Really tempted today.
Days 4-6 were passable, but felt like smoking on day 4 out of spite, as my boss made a bitchy comment about giving up. I arrived at work on zero sleep, really struggling with temptation, and she dismissed me as 'people do it all the time... you're not the only one...'
FAILING to realise what a big deal it was for me to go even a day, and that this was my first day at work in my LIFE without one.
Day 5 was better than i expected with moderate temptation,
Day 6, was ok enough - i sat inside whilst pals smoked.
TODAY, I feel miserable. I've just got the keys to my new flat. i want to sit there outside and chillax and have a smoke and think 'yeah! new flat!', instead i walked home feeling desperate for a fag. I REALLLLYYY miss the one i have after work, and I just want one so so much. Not even physically. I was actually seriously contemplating buying a cigar or herbal cigs. i just want the smoke. The nicotine stuff isn't doing much. I don't want nicotine, I want to sit on the step and inhale something and it to smoke. I want to do it so much that i feel a bit like crying, because i've had enough of wanting it.
This just makes me think, 'well will i ever NOT want to smoke'. I just can't believe these 'never touched a cigarette again!!' stories. I kind of think 'good on me for trying not to smoke' but then i just think 'you'd be happier if you had a fag..' I can't subscribe to all of this 'benefits of not smoking!!!!' crap, because I've spent a lot of money on NRT this month, and treats, and the only thing i do like is not smelling. I can hardly relax because i want a fag.
Does this want go away??