You know that giving up smoking tension we carry? That tension like a tight clenched fist stuck in the centre of our stomachs. I think its kind of the physical manifestation of our fear. Fear of failing. Fear of succeeding (ironically). Well either way for me its been ever present. Even though i've generally coped well and remained oh so positive and excited its been a constant. Right in the centre of me. I've often breathed it away as I would a labour pain. Or at least breathed it down to a less intense ache. Well today. Day ten. Its gone. And in its place is such a feeling of lovely nothing.....of cool calm. I'm struggling to articulate the smooth, cool. flowy totally devoid of stress feeling I have all through me today. Its just beautiful. I noticed it the moment I woke this morning. A total lifting of something. I feel so light.
I've read enough ups and downs and ins and outs on this marvellous forum to realise that no two days are alike in this quitting business. So I'll try not to be too disappointed if its gone tomorrow. But oh the thought that one day this carefree lightness may be the norm.............
So Day ten and going strong.
A very happy Dippy.
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Dippy_Egg
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But oh the thought that one day this carefree lightness may be the norm
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Well done Dippy. That carefree lightness will become the norm, its still early days and you may have to ride out a few rough days but if that happens just battle through and remember how you feel today and know this is how it will be everyday eventually.
That carefree lightness will become the norm, its still early days and you may have to ride out a few rough days but if that happens just battle through and remember how you feel today and know this is how it will be everyday eventually.
I will Aitch I will. And thankyou.
Karri Yes. Good days and bad days. Heck today was a good one though.
Can only echo Aitch's comment about the carefree lightness and add that as the years roll by it's ever present...well save those shite days at the office, but even through them it's easier to manage without dragging along an addiction too.
Read this from Tales of the Quit the other day as a reminder of the addiction days, as he describes looking through the heart of the sun at yourself:
"a man who couldn't lie down on his back, because the "death rattle" he heard coming out of his lungs whenever he did scared the hell out of him; a man who despised himself for his weakness; a man who hated himself for his powerlessness in the face of his addiction; a man who felt helpless and hopeless..."
So, look back at the distance you've travelled and marvel at the changes that you've brought for yourself because if one does struggle it's, "...necessary; it builds strength. it builds resolve. it builds self-esteem. it empowers you."
Thankyou for that Cav. Powerful stuff which I relate to completely. Whatever challenges this experience may throw at us......we are none of us any longer helpless or hopeless.......and the strength we gain from that is the joy that almost (but not quite) makes me glad I've had to fight this fight.
For the record. My lovely lightness of body, mind and soul is still here this morning. Yahooo
For any newbies (like me) who may be reading this, hang in there. Hold on tight no matter how hard and you will have this too. Aitch says so, Cav says so.....and now Dippy me says so.
Right, i'm off to gate crash the 4 month 6 month and 1 year + forums. Just can't get enough of peeking into the future. It looks so bright.
I am arent I (heh heh). I still can't quite believe it and have to hold on to all my hats. I really was Mrs fags. When I finally started telling people around me their reactions were quite funny. All of them said...."YOU'VE stopped smoking? I mean..... hang on a minute....... YOU?"
I repeat my thanks. Seriously could not do this without you lot. Thank all the heavens I found you.
Well done Dippy Egg - and a lovely post. Any newbies, or even those just lurking and reading, as so many of us did before finally quitting, will find your posts really inspiring. Thanks for your infectious enthusiasm!
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Day 26 such a hard day !!
