The 'friend' called Nic!

How do you feel about a friend who has to go everywhere with you? Not only does he tag along all the time, but since he is so offensive and vulgar, you become unwelcome when with him. He has a peculiar smell that sticks to you wherever you go. Others think both of you stink.

He controls you totally. It could be rainy or smowing, he wants you to come to the shop and pick him up. Sometimes, when you are out at the pub or having dinner out he wants you to pop outside with him. Since he calls all the shots in your life, you go. Sometimes your friend doesn't like your choice of fashion or that new furniture isnt very comfy for him so instead of telling you quietly, he burns holes in it. If you were unlucky and didn't notice, it could have been the house!

He gets pretty expensive to support. Not only is his knack of property destruction costly, but you must pay to keep him with you. In fact, he will cost you thousands of pounds over your lifetime. And you can count on one thing, he will never pay you a penny in return.

When out you watch others playing vigorous activities and having lots of fun doing them. But your friend won't let you. He doesn't believe in physical activity. So he kind of sits on your chest and makes it difficult for you to breathe. Now you don't want to go off and play with other people when you can't breathe, do you? So every chance he gets he makes you sick. He helps you catch colds and flu. Not just by running out in the middle of the lousy weather to pick him up at the shop. He is more creative than that. He carries thousands of poisons with him which he constantly blows in your face. When you inhale some of them, they wipe out cilia in your lungs which would have helped you prevent these diseases.

But colds and flu are just his form of child's play. He especially likes diseases that slowly cripple you—like emphysema. He considers this disease great. Once he gets you to have this, you will give up all your other friends, family, career goals, activities—everything. You will just sit home and nurture him, telling him what a great friend he is while you desperately gasp for air hoping the ozygen bottle doesn't explode whilst you smoke.

But eventually your friend bores of you. Instead of letting you go your separate ways, he decides to kill you. He has a wonderful ****nal of weapons behind him. In fact, he has been plotting your death since the day you met him. He picked all the top killers in society and did everything in his power to ensure you would get one of them. He overworked your heart and lungs. He clogged up the arteries to your heart, brain, and every other part of your body. In case you were too strong to succumb to this, he constantly exposed you to cancer causing agents. He knew he would get you sooner or later.

Read a similar article sometime ago and managed to find it again, I have changed it around alot due to copyright but the idea is the same.

My mantra is cigarettes are not my friend as friends do not harm me or make me want to self harm. N.O.P.E- not one puff ever! :D:D

*Beating the nasty Nicodemon with the large baton borrowed from Max*

11 Replies

  • So true.:eek:

  • That's a fab post Trea, and it sums up exactly how Nic works.

    The evil stinky b***ard

  • Do you know Tef, I really don't know, everyone refers to 'it' as him when giving 'it' a personna,

    Its like on herre, I get confused with the user names (well some) as to who is male or female somtimes, not always good if you recommend somone paints their nails to kill a crave and they happen to be a guy:D

  • Why is this evil always a bloke?

    *Bites her tongue* :p

  • Why is this evil always a bloke?

    And why is he called Nic



  • And why is he called Nic



    If we were on a forum for addiction to a well known cough mixture I am sure we would call it 'Benodemon'

    Nic O'Teen is a bloke

    there just isn't any debate about that :D

    The scummiest piece of faeces ever to cross our paths,he is a bloke.:mad:

    was portrayed as a bloke when I was younger as Teflon posted.

    (PS Max, why wont my coloured font work?? Any ideas?)

  • That's good kat, like that one

  • thank you Max I knew you would know.

    that is a blinking long way of doing it, I expected some drop down choice bar. Good I can play with that too now:D:D:D xx

  • Another really good thread from 2008 on The Nicodemon is:

    Worth a read :)

  • I like the bit about laying the egg, sort of puts the NOPE into force, explains why, thanks for sharing Tal, Hows your day been today?

  • I like the bit about laying the egg

    Me too:D:D

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