how bad was I

i am going on holiday soon it has brought a lot of feelings to the surface

my daughter asked can i go to the shop on my own on holiday which washed me over with that bad guilty feeling

last year i let her go to the shop on her own [dont get me wrong she was 10 and if i stood out on the bank i could see the shop] but the soul reason i let her go so willingly was so i could have a peacefull fag that wasnt rushed

it just brought up alot of guilty mixed feeling when she asked me

i am going to use this to my advantage if the holiday makes me feel like smoking i will turn it around and make those guilty feelings keep me strong and know i am doing right by my kids now

the only way i can cope with guilty feelings which i do have a lot with many situations over the years is to know i am doing the right thing now and hope it makes up for it all

4 Replies

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  • Boo,

    She was safe, you could see her at all times and yes it was a bit selfish that you did it so you could have a smoke but she probaly really appreciated you trusting her to go on her own and gave her some self confidence.

    This year you don't have the worry about doing it cos you don't smoke.

    We all have bits of our past that we are ashamed of cos we wanted to smoke. Shouting at the kids because you just want them to go away so you can smoke without them seeing.

    Chin up hun xx

  • Me too Karri but hey Jake has turned out ok..

    He did tell me the other week how ashamed he was of me at Xmas, stood outside Exeter Airport in the snow puffing away on a couple of fags before my flight:(

    Hoping to make him proud of me at Gatwick on Monday :D

  • Boo,

    We all have bits of our past that we are ashamed of cos we wanted to smoke. Shouting at the kids because you just want them to go away so you can smoke without them seeing.

    Yep. That was me. And I thought I was so great because I never smoked in front of them. Big woop. :rolleyes:

    Boo, don't beat yourself up. Ten is fine to go to the shop on their own, they need to gain some independence before heading off to secondary school! And you're not smoking now, so no more situations like that are going to arise again. So a big YAY to you, and a big hug.

    xxx

  • Hey Boo, the others have covered the issue about your daughter and hopefully you're not beating yourself up about that incident anymore.

    I read around that you've been fairly focussed upon this holiday but I just wanted to add a note of caution. Do be very prepared in case you get a really strong crave when you start out on your holiday. Continue to be strong and shrug off the crave. Try to make some alternative plans of what you'd do in the various scenarios you'll find yourself in...the ones where you happily smoked through. Don't lose your quit on holiday ;)

    Other than that, have a great time...and no duty frees :eek::p

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