Last night I met up with an old friend from my childhood, we had a great night and I had my first drink in 4 months. I was drunk as a skunk and not once did it enter my head to hae a smoke.
One to me I thought. I was so chuffed.
Then today happened..........
Im not one for being very forthcoming about my private life, however many of you who read my posts will know that Im staying with my mum and dad as I recuperate from my op. This isnt totally true, I am staying with my parents but have been here for nearly 4 years, I was very ill and they persuaded me to move back with them.
Now my family isnt the perfect tv family, in fact we ae quite dysfunctional, none moreso than my father and my brother, mental is actually the word I would use to describe them.
Anyway today my brother said that if he saw me outside of my parents house he would give me a good smack, when I argued back with him my father threw me out, so now Im living with my son until I go and sort somewhere out for myself. Im hoping to do that this week.
The reason Im telling you this is because I was distraught while all of this was going on,I was sobbing and didnt know what to do, its so close to Christmas and Im homeless, not literally but I think you understand what I mean. So my first thought as I left the house was I need a smoke. I got into my car and drove straight to my sons, and just refused to go to the shop, I asked myself would smoking make me feel any better and the answer was no.
So why am I being so open about the shitty family life I have? Well the reason is this, I was so chuffed at not wanting a cig last night when I was out, I really thought I had gotten this licked. But today, when my life was falling down around me, well that was the real test. I didnt smoke and for me that means I really have kicked this addiction. If ever there was a time I was going to give up today was it. I didnt give in and now I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that I really am a non smoker.