Just a quick list at some alternatives to smoking.
Rather than smoke, you could...
[*]Make wild, passionate love
[*]Eat a carrot
[*]Apply online for a new job
[*]Brush your teeth - backwards
[*]Work on being at two places at once
[*]Spill salt and toss some over your shoulder
[*]Straighten pictures on the wall that have become uneven
[*]Review your permanent record and purge the negative stuff
[*]Write a novel
[*]Search the skies for unknown asteroids … before they hit the Earth
[*]Browse your high school yearbook
[*]Mow the lawn
[*]Mow the neighbor's lawn
[*]Come to terms with your ex
[*]Bake a lemon merangue pie
[*]Review the statistics on drunk driving fatalities in your town
[*]Assume the position and do twenty-five pushups
[*]Find out whether you can still become a Druid
[*]Donate your wardrobe to charity and start assembling your "fat" clothes
[*]Make a wish up on a star
[*]Remember it makes no difference who you are
[*]Sing a protest song
[*]Have a cup of Jello. There's always room for Jello.
[*]Yell at the kids to get off of your lawn.
[*]Take up knitting.
And that's just for starters.
Don't tell ME you don't know what else to do when you want to smoke.