3wks! Undermined by a comment.

[nsd_user663_52080]

Well here I am on Day21.It all started well enough and then I went to get a plant to celebrate reaching my third week.I stupidly told the woman in the shop that it was a present to myself in celebration of stopping smoking to which she asked what I had used.I showed her my Niquitin minis and she told me she had used patches and had given up years ago.To which I had said how brilliant it was that she had given up.She then just said "ONCE A SMOKER ALWAYS A SMOKER" in a really down and depressed way.The effect of those words on me were immediate. I felt my heart crash to the floor and feelings of despair and despondancy wash over me. I have felt bad all day.Depressed,and doubts etc etc. I know everyone is different and realise now I shouldnt of said anything but how can I shake off the blackness that she dumped on me? Any advice would be gratefully received.Thanx.

[nsd_user663_6596]

Well here I am on Day21.It all started well enough and then I went to get a plant to celebrate reaching my third week.I stupidly told the woman in the shop that it was a present to myself in celebration of stopping smoking to which she asked what I had used.I showed her my Niquitin minis and she told me she had used patches and had given up years ago.To which I had said how brilliant it was that she had given up.She then just said "ONCE A SMOKER ALWAYS A SMOKER" in a really down and depressed way.The effect of those words on me were immediate. I felt my heart crash to the floor and feelings of despair and despondancy wash over me. I have felt bad all day.Depressed,and doubts etc etc. I know everyone is different and realise now I shouldnt of said anything but how can I shake off the blackness that she dumped on me? Any advice would be gratefully received.Thanx.

Ignore her, she's probably just a muppet that enjoys making people feel crappy, and in any case if you only had plants to talk to all day you'd probably be a bit loopy too.... just look at the famous botanists and horticulturists around, most are at least mildly nuts.... most lovely with it mind... theres Prince Charles, an icon in his field but yes, bats!

Dont let some daft plant chewing pmt mooing silly fishhead spoil your day, your doing brilliantly, it is she that has something lacking.

Big hugs xxx

nb/ no plant worshippers were harmed in the making of this reply.

nnb/please feel free however to send any objections to PO Box 321 As if I care town.

[nsd_user663_51617]

Zozie, classic reply. Can't top that. Awesome.

[nsd_user663_44157]

Hi Soo

Ex smoker, non smoker, smoker who does not smoke, recovering smoker what does it matter what you call yourself? or what other people call you. All that matters is you are not smoking.

There are definately some self righteous ex smokers around, if they were so clever they would never have smoked in the first place.

Just ignore them and keep celebrating your little achievements, soon they will get bigger and bigger achievements. Three weeks is really good and it will get much easier as time moves along.

Well done

H

[nsd_user663_51711]

PFFFFT .There's always someone wants to piss on your cornflakes isn't there?

I hope you smiled sweetly and stuck some of Derek's Imaginary forks into her. You are doing great xx

[Hidden]

I know everyone is different and realise now I shouldnt of said anything but how can I shake off the blackness that she dumped on me? Any advice would be gratefully received.Thanx.

Remember the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, who said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Or, remember the words of my grade school chum, Kim, who said, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

Or, check your cupboards - there must be a bottle of wine in there somewhere. Have two glasses of wine and post again in the morning.

[nsd_user663_52519]

Makes me mad!

Soo, I take the view that you can hold your head up and think "Actually I'm bigger and better than that" There are probably millions of people who prove that this is SIMPLY NOT TRUE! They have said: "I do not want cigarettes in my life" and today that is where they still are.

When I was a month old, I used to crap myself and NOBODY said "Well ...once a crapper ..." I grew out of it and you, I and the guys here have made a choice ...we want to be better, well-formed (and richer) people! So Soo, I'd like to tell you that I used to be a smoker ...but I grew out of it!

Best of luck,

Fintan. xx

[nsd_user663_50109]

A plant was the first thing I got as a reward of not smoking. A rise one fit my garden. It only gave me one rose tho.

Well done on your quit ignore the cashier she probly fails to say she back smoking again. And is jelouse of ur achievement

[nsd_user663_20558]

Good grief, what a stupid woman.

I bet you walked out of there thinking 'what's the point if I'm going to feel miserable for ever'.

Don't! This is utter twaddle, balderdash, bull, baloney, drivel, nonsense, poppycock, hogwash and CRAP.

I suppose I am 'always a smoker' in the sense that I did it for 24 years, so once in a blue moon I'll have a situation where I'm reminded of smoking, a moment of misguided nostalgia here, a fleeting thought there. BUT. And it's a big BUUUUUUT. Does it cause me anguish? No. Do I crave? No. Do I think about it for hours? No. Do I wish I still smoked? Oh my God definitely categorically NO NO NO NO NO!!!

Don't be brought down by that stupid mare. You are doing a great thing, and freedom is on the horizon. Chin up, and keep going.

H x

[nsd_user663_52101]

I expect she failed and went back to smoking so was just trying to rain on your parade...............let it go,she,ss just one person.Theres dozens on this forum who will tell you different.Although Im in the early stages of quit I know dozens of people who gave up and never smoked again.My own father was a chain smoker but gave up overnight when told he had copd.

Dont let her words bother you.

3 wks is fantastic!!

[nsd_user663_52080]

THANK YOU ALL! x

Thank you all for all your wise words of support and encouragement-my eyes are watering!-I really value you all.Today has been a tough one I have been so irratable and bad tempered that at one point I thought I couldnt carry on as couldnt bear to be/live like that.What a rough sea our quit ship sails : ( To be honest I think you need determination,dedication,and the helping hands of all of us on this forum.May I be able to help others as you all have helped me.Love x

[Unah]

Soosan, read this. It is a great help for all new and old quitters.

forum.nosmokingday.org.uk/s...

[nsd_user663_23871]

Good grief, what a stupid woman.

once in a blue moon I'll have a situation where I'm reminded of smoking, a moment of misguided nostalgia here, a fleeting thought there. BUT. And it's a big BUUUUUUT. Does it cause me anguish? No. Do I crave? No. Do I think about it for hours? No. Do I wish I still smoked? Oh my God definitely categorically NO NO NO NO NO!!!

H x

As usual, Helen has nailed it again. One of the reasons I delayed quitting for so many years was that I had heard people say they still craved a smoke after 20 years.....or whatever. This terrified me.

It's NOT TRUE. You don't crave. You have (and I love this term), "misguided nostalgia". I hope Helen doesn't mind, but I'm going to use that from now on.

They are faint, FALSE memories.

In a sense, it is true that once a smoker, always a smoker, but only in the fact that if you ever have another puff you will awaken that sleeping creature in your belly and will have to start all over again.

[nsd_user663_51074]

Soosan darling she needs a kick.... ignore her, im working with a guy who has quit cold turky and on day 28 and all he bangs on about is how much he misses it and that he will feel or we will feel like this forever.... its how she feels but you dont have to feel like that

you keep on going girl

xxx

[nsd_user663_26699]

At first when we quit emotions can run high, and any comment from anyone can make us feel like giving in. That doesn't give us a right to call them names and blame them for having been deliberately insensitive or worse, attempting to ruin your efforts. From the evidence you've given, it sounds like she could have been reflecting on her own state of mind, perhaps out of despair that she hasn't yet let go of her psychological attachment to smoking.

Any time we go through a period of stress, such as when we give up smoking, everything tends to get amplified and distorted. Please don't fall into the common trap of believing that what others say and do is all designed to influence you in one way or another.

I believe everyone has to own their own quit, which as Dgee wisely points out means that you need to try to ignore what other people say, especially when it has a negative influence on your thoughts.

Good luck! You can make it, and as others have pointed out, we're not all thinking of not smoking as a regret. I hardly ever think about it any more, and when I do it's not in either romantic or disgusting terms. It's purely factual: I don't want to smoke any more.

Alex.