What am I scared of??

[nsd_user663_52859]

So I want to quit I need to quit and I will quit but where do I start?

What am I worried about? Not fitting in? Failing? Being healthier? Admitting I was wrong? What????

A health scare and fear of the dreaded c word and I still am letting the thoughts enter my head that say you can't do this you fail at everything you try you give up to easily your not committed enough to anything you are hopeless. What am I doing?? Why am I telling myself this?? I can honestly say I have had less than half the amount of smokes today than I would normally have had but every time I tell myself this is the last one something triggers in my head and I freak out. I feel like I might loose control if I quit but loose control of what?? The thing that sits forward most in my mind is my last quit attempt I lost my mind over a iced coffee and after 5 days and I am scared of being that person forever even though I know in my rational mind I won't.

How do I start to believe I can do this??

[nsd_user663_20558]

Sears, so many things to answer here I'm not quite sure where to begin.

First of all, like Karri says, don't punish yourself before you've even begun! The fact that you are here and wanting to quit is a huge step. Try congratulating yourself instead!

Don't fear failure. If you smoke, well, you just try again. The quitting gestapo aren't going to come around and shoot you if you fall off the wagon. Most of us on here have taken a few attempts to find our feet. What have you got to lose by trying?

Second, you worry about losing control. Again, I think you should turn this on its head. Stopping smoking is absolutely about REGAINING control over your life and your health. Think about it: this stupid bloody plant is causing you so much misery, dictating to you, and by the sounds of it destroying your self esteem. How very dare it!!! Time to kick it into touch!

I think at the outset we're all pretty scared of managing daily life without our constant companion, the cigarette. And I used to be the same as you, practically as soon as I extinguished the last cigarette I'd start panicking about 'forever' - and then I'd work myself up into such a stew that I'd have to smoke again. But you don't need to think about forever: you just need to choose not to smoke TODAY, and let tomorrow take care of itself. If today is too stressful, just make the decision not to smoke for the next hour. Then when the next hour arrives, make the same choice. You will be amazed how the hours and days tick by, and with every day you will find your confidence growing.

The other thing I will say again is this: you have built up a bunch of subconscious associations with smoking because you have always smoked when you were feeling sad, worried, bored, stressed, celebratory, irritable, or whatever. Your subconscious is now convinced that the two things are interlinked, and that you need a cigarette to ease your worries, cure your irritability, enhance your happiness or whatever. It's all a BIG FAT LIE! If you can break those associations you'll see that breathing toxic crap in and out doesn't help with your emotions. It has no effect on them whatsoever! Unless of course you count feeling MORE irritable and miserable because you're gagging for a nicotene fix! It is entirely possible, and really not as hard as you think, to retrain your subconscious. Just takes a little time and determination.

I'm not saying that quitting is a peachy experience or anything. But I am saying that it is achievable. You ARE stronger than a plant and a bunch of chemicals.

Go for it.

H