So first of all I would like to say this is not my first day of quitting smoking in fact I haven't quit as yet but I need help.
A little bit about me, I'm a 29 yo mother of 3 sons on of which is a teenager for the past 12 months I have been begging for help with quitting smoking I took it up at age 22 for what reason I'm not sure. So far I have tried patches had major nightmares and stopped using them after 2 weeks of no sleep and still smoking, gum inhalers, lozenges, cold turky and therapy. Have spoken to my gp about champix but due to a family history of mental illness it has been refused gp kept telling me I would quit if I really wanted to and offered nothing more in the way of help.
So today I went to see my dentist within 2 mins she asked me how many smokes I smoke a day and she had a very worried look in her eyes I was ashamed to tell her and cried as soon as she asked the question out of shame, she then sent me to see the spe******t across the street and rang him to get him to see me straight away she attended the appointment with me and then come the words I so feared! We think it could be cancer I instantly burst into tears and felt more shame than I ever have in my life. They have done a biopsy and have also made an appointment with another spe******t in my major city and to be quite honest I'm scared stiff I know I don't know for sure and I just have to wait and see what comes up but I'm scared I'm angry at myself and my doctor for not helping me and I'm ashamed. I want to quit smoking but I can't do it on my own I need help and I don't know where to start or how to tackle it.
Why did I do this to myself why can I not quit on my own how could I be so dam stupid and how the hell do I explain this to my kids?? I am honestly scared to death but I don't know how to fix this.
I have booked an appointment with a hypnotherapist tomorrow morning but I need to do into this prepared and not just scared.
Any tips on what I can do or where to start I don't want to smoke another cigarette ever but I'm to weak to do this on my own.