Well, here I am in week two of my quit. Aweek ago today I was sitting on the bus, wondering what my first smoke-free day at the office would be like.
It's ver, very strange, but it feels like it's been AGES since I last had a smoke. Not because I'm missing it -- oh no, no, no! -- but just seems like I've settled into my old lifesyle very well, and I love it! Notice how I used the word 'old' and not 'new'? That's because, even though I've spent almost all of my adult life as a smoker, I was a happy non-smoker first. It was a long time ago. But now I've quit, I can REMEMBER... strange, I know. But I'm so happy that I've quit. I get the urges to smoke, but I don't have too much trouble overcoming them. Because, you see, I thought I'd miss smoking, but I don't -- what I actually missed was me, the real non-smoking me, for all those years -- but I never realised that until now.
So much so, I've been spending a real trip down memory lane this evening. I've been watching re-runs of Blockbusters on TV. I used to watch that when I came home from school, eating my potato waffles that my mum used to make.
Even my depression has been getting better. I still worry a lot about about my health -- well, that's just me, I suppose -- but I know I'm doing the right thing now. And it's all too easy, I suppose, for me to look back now and curse the stupidity of my youth. I've often said that 'when I was younger, I wanted to be older and richer; now that I'm older and wiser, I want to be younger and thinner'.
It's true though -- kicking this habbit really is all in the mind. Cravings are nothing but cravings. Habbits are nothing but habbits. And, believe me when I tell you this, they are no match whatsoever for even the smallest amount of hope.
Right, I'm getting bad to my telly now -- 'I'll have P, please Bob!"