I didn't introduce myself!!! Oh dear.
So I'm Nerfertiti. I have smoked since I was 22 years old. I'm turning 40 next year. I want to change some things about my life. Smoking is one of them. I've struggled with quitting plenty of times before but I really really enjoyed smoking. In the last few years, I have openly advocated for smoking. That's how badly I needed to smoke. I think that the odd pro-smoking stance was a result of feeling under immense pressure to stop and resenting that pressure.
Anyway, the last 30 days I've been living in a foreign country. Lots of drinking and smoking for me. BUT the brand I usually smoke isn't here. In the middle of a brand crisis, I get a revelation! I'm not addicted to cigarettes. I'm addicted to the nicotine in cigarettes. You would think I knew this before but frankly my brain hadn't really figured it out.
Since it's a nicotine addiction (and not me enjoying smoking), then I will not smoke again. And if ever I need nicotine, I better go for it directly like any other drug. After all, I don't want to be a drug addict without even knowing it.
I've read lots of posts and this site is really helpful. Thanks everybody!