Day 13

Hey Guys

In 20 minutes it'll be 13 whole days since my LAST puff on my LAST cigarette, that was smoked and savored like it was the most beautiful thing in existence, like i was saying goodbye to a good friend that hadn't done anything wrong. I then went to bed in a sulk, absolutely certain that I'd never be happy again, and with a niggling feeling that i'd probably just fail again anyway.

The one thing I had this time is determination, and shedloads of it for once. When I woke up that Wednesday I WANTED to stop. I knew I HAD TO do this, that there were a gazillion good reasons to quit, and only a few selfish ones to keep damaging myself and, ultimately everyone around me. It was like I was suddenly hit over he head with the reality stick.

It wasn't easy though in those first few days, where my nicotine-deprived mind started peace talks in an effort to stop the madness. All the old hits came back...

'You're a different person without fags, you're so angry!'

'It HAS been a bad day, why not have a couple and try again when things go back to normal?'

'One or two a day aren't gonna do much damage! Are they?' and many more...

All B******S of course and this time I knew it. I just went about way eating, and doing anything and everything to keep my hands busy, and got on with it, secure in knowledge that the feelings were TEMPORARY.

By day 5 i was well chuffed with myself, but i'd got to day 5 plenty of times before and here i was doing it again :confused: Then i stumbled across this forum, and it really does help. I read a hell of a lot of it and even if someone just says 'day 2, feel like death, but i'm still fighting' That helps, 'cos as corny as it sounds, I know i'm not alone, so thank you :)

So here I am a day off the 2 week mark. I know its still relatively early days but its a massive milestone because i feel I've come so far emotionally than I ever have done on a quit. I really do feel like I've said goodbye to the ol' cancer sticks for good, and i'm so proud of myself for getting this far that there's such a big part of me that doesn't want it ruined. How would I feel reading this post after a relapse???

Anyway thank you for reading and for all your support, you don't know me from Adam but you've helped me and supported me, and that means a lot. Tomorrow is another day and another fight (todays fight was won by eating 4 scones for supper!) And i'll see you on the other side :D


7 Replies

  • Well done Jordan.Keep pressing ahead One day at a time and before you know it you'll have arrived at a month.I look forward to joining you there-its only a fortnight away and I feel confident taking one day at a time we will be there.Your body will certainly be thanking you-I know mine is.And those craves will get less and less as time goes on.Best wishes.douglas.P.S ....A month of quitting smoking IS a SERIOUS quit(many many people dont make it beyond the first few days...and TWO WEEKS is excellent.

  • Jordan, you're doing fantastically well. Those sneaky little addict thoughts will come back to haunt you every now and then on your journey, and try to persuade you that life was better with a fag in your mouth. But you know it's not true, so just stick to your path, turn your face to the sun and keep walking.


  • Keep going Jordan, you're almost heading into your third week now - the time does go quickly enough - keep it up :)

  • Your post was hugely inspirational for me at my point in the old quit process!!!

    Thanks for sharing, it made me smile and gave me strength.... huzzaaah!

    and jolly well done by the way! Scones are the way forward. ;o) x

  • Well done, Jordan - you sound fantastically positive! I can remember trying to quit a few years ago and i would cry and cry and smoke and smoke, thinking that my whole life was about to change for the worse. Of course, my quit failed and i tortured myself for six whole months, trying to find the mindset to do it. I love the phrase you use about being hit with a reality stick - so true. Once it clicks into place in your head, the rest just seems so obvious. Once you realise it was the nicodemon who was grumpy and fed up that night, you can see what a grip it had on you. And then you let it go, and it feels brilliant!

    You should be very proud of yourself!

  • Thanks Guys for reading and your thoughts, and thanks Zozie, the idea that something i wrote helps you is very flattering.

  • Jordan-if you get a moment do look at the posts i've bumped on the 6 month forum.Its basically a reminder to ALWAYS STAY ON GUARD.i also enjoy reading your posts and wish you as always a lifelong and happy quit.

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