I'm about to finish my last cigarette.
I'll post my progress here.
Wish me luck! :eek:
Here we go!: I'm about to finish my last... - No Smoking Day
Here we go!
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I'm about to finish my last cigarette.
I'll post my progress here.
Wish me luck! :eek:
wheeeheeee you can do it.....congrats on a new chapter in your life 
we're all right behind you to prop you up, chivvy you along and wrap you in a cyber blanket when the going gets tough 
Oddly enough, the morning went without a hitch. This was the bit that I thought would be the hardest, but it wasn't that bad at all. I had a few small cravings and used my nicotine mouth spray once or twice to overcome them as planned. No problem at all!
It's been a bit of a lazy Sunday for me. Around 2pm I decided to try and relax by listening to one of my favourate podcasts. I fell asleep. I woke up around 5pm. From this point on, things have got a bit tougher, and I've had cravings which were a a little bit stronger than those previously. Again, I used my mouth spray and they stopped. But the temptation to smoke was still there, and I almost gave in. Why? Well, it had nothing to do with the physical cravings, but from my mental battle -- I've foolishly been listening to my demons. "Why are you bothering?" they say, "You've already done the damage. Why put yourself through this torture?" I was, however, expecting this to be my biggest challenge.
They almost got me, too. I PUT ONE IN MY MOUTH AND LIT IT! I TOOK A PUFF! AND ANOTHER! AND IT WAS . . . RUBBISH! It didn't help. Not at all. I have a headache, and I feel A LOT worse. I stubbed it out, and threw it away. I didn't smoke any more of it. And my demons sat there and laughed at me! But now I know. It won't happen again. That smoke was horrible. I didn't need the fix. No, it certainly won't happen again. I'll remember that experience -- the last laugh's on them!
I feel a bit bad as I took a few puffs. But I have to remind myself that I'm a former 40-a-day smoker. It was never going to be easy. But guess what? I really don't think it's going to be that difficult, either -- especially with the wonderful support from the members of this forum.
Has anyone else experienced anything similar to this?
Thanks for your support. I wobbled a bit. But I learned a valuable lesson. And thanks for thinking of me, Karri -- it's really much appreciated.
Awwww dont be too hard on yourself Legs. Going from 40 a day to 0 is tough. I was a 40 a day smoker too but cut down gradually over the last few weeks before my quit day.
Did you used to smoke more in the evenings? My cravings are worse first thing in the day and last thing at night as that is when I smoked the most so thats what I am putting it down to.
The good thing is that you threw the cigarette away after a few puffs and that you didnt like it. We are all gonna have blips and tough times but hopefully we can all do it.
Keep up the good work and well done on getting through your first day (with only one blip )
Awwww dont be too hard on yourself Legs. Going from 40 a day to 0 is tough. I was a 40 a day smoker too but cut down gradually over the last few weeks before my quit day.
Did you used to smoke more in the evenings? My cravings are worse first thing in the day and last thing at night as that is when I smoked the most so thats what I am putting it down to.
The good thing is that you threw the cigarette away after a few puffs and that you didnt like it. We are all gonna have blips and tough times but hopefully we can all do it.
Keep up the good work and well done on getting through your first day (with only one blip )
Thanks, Kirsty
Yes, I certainly smoked more first thing in the morning and in the evenings. Using the nicotine spray gets rid of them really well. I think I'll struggle more with the habit than the cravings, to be honest. Never mind -- I'm in work tomorrow, so my mind will certainly be distracted. I'll just need to avoid any bad habbits once I'm home.
The habit ones have definitely been a struggle for me over the last 2 days. Like right now sitting down, cup of coffee, watching the X-factor....ummmm I mean watching something very intellectual and I really could do with a fag
Lots of deep breaths are gonna be needed over the next hour or so
Thanks Karri
I've done a lot of thinking tonight -- maybe it's a simptom of Nicotine withdrawal on my poor brain? :
A lot has happened in my life recently (all positive, I'm happy to say) but I think it's had a lot to do with my anxiety when trying to quit.
Up until a few years ago, my life wasn't great. I was very materialistic and selfish. I didn't really have any fear of the health impacts of my smoking, because I didn't have any close friends, see much of my family or care about much of anything that was really important. Since then, I got a real grip and really turned my life around -- I recently got maried, got closer to my family, am doing great in my job, and care far less about material things. But now I'm really worried that my years of smoking may impact on my new and happy life.
I think that's my weekpoint -- I know I'm motivated and strong enough to quit, but this overwhelming fear stresses me so much that I find I need to smoke when I think about it (for a long time, cigarettes were my ONLY form of comfort). It's very much a catch 22 senario. I know a lot of people would tell me that I need to think about it positively -- that I should concentrate on the here and now, and not what may or may not happen in the future -- but I can't help it. I just keep thinking about how stupid I was to start smoking and that I have cut my life short, even if I quit. I know that, by quitting, this will unlikely be the case. But, as I said, it just turns over and over in my mind -- all logic seems to go out of the window.
Anyway. . . listen to me babbling on. I sound like a real nut-job! I really don't mean to be gloomy, but I thought it best to be completely honest if I'm to be sucessful in quitting.
We all have our demons when trying to quit, I suppose. These are mine.
HI Legs dont allow those thoughts of it being too late the damage is done to dominate ,thats the addict saying that, trash those thoughts immediately cos if you carry on smoking youll do a lot more damage and hate yourself for not doing something about it when you had a mind of your own to make a positive decision. Cut your losses and decide today that your no longer going to cause any more damage. there are far worse things than lung cancer at least it kills you.strokes and amputations copd are vile and can leave you permanently disabled and only half alive and more similar to a cabbage than aperson... quit smoking and stay quit and that kind of negative addict thinking will evaporate and the real very much alive you will come into being.
Smoking was my best and only friend for yrs and i thought like you and didnt see the point in quitting. adictive thinking.. 2 months later im smoke free and so over that rubbish friend
and loving being free for the first time in my life, well the second cos i was born free but kidnapped by tobbacco....Mash x
2 months later im smoke free and so over that rubbish friend
and loving being free for the first time in my life, well the second cos i was born free but kidnapped by tobacco....Mash x
Hear hear Mash
Hang in there legs.....it's almost like your brains trying to give you that excuse to start again.......
You can do this and people do have 'blips' but get yourself back on track and take the support from here......we know what you're going through
You're right, guys. Thanks for all your support.
Day 2 (today has been a complete failure). I think I've got a much better grip now. I'm going to start over again tomorrow.
It hasn't been a total waste, though -- I've learned a few valuable lessons, and I've made an appointment to see the nurse on Wednesday 21 December. I'll have a chat with her -- I'm sure she'll be able to help me with the horrible negative thoughts I've been having. I'm also hoping that she'll arrange for me to go to a support group or something (knowing me, that will help a lot -- and it will get me talking face-to-face with other quitters).
My better half has encouraged me today -- even though I haven't gone smoke free, I have come a long way. I may have had my first faulse start, but I'm settling back in my blocks again. Maybe this time I can get away clean and eventually cross the finishing line a winner -- even if I do wander out of my lane a bit along the way 
One thing's for sure -- I am determined to do this!
I'll post my progress here.
Thanks again guys.
Here we go . . . Day 1, take 2!
OK. Well here I am at day one . . . again!
The day started off very well: as soon as I got up, I took a spray of my NRT and the morning passed with my cravings quite minimal (surprisingly). I used the spray a few more times when needed (which wasn't that much).
It's my day-off today, so I popped to bed around 3pm or so to take a nap. When I woke-up, I decided to lay there for a while, listening to a few podcasts. Now, this is the really wierd thing: I don't get cravings when I'm laying down, relaxing. Really wierd. I'm very fortunate in that I never have any trouble sleeping -- I'm one of those people who can just go to sleep whenever ( I know, it makes my better-half sick with envy!)
Thing's haven't been that bad this evening, but my cravings got MUCH stronger from 6pm onwards. This makes sense, though: I normally smoke much more when I've finished work, which is around 6pm (when getting out of the office, when walking to the bus stop, when walking home from the bus stop, when I get in, when I sit down . . all the way through to when I go to bed!)
I'm going to the doctors tomorrow -- I had a minor problem (not related to smoking, thank goodness) that I need to have checked. I'm going to ask him for an overall check-up as I'm planning on going to the gym. That should keep me busy and do me the world of good, on some evenings. In my youth, I was an international track and field athlete. I started smoking when this came to and end following injury, and I started a new hobby working with rock bands. Smoking and drinking were common place -- although I've never been much of a drinker, I took to smoking like a duck to water -- it even became part of my persona because I was never seen anywhere without a fag in my mouth. Even other smokers commented on my chain-smoking habbit! I'm glad to say, however, that returning to the gym won't be a problem -- I love it and almost feel at home there. I'll take it easy at first, and see how it goes. Dispite my filthy habbit, I have frequented the gym off-and-on over the years, but stopped altogether about 3 years ago.
I'm also planning to take the family out frequently as well (at the moment, I'm ashamed to say, we don't go anywhere). In short, I'm going to make the most of my new free time that I'd normally spend smoking like a chimney!
Anyway, I'm waffling on now! But writing these posts certainly helps with the cravings! I'll plod-on now until I go to bed and then see how tomorrow goes.
Just one question before I go. For the last few weeks, I've been getting very depressed. 
I cut-down the amount of cigarettes I smoked a huge amount prior to quitting, but I also had a lot going on at the same time (i.e. I got married a month ago). I'm not sure if it's down to everything's that happened, or if it's a known withdrawal symptom. Any thoughts? :confused:
Hiya Legs11...
I have absoluite faith adn confidence that YOU can do this...
I'm not what I'd/you'd/ppl would have called a heavy, but I'm sure that little nico-demon affects us all slightly differently. When I was smoking I'd think that nothing else compared to the pleasure I was getting... But looking back now, I know it was a false pleasure, it was a false calm, it was all false. Several times (I say several, but you'd probably need two hands, and the two hands a couple others to count) over the past couple of years I have tried to stop, on occassions reaching 2 or three days, each time telling myself that I really must stop, I really want to stop. However, I dont think I was prepared mentally for what I was undertaking.
Reading the posts on here and taking on board the helpful and supportive comments of others that are also embarking on this glorious journey, this fantastical journey we are all taking together into a cleaner fresher brighter world helps immensely. It has certainly made the difference for me. I dont know if feeling down, or over emotional is a withdrawal symptom, but I will stand here, humble and hold my hands up, and say that I was somewhat "emotional" a couple days ago (around days 7-8 I think). You ahve to ride through it... Yes it hurts, yes you may want to regress and revert back to those horid smelly little sticks, but you can do it !!! I know you can. Think of your family and all the fun you'll have in the months and years ahead - good quality clean fun
I hope your day2 has not been too rough and I wish you all the very best for your quit... We're all here, so post away...
I can't believe this. I failed. Again! :mad:
I just can't seem to kick this -- I always fall at the same hurdle: from around 6pm my cravings get so strong, I get depressed and grab the cigs after (right at the end of the night) after going without all day! I'm determined to do this, but I can't even get passed 24 hours properly! How the heck am I going to be able to kick this? And if I don't kick it soon, I just know it's gonna kick me! I feel awful.
I just can't believe how well you're all doing, and I can't even get off the mark! I'm really rubbish at this. If I can't do this now, I've got no chance when I get back to work on Friday.
I think I'll stop being so negative on here and stop posting until I can get this underway properly. If I ever manage it at all. Otherwise, I'll just be getting on everyone's nerves.
Legs
I started my stopping on a sunday (last ciggie at 1am, woke up around 11am so had already had a headstart - no nicotine/chemicals for 10 hours) - I had absolutely nothing planned for the day. I knew the day was going to be tough and planned it so that I could go to bed to sleep/nap through the worst of it if required. I did have help from lozenges which while not an exact replacement for ciggies, at least took the edge of the withdrawal.
Day 2 to 6 were work days so my mind was otherwise engaged during the day...evenings were spent grimacing and taking lots of lozenges!!!! Quit the lozenges after day 6 (another weekend!!!)
There will be lots of anecdotes of the first few days (feel free to post everyone) - there is no denying the first week is hard, however it does get easier (although the madness will return periodically usually when you are least expecting it).
Chin up, try again, get over the first day and then post your experience/encouragement to someone else who is on day one!!!
My phone buzzed this morning (still trying to configure it to say "You've got mail" - yeah, just like the movie...) to say I had email and read your post Legs11. Needless to say my spine tingled when I read the support here... You can do it
Please please dont stop posting. I know categorically that I would have regressed several times over if it wasn't for the support here and reading the motivational posts. Karri's right, we've all cried, shouted, screamed, some of us even scream at passing traffic... I joined here a couple weeks before I had set my date and sat quietly on the sidelines, just browsing the posts. I think it helped to get me into the right frame of mind. Which is part of the war against that little demon blighter, and thats what it is, a little demon sitting on your shoulder. When I started my quit, its voice was so loud, saying "so what if you smoke, others do", "just one more wont hurt", "go on, stop next week", but on the other shoulder the soft quiet voice saying "you know what you have to do and you have the strength to do it". Its not easy, if it was easy, everyone would quit. You can do it
One thing I have found by reading the posts of others here and following them on the beginning of their new fresh clean life is this journey we've all embarked on effects us all in different ways (would you believe that some even shout at passing traffic)... You have to find the path that suits you. There are numerous options that can help as you well know. Personally, there is no way I could have just stopped CT, so I've used patches and an inhalator (still dont know if I've splet that right after 2 weeks). After 2 weeks, I can say that the habit of wanting to go out for a smoke first thing in the morning, at my 10am break, lunch time, in the afternoon, on way home from work, in the evenings - has gone... Sure the odd craving creeps over at random intervals, but that soon passes - the inhalator helped me immensely with the cravings btw... In the beginning I just kept telling myself repeatedly - I don't want to smoke, no, no, no, no, no... What the other say is true, its not a cliché - it does get better, ohhhhhh, believe me, it does get better. You can do it
I know, Its just that damned first hurdle. Take it in steps, break it down - I saw someones signature and it mentioned about pebbles and mountains (can someone jump in here and provide the quote?) which really struck home - Don't think about tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that, just work through today... Get to lunchtime, get through the afternoon and spend the evening posting in here - Oh and if there are cigs in the house, get rid. You can do it
And please dont think of yourself as a failure - this was just a dry run Pick yourself up, dust yourself off (really must hire a new cleaner), and get ready - because we're all here to support you through this. Set yourself milestones and post when you reach each and every one - it does help. and remember - You can do it
You've already taken the first and probably the most crucial step - to want to stop. Good luck, we're all routing for you... You can do it
It's me with the pebble quote, so I'll jump in
Legs, you MUST stop beating yourself up because that mindset isn't helping your general depression or your quit.
I think you're letting the enormity of the thing get to you too much - focusing, in more ways than one, on the big picture. Which is fine to a point, but actually when you're just starting out it seems too overwhelming. Forever smoke free seems so impossible, and the addiction "demon" seems infinitely bigger and stronger than you, so you just give up.
Like Chris says, break it down. You only have to not smoke one cigarette - the one you're wanting right now. When that massive crave hits at the end of the day, that's the only thing you have to think about. And what it boils down to is your choice. Light it, or fight it. You know what you want to do. You know what you have to do. Don't let the fear get to you, get past that wall in whatever way you can. IT WILL GET BETTER.
We've all been there, the first few days are hell on toast. But you CAN do this!!!
H
Thanks for your kind replies everyone, but I think I have a real psycological problem which is underlying all of this.
No matter what I do or what I try I can't stop this fear I have that I'm going to die young from my smoking that I'm abolutely overwhealmed by it. It's all I think about. It's effecting my life big time. I think I need to get some professional help. I cannot stop thinking that the damage has already been done. And that's not a good thing to keep bleating on about and will only bring everyone else on here down.
It's not just that it makes me feel like there's no point in quitting; it makes me feel like there's no point in doing anything. It's aful, and I feel completely ashamed to feel this way because I have no right to.
It's become quite obvious to me now that it's been there a long time -- now I'm trying to quit, it's just forcing me to comfront it, whereas I just tried to ignor it before. And like I said earlier, my life has really improved now == before, it didn't really matter so much to me.
Definately a job for the shrinks, I think. Smoking just seems to be a product of some far deeper problem.
Hey LegsEleven
I'm no expert believe me on anything but....a few years back I had this overwhelming feeling that I was going to die and in the end it impacted my life so much, suffered from panic type attacks, didn't know they were panic attacks at the time, I thought these were a symptom of me dying.
Finally I went to see my doctor, it was anxiety, I couldn't understand why, I had a beautiful daughter, happy life....the upshot of this was, it was almost like now my life was good, all the anxieties I had stored away could safely come out of the closet and be dealt with.....I truly believed I was a nutcase, now years on I can look back thank god I dealt with it, I had some counselling to deal with things from the past and it also helped me cope with the future.
You are not a shrink/nutcase believe me, just a normal person who has the courage to say their thoughts out loud, not many people can.....
Keep positive and you know deep down you can crack the smoking but in the meantime, concentrate on positive things in your life and remember no one is going to come and steal all the good things.
Take care, big hugs x
Thanks Sara.
I've had that before, a long time ago. I know exactly what you mean.
I've had coucelling too -- It was determined that I had a "black or white" thought process. In other words, if somethings possible, no matter how small that chance is, it's inevitable in my state of mind. It's strange because I am, believe it or not, a very logical person -- but this just seems to concentrate on this one fear. I will ask to speek to a councellor again I think. And mention it to the nurse.
Thanks for sharing that with me. I really thought I was the only person who had these experiences. But what you've described is exactly what I had in the past.
I'm still down to smoking just 2 - 4 cigarettes a day, though. It's not intentional - it just happened when this all started. When I get back to work tomorrow, I'll try not to smoke. Maybe the familiar routine will help me snap out of this as I have 'normal' things to worry about again. I'll tell my colleagues that I'm trying to quit and maybe I can, at some point, get things started.
I honestly believe the shock of my cousins death has braught this on. A wake-up call, some may call it. But I just keep thinking that in a few years time, it will happen to me as well. I think it could be a bit of trauma? I've been fortunate in that I've not experienced something like this before.
All I know is that isn't 'me' at all, and I just want to get-on with quitting.
Depressed
Yep , nicotine releases endorphins in the brain that make you "feel happy" and it is part of the withdrawal that when the nicotine levels are reduced so are the feel good chemicals .
This isnt permanent and you will in time be very happy that you have kicked the awful habit into touch and are getting fitter and healthier with each day that passes.
I go to the gym lots too , was there monday and tuesday evening and will be going again tonight. I have muscles that i never knew existed .....can even open a jar of coffee with my left ear ( kidding ):D.
Anyway ....well done you !.
Regards Trev
Gosh Legs,
If anyone is a case for the shrinks its me, I am the one that screams at passing traffic 
(I will see you in my office ChrisM) It's natural to worry about the damage we have done to ourselves through smoking, and one of my fears of stopping was that I had heard of people giving up and then getting cancer later, so that put me off from trying. And early in the quit most of us think we have got awful illnesses anyway. If smoking had already done you any serious damage your doctor would have picked something up by now and told you, but please talk to him/her and voice your concerns.
As to quitting, I agree with Chris and Helen, don't think about giving up forever just do it for ONE day and then rethink the situation. I told myself I was going to quit for 72 hours and then if I didn't like it I could smoke. Did the 72 hours and told myself 2 weeks, and if I didn't like it I could smoke. I don't think much about giving up permanently, it is too big. I have even given myself a date when I can smoke, but by then I probably won't want to. Just a few thoughts.
Zoe xx
Thanks guys.
Zoe -- what you've said, there, is very true of what I've experienced (hearing of ex-smokers getting the dreaded C). It's not so much the fear of that, but more like I've already got it. Stupid, I know. But, like you, it's what's put me off quitting before. I've spent weeks, on the internet, reading about it. I now I know far too much for my own good.
I know that it's possible -- almost everything is -- but I also know that the chances of it happening are relatively small ( only around 10% of lifelong smokers get it, let alone ex-smokers who's risk is reduced significantly). I also know that, by quitting, many of the risks of more common deadly health issues are almost compleley avoided. I know ALL of this, yet I just can't help thinking as I do. That's why I'm sure I have a real problem.
I can be out shopping, for example, and may feel the odd craving. That's fine. I can handle them and expect them. But then, it hits me like a brick: "you've probably got lung cancer. You're going to die soon". It happens over and over. And when it does, I'm paralsed with fear -- just like a doctor or omeone has told me this for real. This is more than just the usual worry I think. And, as can not reasure myself that I will be ok, I have no idea if it will ever go away. It's awful!
I was talking to my dad yesterday on th phone. He tried to reasure me. I just mentioned it to him -- he has no idea how much of a problem it is for me. He reasured me (being an ex-smoker himself for around 18 years and quitting over 35 years ago) that I'll be fine if I quit now. I had to put the phone down because I just burst into tears. All I could think of was that it wasn't like that for my cousin. I'm sooooo upset. I can't keep doing this.
Legs, have you talked to your doctor about how scared you are? Maybe you could get some medication to help you stop thinking like this? If it's any consolation I have had a blinding headache for over a week, and convinced myself I am about to have a stroke any minute :rolleyes: But I just put it down to quitters paranoia.
Zoe xx
Legs, I really think that you are still grieving, I understand, my Aunt only died in October and she was 58 and that was lung cancer too. I was terrified as I'm now 45 and so here I am on this forum talking to wonderful people.
I do think it'll help to talk to someone about how you feel, grief comes in all shapes and sizes believe me and like nicotine withdrawal can come and slap you right on the ar*se when you least expect it.
I agree with Zoe, go talk to your doctor, they're not going to put you in a straitjacket and whisk you off, they will have heard it before because it is totally normal.....listen you are normal!!!
Big hugs
Sara x
Legs, have you talked to your doctor about how scared you are? Maybe you could get some medication to help you stop thinking like this? If it's any consolation I have had a blinding headache for over a week, and convinced myself I am about to have a stroke any minute :rolleyes: But I just put it down to quitters paranoia.
Zoe xx
I haven't, no. Even though my doctor has expressed his approval for me to quit, he doesn't seem to be that interested, really. I think I really need to speek with someone, though. That's why I booked an appointment with the nurse on Wednesday.
I'm sure you're headache's fine, Zoe. Just a headache, and nothing more. I think I'm far more likely to have a heart attack with stress if I carry on worrying like this.
