Today is day 23 for me. Strangest thing... I woke up tasting a ciggie in my mouth! There are no ciggies in the house, so its not as if I smoked during the night without knowing it. I brushed my teeth, had coffee, had breakfast, nothing took the taste away! I took one of hubbies chappies, and it seemed to do the trick for the taste. Still having heart palpitations though.
Luckily I am not allowed to drive or walk further than 1km, otherwise Id have been long gone to the shop for siggies. I really hope this gets better? Today I have the feeling of I don't want to quit. Why should I? I showed hubbie some motivational articles about people who did not quit and died a long horrible death. It helped him, but not me. I still feel like I will die one day anyway, might even be in a car accident or something. And if I get lung cancer or something horrible, then I will commit suicide so that my family does not have to go through it and end up with large debts. I know I sound very selfish and like a horrible person, but that is how I feel today.
Cant even have my daily walk outside today as it is raining and I dont want to get sick again... I am as miserable as the weather today...
Edit: just saw the heading was wrong and I can't fix it.