Im starting to get urges to smoke or to start smoking. My life seems pretty rubbish at the moment and i have a strong desire to say F**** it..anything to just get me out of where and who i am right now. there is a strong element of self destruction lurking, its probably always been there and whilst i was a smoker i was able to act it out ... daily... hourly... oh crikey no one warned me and this never occured to me, ..... but now its here and im staring it in the face or these words on this page i can say yes this is how i feel, now lets look for alternatives instead of smoking suicide.. just checking in folks. im glad this forum exists otherwise i could never touch base and get on with the game i chose to win all them monhs ago. im sure its all gonna be ok,living life without smoking is so much more than quitting. innit.
Mash x
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Oh Mash , is this for real ??? i dont even know long you av been packed in , but im sure its been long time , too be honest , im ready too jump meself , feel like sayin f** it, life asnt been great i feel like an old lady me body seems too be actin like its given up , i dont feel like ive packed in me health has gone shoite since i avent been smokin, hahahaha im laffin here cos if i dont ile cry .. again ... i look like shit and i have too go out hahaha, awww Mash dont do it mate we have done so well , lets just see what tomorrow brings eh mate , just lets try and hold on too our quits even if its just for today , we will deal with tomorra mate tomorra :Dxx
i have a strong desire to say F**** it... i can say yes this is how i feel, now lets look for alternatives instead of smoking suicide.. Mash x
Hiya Mash,
Took the two lines from your post because:
1) At some of my worst moments in life that is exactly how I have felt. Just feel what is the point in anything and as you say F*** it and everything else. Totally empathise with that.
2) The totally positive change in thinking in saying lets look for alternatives instead of staying in that low place. Just a small change in the way we think about something is often all that is needed.
I hope the above makes sense, my brain is definately not in working order this morning.
Read your post and got to remembering the varied ups and downs of my quit and those Octos from 09 that I quit with.
6 months was a positive turn of the corner for most of us and our quits finally felt more solid. However for some folk the 6 to 7 month stage also bought an odd shakiness of its own mixed with complacency. Happy with the quit but bored also, moving from winter into spring, warmer days, sitting/working outside in the garden / pub etc.
So many associations to get thru in that first year. Seasonal changes within a quit can be massive in it's effect on us.
Some of the above can happen on a low level ... but take any of the above and mix it with life's shittiness and it's no wonder thoughts of 'F' it cross your mind. It's times like this those negative destructive thoughts of smoking come back in. It can be so effing draining fighting those times ... but you will fight it Mash
Dig deep again Mash, you've got some awesome reserves. Your stronger than that urge to put you back 6+ months and wipe out all that you've done for yourself.
Stay strong ... weather allowing (or not )get out and peddle your bike. Do something/anything good for yourself and get some happy endorphins dancing about
I feel like that sometimes, often, also - I'm in the 3rd month of quit. I don't feel right, mentally or physically, and am considering going to get some anti-depressants from the doc. Life feels so crap so much of the time and I wonder why on earth I'm not smoking, after all, why do I want to live longer when life is like this???!!! But I keep remembering that I felt that down sometimes when I was smoking, and that fags didn't stop me from feeling like that, and that I've come so far now I might as well see where it's going to go from here...I'll feel just as bad, if not worse, if I start smoking again, so what's the point?? I'm sort of hoping that in a year or so's time all this will have gone away, and that I'll be feeling better, and if I'm not then I can reassess then...innit??? Chin up mash...stick with it, get through it, ride the wave etc. Good luck, you know you can do this, even if you don't see the point xxx
Hey Mash, it's times like these that smoking bites you on the bum and makes you think that you may as well cave... Until you go for it and find yourself back here posting about how stupid you feel for having smoked, wondering if you've completely broken your quit, whether you need to go back to day one, dabbling with the idea of having more since you feel sh*t anyway...
You've been around long enough to have seen plenty of those types of posts and probably said to yourself "thank goodness it wasn't me!!!" You don't want it to be you for sure. You're going through another one of those crappy tests when you're lulled into false sense of the fags helping in some way. You know they don't!
I hope things improve for you soon, and please hang in there no matter what it takes. Smoking again simply isn't an answer to anything.
Thanks guys & gals. been out cycling for miles and miles, got out into the country and was able to have a good old rant no one around so no one to disaprove. have put a few things into a new perspective and feelng less helpless . may write a couple of letters to people or maybe not, not sure i need to now. looking for a new career since resigning a couple of years ago. feeling a bit over the hill for this big change, may have to go back into education again . my mums on her last legs too so change is probably afoot there , she might die and the thought of coping with that is just unthinkable . its hard to stay in the day, i just want it over. find myself projecting scary scenarios into the future. i had a huge fallout with one of my sisters and im not sure if it can be fixed. well not a quick fix. its just all ugly and frustrating and all that. ..... the bike ride and rant have done me good tho.... no thoughts of smoking either. in fact it was a bloody good ride which i couldnt have done without my 7 mth quit.. wish i could get paid to do it.. now theres a thought..
Keep cycling mash . . . don't let ANYTHING get you down, just deal with things as they come along and don't worry about things until they actually happen. x
Crikey mash, we seem to have such similar quits. I've been feeling just how you feel recently. I was in the BP petrol station today and could smell stale fags on the man in front. Usually this makes me baulk but fairly recently that smell is very attractive. It made me think f**k it I'll just buy me some fags and have one....what was that all about? Anyway, I realised my mind had been thinking like that lately. Just have one...the nice weather is here, sit back, relax and have a fag. Coincidentally...I started my couch to 5K today so rather than cycling I went running to try and get the thought of cigarettes out of my mind.
It probably is the change of seasons, complacency, boredom and life stresses chipping away at our resolve. BUT, we can do this together, if you smoke I will be very, very p***ed off!
Yayyyy Mash , im so glad ive just read that u avent gone and ada ciggie , well done you xx I understand about ya mam and problems , its crap mate innit , but u wudda been feelin soo shit if u wudda give in so luvvit ya never woohoo !! Keep up with the cycling mate , i wanna bike hehe , but me neighbours will all be thinkin wtf ! hehe, :Dxx
thanks Lisa and u 2 scousemum. iv no intention of smoking or throwing in the towel. isuppose i still need to see smoking as an enemy trying to get back in. forewarned is forearmed. good 2 see your still around Lisa.
There is something that would help but i've just been told i'm not allowed to recommend it so i won't.
It wouldn't be so bad if you were asking for advice or giving some advice (other than I'm not allowed to tell you to use snus :rolleyes:). As others have pointed out this forum is about give and take, not peddling goods or repeating the same singular message over and over. Aside from the lack of URL link to a snus manufacturer, your posts smell of not-so-well disguised advertising, and the ressemblance to a former member is indeed striking.
It wouldn't be so bad if you were asking for advice or giving some advice (other than I'm not allowed to tell you to use snus :rolleyes:). As others have pointed out this forum is about give and take, not peddling goods or repeating the same singular message over and over. Aside from the lack of URL link to a snus manufacturer, your posts smell of not-so-well disguised advertising, and the ressemblance to a former member is indeed striking.
Alex.
Alex,
Is there something I am missing, how do you know its the same person ?
this threads gotten ridiculous, id just like to say my smoking suicide ideation has gone with the wind. putting things into place to start my life over again . new career, new lots of things. absolutely no desire to use smoking as a little helper. im making things happen instead and as for taking snus, why would i want to be a snus user, it doesnt conjure up any kind of glamorous images it sound like something a muppet would be addicted to. muppet snus snort it with a snorkel, it always seems to hijak my threads. why is that?:cool:
this threads gotten ridiculous, id just like to say my smoking suicide ideation has gone with the wind. putting things into place to start my life over again . new career, new lots of things. absolutely no desire to use smoking as a little helper. im making things happen instead and as for taking snus, why would i want to be a snus user, it doesnt conjure up any kind of glamorous images it sound like something a muppet would be addicted to. muppet snus snort it with a snorkel, it always seems to hijak my threads. why is that?:cool:
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xxx
well done you xx I understand about ya mam and problems , its crap mate innit , but u wudda been feelin soo shit if u wudda give in so luvvit ya never woohoo !! Keep up with the cycling mate , i wanna bike hehe , but me neighbours will all be thinkin wtf ! hehe, :Dxx
Ebt girl will not smoke tomorrow
