Back and Forth

Today was much better than yesterday overall but a lot of back and forth e.g.

1.About 11am went for a cig break (without the cig) to get in the sun and it didnt bother me at all that others were smoking, i didnt want to, which was great and unexpected. Thought how i used to really enjoy "summer smoking" but in reality i will enjoy "summer" much more without "smoking"

About 6pm really sad about the loss of summer smoking and thinking "maybe if i just smoke this weekend?" - and yes i know i cant, but it's annoying

2.General thinking is "i dont want to smoke" and obv i dont have to smoke, so i should be happy right, but am annoyed. It's like: i dont want to eat mushrooms and i dont have to and that's good - why doesnt it work with smoking? stupid addiction:(

3 days is good. mostly just want to hang in there to feel it get to the point where it gets a little easier (in my head that's day 8 - dunno why), cos i've never got there before.

Ho-hum.

4 Replies

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  • About 6pm really sad about the loss of summer smoking and thinking "maybe if i just smoke this weekend?" - and yes i know i cant, but it's annoying

    .

    Imagine how good you will feel on Monday if you dont smoke over the weekend :):):).

  • Well done Lulabelle, you are doing so well.:D

  • Well done on sticking with it. I know just what you mean about feeling annoyed, when you should be happy - I had a very similar day myself yesterday. Annoying isn't it?? We should be over the moon with ourselves and instead I just felt fed up and stroppy! :mad:

    I just keep telling myself that I've made the right decision - in fact, it's a no brainer! Hopefully that will get me through.

    Hope you have a better day today - keep on keeping on! :)

  • ...It's like: i dont want to eat mushrooms and i dont have to and that's good - why doesnt it work with smoking? stupid addiction.

    When you first tried mushrooms maybe you didn't like them. Maybe your mum persisted for a few years, sneaking them on the plate, but ultimately you don't want to eat them so you don't. Your conscious mind and your subconscious mind agree on the no mushroom policy.

    With smoking you consciously wanted to. Your subconscious rejected smoking until it caved, adapted, conformed and permitted smoke in the lungs and poison in the bloodstream.

    Smoking wasn't really about choice. We were going to be smokers long before we took those sneaky puffs. The lucky ones were those that didn't feel the need to conform. :(

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