Positive Gemma :D

Hi :)

After putting up with mopey sad me it's time for some positivity :D

(loving being able to use more smilies btw!!)

Today is 20 weeks since the smoke tinted glasses fell off. Well in about an hour or so anyway. Before that I was happy to smoke for the rest of my life, drowning in denial about the cost, smell, my health and so on. Tuesday is 20 weeks since I stopped being stinky me and became fresh smelling me, how good is that?

Anyway I got my shock - nothing to do with health (never thought about that really - young and stupid :o) just realising how foul smoking smelled, tasted and therefore made me smell. Up to that point I was certain that you could only smell smoke on me when I'd just put one out - err yeah :o Spent the next 2 and a bit days hating that I smoked, more than that hating that I *had* to smoke, no choice, no "because I like it" or any of that - smoke or be a growly grumpy b**ch, end of. Not for the first time it made me cry (yeah I'm soppy like that) and thanks to the lovely girl I share an office with brought forward my plan to quit from "New Year or NSD" to tomorrow. Good really 'cos if she hadn't I'd probably have deicded it's too hard and still be stinky Gem.

But the positive stuff 'cos it's flipping time for it. :p

Since 11/12/12 I:

*have not* smoked - not even a little puff.

*will not* smoke again - ever.

Hardly crave a cigarette any more. (e-cig yes, real cig no)

Can't remember what cigarettes taste like

Can't remember what smoking feels like

Don't want to remember the above

Am in the second longest quit of my life, which will be the last one I have to do.

Have saved £1,100, not smoked 2,749 fags, extended my life by 11 days, 10 hours and 54 minutes. All by not doing something!!

I feel fitter, healthier, can taste and smell properly, have lost the cough I "didn't have" before and look younger!!

Am loving it. Used to be paranoid about smelling and used a lot of sprays and hand gel to "not smell" which while i thought it worked, smelling smokers who do the same thing has convinced me otherwise. Not always having to have gum in my mouth to cover up my fagbreath is fab too, and the amount of extra stuff I used to lug about for my habit? Stupid!! Lighters, spare lighters, ashtrays, fags blah blah. Don't have to bother now YAY :cool: it really is liberating!!

But this is not an easy quit for me, last one was relatively but stupid me blew that and am still stuck on the e-cig - not beating myself up about that though 'cos I don't smoke which is the important thing.

So to get off that I'm going to stop using it indoors at work - apparently I use it more than I think :o so will go outside when I need it, and up to my room or something at home - when I'm out and about I'll join the smokers in Leper's Corner. Having to get off my bum and go out will stop me using it so much, or that's the plan. ;) It should wean me off it anyway!!

It worked last night, was out with the girls from work and the one time I needed some e-cig went out with the smokers when they had their umpteenth smoke of the night - and I used to smoke that much, eepers :eek:

Then when I feel ready will load up on full strength patches, gum, Extra and a new Tangle and go for gold this time :D Like a sequel to my original quit in a way!!

Huge thank you to everyone on here for helping me - definitely couldn't have done it without you guys - you're lifesavers!!

xxx

40 Replies

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  • You should be very chuffed with yourself, though not sure how anyone can like an e-cig :p

    Just be careful, when you go into your second stage of quitting, not to push things. When your on a high, it can feel like your invincible and if you fall, even stumble a teensy wee bit, it can bring everything crashing down. So be cautious in the beginning, and you'll continue doing fabulously well - ie don't bin the e-cig just yet :D On my many times quitting, it's not adequately protecting myself that's duffed things up for me.

  • You should be very chuffed with yourself, though not sure how anyone can like an e-cig :p

    Oh I am :D

    Honestly never thought I'd be able to quit - like smoking was part of who I was but heck here i am :D

    Oooh and I don't like the e-cig, it was just buying that or Marlboro Lights again and this is the lesser of 2 evils!!

    Just be careful, when you go into your second stage of quitting, not to push things. When your on a high, it can feel like your invincible and if you fall, even stumble a teensy wee bit, it can bring everything crashing down. So be cautious in the beginning, and you'll continue doing fabulously well - ie don't bin the e-cig just yet :D On my many times quitting, it's not adequately protecting myself that's duffed things up for me.

    Oh I know what you mean and I really will be careful!!

    Am going to keep the e-cig as a backup for in case I feel like I'm going to fail ;)

    Good luck to you as well, I'm sure you're going to be fine!!

  • Oooh and I don't like the e-cig, it was just buying that or Marlboro Lights again and this is the lesser of 2 evils!!

    I'm following you. They are meant to be healthier for you, with nothing being burnt, etc. I just thought they tasted horrible :D Though to be fair, marly lights are pretty bad too :P Nice strong rollies were my poison.

    Thanks for the words of encouragement, I'm getting a motivational boost from that, and from how well you've done :)

  • There she is ;)

    It's great to see you back on form, my darling. You MUST remember to tell yourself/write down just how far you've come over the last twenty weeks. Sometimes we can lose sight of how well we're doing and only focus on what we have left to do. :o

    I know that you'll be absolutely fine and if you managed last night with barely a puff of your e-cig, I think the idea of forcing yourself outside is a good one. That's exactly how I treated it when I bought mine. Just like a filthy stinking cigarette. If I was happy to smoke outside, I should also be happy to "vape" outside. Lol. It's definately helped to keep my away from mine, as I usually can't be bothered!! :)

    Glad you're feeling more positive today *high fives* xxx

  • I'm following you. They are meant to be healthier for you, with nothing being burnt, etc. I just thought they tasted horrible :D Though to be fair, marly lights are pretty bad too :P Nice strong rollies were my poison.

    Lol, they were pretty disgusting, about all I could stand to smoke though :rolleyes:

    Anyone sensible would have decided to quit when you didn't like the taste of fags but not me, oh no :mad:

    Never got into rollies 'cos I couldn't roll to save my life.

    Thanks for the words of encouragement, I'm getting a motivational boost from that, and from how well you've done :)

    Glad i helped!!

    Know a lot of people say it but if I can stop anyone can!!

  • You will get there Gemma :p

    Remember you don't have to depend on any of this shizzle.Your body is the culmination of millions of years of careful evolution but nowhere in your DNA is any account taken of coping with blasts of poisonous smoke or poisonous insecticide,20 times a day or more,which is what nicotine is.

    My friend in Bath sucked like a fury on her Ecig until last week,having quit in September last year,I passed her in a corridor and there is the unmistakeable stink of ciggies :mad: Yes she has gone back to the cancer sticks.

    Just stay ahead of the cigs Gem,as long as you are not ever on them again then you are winning XX

    You're right Max :)

    Sorry about your friend - I guess that's the danger of using the e-cig for a long time, it can get you back into the real ones again.

    Am not going to smoke a real fag again, no way!!

    Have had a nice shopping trip again this afternoon buying free clothes with money I would have spent on killing myself - do I want to go back to that? No chance!! xx

  • There she is ;)

    It's great to see you back on form, my darling. You MUST remember to tell yourself/write down just how far you've come over the last twenty weeks. Sometimes we can lose sight of how well we're doing and only focus on what we have left to do. :o

    I know that you'll be absolutely fine and if you managed last night with barely a puff of your e-cig, I think the idea of forcing yourself outside is a good one. That's exactly how I treated it when I bought mine. Just like a filthy stinking cigarette. If I was happy to smoke outside, I should also be happy to "vape" outside. Lol. It's definately helped to keep my away from mine, as I usually can't be bothered!! :)

    Glad you're feeling more positive today *high fives* xxx

    Yay :cool:

    It's way too easy to spend time beating yourself up isn't it? And you're right you do lose sight of how flipping brilliant it is to be a non-smoker and free of all the rubbish to do with smoking!!

    Only "needed" to go out last night quite late on - might have been more to do with the wine than anything else TBH but it reminded me in a way why I quit - especially standing near smokers :eek:

    And I wasn't even slightly tempted to have a proper smoke :D

    Lol, it's sunny I've bought 2 new tops and a pair of boots - what's not to be positive about?

    *High fives back* xxx

  • Soooo chuffed to see you back to yourself Gem - I've missed the little ray of sunshine from the top half of the county! 20 weeks is just fantastic - you've come soooooo far! I think we ought to have a blow out on the Penthouse Express when you hit the half a year (26 weeks' mark) - you pick somewhere special! Glad to see you've hit the retail therapy, always a good plan! Just keep doing what you're doing hon and yeah, going out for your e-cig should make it easier to reduce - you'll have to really want it!:D

    Yay :cool: I'm definitely back to myself!!

    Much happier than I was 20 weeks back 'cos it really upset me to still be smoking at that point.

    Actually I forgot how long it had been, had to look it up - but I got sick of smoking that Saturday afternoon and quit the next Tuesday morning!! And if you think I'm beating myself up now you should have seen me back then :(

    It already seems so long ago - lol weird but it feels odd now that I ever was a smoker, like that was a totally different girl somehow :confused:

    Ooh somewhere special for the Penthouse to celebrate would be lovely, will have to get my thinkinghead on, if I can find it :p

    Apparently, I tend to pick the e-cig up at work (probably at home too, lol) and puff on it a bit then put it down, so hopefully making myself go out will make me think more - especially if i leave it in my bag not on my desk or in my lap!!

  • It's lovely to hear you sounding so positive. 20 weeks is brilliant :) x

    Thanks Vicki :)

    Can't believe that I'm nearly 20 weeks smoke free (actually forgot and thought it was 19, lol) but it's good to have beaten that half of it.

    Didn't plan to but drank more than usual last night and again only went to Leper's Corner once, and the smell of smoke was not even slightly tempting even "relaxed". It is definitely helping going out there rather than nipping to the loo for a puff.

    Haven't decided if I'm going to go to Leper's Corner at work or just somewhere outside but it should stop me using the e-cig like a dummy.

  • Gemma

    You do whatever makes you feel best :D

    Take the pressure off yourself.;)

    Just remember

    Real fags are a NONO ok? xx

    Yes, I'm going to be a bit nicer to myself 'cos I've really beaten myself up lately!! Then when I feel strong enough and have recovered a bit will set a date and quit the e-cig too. :)

    Ooh and my smoking days are well over - not going to go back there!!

    Bought a hoodie, t shirt and pair of Ugg style boots yesterday with the money I would have spent on fags - so they're free and I'm healthy, what's not to love? xx

  • I might be talking total c**p here, it wouldn't be the first time :p but don't feel i get anything out of the e-cig apart from the action of "smoking" it.

    Am saying that because I could sit and puff on it all day, (I'm not though) whereas if I smoked 3 fags straight off it made me feel sick, and it doesn't give me the nicotine rush that fags did - and I smoked lights for the last year.

    So it's much more of a mental thing than an addiction one, my patch takes care of that bit.

    Does that make sense or have i gone round the loop?

  • You seem to be fixated on the smoking action Gemma,the hand to mouth thing.Perhaps it is this,that you need to work on-the notion and the action of raising the 'cig' to and from your mouth.Doesn't sound like you crave the nicotine at all love x

    That's what I was thinking really :)

    Odd isn't it?

    AM definitely going to beat it though!! x

  • I think it is worth looking at-after all you 'smoked' Post it notes rolled up a fake ciggies during your early quit.You have still got the hand-mouth action very active as a habit sweetheart! :rolleyes:I think that may be the habit you still have to break?

    Think that's it Max, and yes the post it notes zapped my craving like magic so it's the hand to mouth thing!!

    *Hops on eBay to buy a Tangle*

    That helped me before!!

    Am thinking I need one of them and industrial quantities of Wrigley's Extra and I'll be free *laughs maniacally*

    Edit: that was cheaper than the one I got in town, yay for eBay :D

  • Maybe we should all send you a stress toy so you have a range to choose from!:D Plus a variety of chewing gum!

    Lol, that's a good idea :p

    I love chewing gum anyway, but have got out of the habit since I quit 'cos I didn't "need" it so much. Will stock up tomorrow!!

  • Keeping your hands busy will be helpful as well, medicine balls, worry beads, stress-putty are all helpful things. Taking note of when you feel the compulsion and dealing with any underlying issues will be very helpful too. For instance, being overly excited is a smoking trigger for me, so I would take slow breaths and count down from ten when I noticed that state. Sometimes, though, it can be a case of you just being hungry or thirsty, which is even easier to sort out :D

  • Keeping your hands busy will be helpful as well, medicine balls, worry beads, stress-putty are all helpful things. Taking note of when you feel the compulsion and dealing with any underlying issues will be very helpful too. For instance, being overly excited is a smoking trigger for me, so I would take slow breaths and count down from ten when I noticed that state. Sometimes, though, it can be a case of you just being hungry or thirsty, which is even easier to sort out :D

    It definitely helped me when I quit the real fags, so I've bought another Tangle, those things are fab :D

    I get craves mostly when I'm bored or stressed, drinking doesn't seem to affect me any more luckily!!

    I am still a nicotine addict :( but think it's more the hand to mouth and dummy thing than the "vaping" (stupid word, lol) if that makes sense?

    Water's good for nuking craves though, often it kills my cravings :)

  • Lol, well I'm definitely still addicted to the nicotine :(

    Didn't put my patch on this morning - was in a bit of a rush and forgot but did have one in my bag. Anyway by the time i got here I was properly wound up :o

    It's on now though and my urge to kill is decreasing :p

    Have been out to Leper's Corner for the first time in ages, *not* for a real one!! So let's see how today goes. :cool:

  • If you have to murder someone, go for one of your bosses, that way you get the satisfaction, the love of your co-workers and possibly a promotion :D In a way it was probs a good thing to have forgotten your patch, because now you know, and you can work out a plan for slowly reducing the nicotine.

  • If you have to murder someone, go for one of your bosses, that way you get the satisfaction, the love of your co-workers and possibly a promotion :D In a way it was probs a good thing to have forgotten your patch, because now you know, and you can work out a plan for slowly reducing the nicotine.

    Now there's a good plan *giggles evilly*

    You're right though, it's shown me I've still got a way to go :/ So I've got to go on the proper programme to get myself free.

    Unless someone's got a time machine? Then I can find 13 year old me and slap that fag out of my hand :p

  • If you want, then you'll do it :) You seem like a very determined woman. As for the time machine, I could loan you one, but then if you used it and stopped yourself smoking, then you wouldn't be on this forum and I wouldn't have been able to loan you the time machine :D

  • If you want, then you'll do it :) You seem like a very determined woman. As for the time machine, I could loan you one, but then if you used it and stopped yourself smoking, then you wouldn't be on this forum and I wouldn't have been able to loan you the time machine :D

    I am when I put my mind to it!!

    Lol, you're right about the time machine, quite a paradox that :eek: would still like 29 year old me to have a chat to 13 year old me and convince myself smoking isn't cool.

  • I know what you mean, but in my case, my younger self would have told me to eff off :(

  • I know what you mean, but in my case, my younger self would have told me to eff off :(

    Lol, well you said earlier that I'm a determined woman - I always have been so teenage Gemma would probably tell me to get stuffed :p

  • Lol, well you said earlier that I'm a determined woman - I always have been so teenage Gemma would probably tell me to get stuffed :p

    It would still be good to give em a clout round the ear :D

  • It would still be good to give em a clout round the ear :D

    Lol, yes it would!!

    And I thought I was so cool to 1) be smoking and 2) do it in secret. What a flipping idiot I was :mad::mad:

    Anyway away from the beating myself up 'cos there's nothing I can do about that now!!

    Went into our summerhouse at home at the weekend, and it's where I used to go and smoke. Was pretty nice actually, had a little camping heater in there for the winter and what have you - and it seemed so odd that it used to be my smokey hole. It's been so long now that it seems really weird that I used to smoke, actually made me laugh - yes I'm a bit weird. :p

    Am also a bit immature which I think is why I've had a tough time quitting - trying to kill my inner teenager :p

  • I know the feelings exactly. I get nostalgic when I walk through a particular park - we used to bunk off school and go and drink and smoke there. It makes me smile as much as it makes me cringe. As stupid as it all was, there were some good times. Besides, mistakes are important or you never learn anything, and teenage me never learned anything until I fell flat on my face a few times :D

  • 5 past 9, and am already thinking of ways to commit murder - this is going to be fun :p

  • Already???:eek::eek::eek: Crumbs!!! Make sure you cover your tracks well, I am NOT having a fellow Kernow Kwitter arrested! Best you incite someone else to commit the actual crime, you can just be the mastermind in the background.:D

    Yeah scary isn't it?

    Had some e-cig before breakfast, and hated myself for doing it so am trying to see how far I can go.

    Might give in and have some gum in a mo :)

    *Wonders who she can get to kill people for her*

  • Yeah scary isn't it?

    Had some e-cig before breakfast, and hated myself for doing it so am trying to see how far I can go.

    Might give in and have some gum in a mo :)

    *Wonders who she can get to kill people for her*

    I'll do it, I'll do it!! :D

    Gotta love a good killing spree ;) xxx

  • I'll do it, I'll do it!! :D

    Gotta love a good killing spree ;) xxx

    Sounds good, so I'll give you *the list* and you can go round bumping them all off *grins evilly* xxx

  • If you do murder someone Gemma,tip me off first so I can score brownie points with the Chief :D plus i can advise you as to what to say when arrested,to get away with it :p

    Can't you teach me to not get caught in the furst place? Please?

    The bad news is I've given in and am chewing Nicorette - first bit I've had today though

    The good news it my brain's switched back on. :D

  • Can't you teach me to not get caught in the furst place? Please?

    The bad news is I've given in and am chewing Nicorette - first bit I've had today though

    The good news it my brain's switched back on. :D

    Someone at work (a bit of a twonk if I'm honest) decided to comment on my recent Facebook status about not having had nicotine in my system for 4 days (as at Saturday). His words were "so, you've finally quit smoking properly?"

    Not "well done for the past nine weeks of hard work" or "that's great that you've quit and have now ALSO stopped relying on an aid to help".

    As you may have guessed, this guy is a non-smoker and always has been. He has absolutely no idea and, instead of congratulating me on my work so far, he wanted to make it clear that, for the past nine weeks, I haven't been quit "properly".

    I think a massive thing about quitting, and something I've had to battle against myself, is the thought that we're "cheating" by using an aid to help us.

    Gemma, the only stat on any quit smoking app that would be false in your case is the nicotine levels (which are still very low compared to a smoker). your lungs and heart are becoming stronger on a daily basis, you have more money and you're feeling all of the usual benefits just like the rest of us.

    Don't forget to BE PROUD OF YOURSELF :D You're doing great. And just think of the worst that might happen if you struggle to kick the nicotine for a while ... not a great deal hun. It isn't particularly harmful and YOU WILL beat it. Just don't forget that you are a non-smoker. You're a "vapor" for now ;)

  • there isn't any 'bad news' Gemma :) you have stopped inhaling great blasts of concentrated poisonous smoke-that took willpower and discipline and you have done it.Yay for you!!!:D

    So you have the nicotine thing still hanging around your neck,that will not last forever,more a nuisance than a threat to your life as is smoking.We will get that monkey off your shoulders,and grind it into the dust,all in good time don't get mad with yourself X

    Aw thanks Max :)

    Am thinking you can tell how much I'm craving by how much I'm beating myself up, lol. Tend to hate myself for craving, which is stupid *but* I'm craving the e-cig not a real one so maybe I should post in the "other forms of tobacco" board for e-cig stuff?

    Don't want new quitters to panic 'cos I'm talking about craves and stuff 20 weeks exactly (which today is YAY) after my first smoke free day :eek: x

  • Someone at work (a bit of a twonk if I'm honest) decided to comment on my recent Facebook status about not having had nicotine in my system for 4 days (as at Saturday). His words were "so, you've finally quit smoking properly?"

    Not "well done for the past nine weeks of hard work" or "that's great that you've quit and have now ALSO stopped relying on an aid to help".

    As you may have guessed, this guy is a non-smoker and always has been. He has absolutely no idea and, instead of congratulating me on my work so far, he wanted to make it clear that, for the past nine weeks, I haven't been quit "properly".

    Oh wow what an idiot!!

    You quit smoking properly when you stubbed your last fag out - and I know exactly how hard you've fought to stay smoke free so he's talking out of his bum!!

    Never-smokers don't seem to get it, but we know you've done absolutely fab hun!!

    I think a massive thing about quitting, and something I've had to battle against myself, is the thought that we're "cheating" by using an aid to help us.

    Gemma, the only stat on any quit smoking app that would be false in your case is the nicotine levels (which are still very low compared to a smoker). your lungs and heart are becoming stronger on a daily basis, you have more money and you're feeling all of the usual benefits just like the rest of us.

    Don't forget to BE PROUD OF YOURSELF :D You're doing great. And just think of the worst that might happen if you struggle to kick the nicotine for a while ... not a great deal hun. It isn't particularly harmful and YOU WILL beat it. Just don't forget that you are a non-smoker. You're a "vapor" for now ;)

    Aww thanks :)

    I have to admit (even though I told you not to feel like this) that using the e-cig has at times made me feel a bit of a fraud even though rationally I know I'm not!!

    You're right, my body must love me for stopping inhaling 20+ a day's worth of fag smoke (it scared me that I'd lost control of my smoking - i used to be a 10 a day girl but the last year it went up and up :S)

    But yes, if I struggle with the addiction bit it's not the end of the world :)

  • Yay

    Positive, happy Gemma is definitely here :D

    have been much lighter on the e-cig than usual and am sure I can beat this soon!! And my Tangle's been posted so I'm nearly all set :cool::cool:

    Ooh and I've just bought some running shoes :eek:

  • Hiya Gemma, I find myself unsure of how to say what I want to say, but here goes.

    Gemma, you are one of the most sensible and level headed posters on here currently. You give excellent, pragmatic but compassionate advice. From the things that you say I know you understand the habit side of smoking.

    I hesitate to give someone as clear sighted as you advice but I wish you would relax about your e-cig.

    You should trust your innate desire to be free to sort it out for you. I think the more attention and therefore thought you give it, the harder it will be for you.

    Just keep posting your hatred of the addiction on here on that will do the rest for you love

    I mean no offence

    Molly x

  • Hiya Gemma, I find myself unsure of how to say what I want to say, but here goes.

    Gemma, you are one of the most sensible and level headed posters on here currently. You give excellent, pragmatic but compassionate advice. From the things that you say I know you understand the habit side of smoking.

    I hesitate to give someone as clear sighted as you advice but I wish you would relax about your e-cig.

    You should trust your innate desire to be free to sort it out for you. I think the more attention and therefore thought you give it, the harder it will be for you.

    Just keep posting your hatred of the addiction on here on that will do the rest for you love

    I mean no offence

    Molly x

    A great piece of advice :)

    Well done Gemma!! You seem much happier and more positive than you have done in the last few days :) Running shoes are a great idea and I'm sure the exercise will make you feel great! Xxx

  • Sarah, would you please have a look at the music thread, Gemma is making my head hurt!!

  • Hiya Gemma, I find myself unsure of how to say what I want to say, but here goes.

    Gemma, you are one of the most sensible and level headed posters on here currently. You give excellent, pragmatic but compassionate advice. From the things that you say I know you understand the habit side of smoking.

    I hesitate to give someone as clear sighted as you advice but I wish you would relax about your e-cig.

    You should trust your innate desire to be free to sort it out for you. I think the more attention and therefore thought you give it, the harder it will be for you.

    Just keep posting your hatred of the addiction on here on that will do the rest for you love

    I mean no offence

    Molly x

    Hi Molly :)

    Thanks, that's really nice!! I'd never take offence on anything you say and thank you!!

    Know I should relax a bit but basically I want to be free as soon as I can - I guess using the e-cig reminds me too much of smoking, wouldn't be so bothered if it was NRT gum or something :)

    Know it doesn't make sense in a way, lol - and I'm na expert in beating myself up!! xx

  • A great piece of advice :)

    Well done Gemma!! You seem much happier and more positive than you have done in the last few days :) Running shoes are a great idea and I'm sure the exercise will make you feel great! Xxx

    Thanks :D

    I'm loads happier, think it's because I've been using my e-cig when I need it not when i want it, so I feel like i'm making progress :D

    And heck, I might even get properly fit!! We'll see, lol xxx

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