On the 27th January this year I quit smoking and drinking at the same time. I can make do without the drink but the smoking is killing me. I feel so ill from it. I've smoked since I was 16 and I will be 31 on April 6th! I've hated it for years. I found a girl online long distance in Ireland November last year and she was amazing in every way (or so I thought), chatted every day for hours on end, she wasn't into the whole smoking lark and went to the gym regularly. After previous bad relationships and the most recent one leaving me having very little time with my 2 year old son, I believed she was the one and I just quit! The first 3 days were really hard but she was really supportive and I started loving the fact I could hang around with my workmates who smoked and be happy I wasn't having one. I joined the Gym and started going 3 times a week and started eating healthy. I felt absolutley amazing!
To cut a long story short I found out that the girl wasn't as perfect as I was led to believe and coupled with the stress of my job and the upset of not being able to see my son regularly enough I went out last Thursday, got completly hammered and started smoking again. Nearly 5 weeks off beer and more importantly smoking! I am so angry at myself. I hate myself for my flat smelling of smoke again and my clothes. I hate standing around with people and smoking at work with them asking me what went wrong and most of all I hate the fact I feel so ill again
Every morning I wake up and think "maybe today" but when I just luckily stumbled on this site tonight and realised that there were loads of people doing this tomorrow then I couldn't believe my luck! Maybe I can do this after all, and for good this time. But the most important thing is that I have to do this for me, regardless of all the negative situations I have to deal with, they will still be there, but I know from the time I quit recently, they are a lot easier to deal with when you're not a smoker. Sorry for the rant guys!