to be setting out together. Some friend I am when I am seriously considering backing out of our agreement. Perhaps it is true what they say that with friends like me you don't need enemies!!!
Did anyone else feel this way the day before or am I unique?
I have three days holiday from work and I am driving myself stark staring bonkers wondering how on earth I am going to get through the first day without spending half of my time outside smoking. I have plenty to do - reading, knitting and sorting stuff but the thought of going tomorrow without my lifeline to my sanity is just too much.
I don't even know why I'm posting this because when it comes down to it, it is up to me to be strong (even though I feel so weak). No one can quit for me and I can't sleep through the first 72 hours to make it easier.
You all seem so happy and contented in your quit but at this moment in time I feel so miserable and alone which is really, really stupid.
Going to post this now before I change my mind yet again and is this the addiction that is making me feel this way and if so, how do I rid myself of this terrible feeling of loss and loneliness?
Nearing 60 and just what someone to say there, there and kiss it better! Now that really is stupid, isn't it?