Running scared

Today is the day before my quit date and I'm really scared. Irrational and stupid very much so but it is the truth.

What on earth possessed me to think that I could do this again after so many failed attempts the last one being March of this year.

I'm ashamed to admit it but what happens if I fail? And because I feel this way does it mean that I've failed before I've even started.

I have a friend who needs to lose some weight and she is starting a diet tomorrow and we are supposed to be setting out together. Some friend I am when I am seriously considering backing out of our agreement. Perhaps it is true what they say that with friends like me you don't need enemies!!!

Did anyone else feel this way the day before or am I unique?

I have three days holiday from work and I am driving myself stark staring bonkers wondering how on earth I am going to get through the first day without spending half of my time outside smoking. I have plenty to do - reading, knitting and sorting stuff but the thought of going tomorrow without my lifeline to my sanity is just too much.

I don't even know why I'm posting this because when it comes down to it, it is up to me to be strong (even though I feel so weak). No one can quit for me and I can't sleep through the first 72 hours to make it easier.

You all seem so happy and contented in your quit but at this moment in time I feel so miserable and alone which is really, really stupid.

Going to post this now before I change my mind yet again and is this the addiction that is making me feel this way and if so, how do I rid myself of this terrible feeling of loss and loneliness?

Nearing 60 and just what someone to say there, there and kiss it better! Now that really is stupid, isn't it?

7 Replies

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  • Hey Buttons, it isn't stupid but I think you're getting yourself in a state because there's an official "start line" for your quit. Are you going to be using anything or is it cold turkey for you?

  • Daft idea

    Cold turkey which I now feel quite calm about but that could change at any minute!

  • I would have been the same as you if my quit was planned, but it wasn't lol - went from mentioning to my quit buddy that I wanted to stop to sticking a patch on my arm the next.

    But, calm down - it's normal to be afraid of it, but it's nowhere near as bad as you fear :)

  • If it's CT then remove the fear factor, and just stop. Why wait until tomorrow? It's giving your cigarettes an almost ceremonial exit and it's driving you mad into the bargain.

    I was fortunate because I got ill one weekend, didn't smoke for a day and thought I would see how I went because I had been thinking about quitting for a while due to increasing health issues. If I had set myself a quit date I would have felt the same as you I think.

    I quit cold turkey after being the smokiest person I knew, and that was 13 months ago now, thanks to this forum.

    Why not make your quit date mid-afternoon today? It doesn't need to be the start of a new week. As the saying goes, just do it! ;)

  • Logical?

    You're sooooooooooooo right!

    Going to, going to and now gone!!!:eek:

  • How are you getting on? :confused:

  • Hey Buttons that addiction has got you thinking backwards like it does to all of us :-) It's not your fault it's simply what this horrible disease does now the correct and logical way of thinking is :-

    Dont be scared of quitting it might make you a bit off colour and grumpy for a while.

    Be scared of not quitting it will make you dead for good.

    Don't walk away from smoking, run away kicking and screaming and never ever let it catch you again :)

    Good luck and remember however rough it gets it's better by miles than the alternative :)

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