From the halcyon days....copy and paste here from Catwoman's very useful input into the Forum. Even though life turned out different it doesn't diminish the quality post. See the link at the end for the full thread.
"I posted this a while ago and thought posting it again may help the newer quitters who have joined the board Rather than deal with an abstract concept that is 'stopping smoking', I and many other found that personifying and making 'real' the smoking part of ourselves made leaving it behind as we got on with life a lot easier to do. I still see the smoking part of myself as something that will trick me whenever he can and this does really make ignoring it easier and keeping quit easier. Maybe after reading this you may get a different perspective on your quit that will make it easier to handle.
Inside of every smoker lives a demon. His name is Nicodemon and he just loves to wallow in smoke. He pretends to be your friend but he really isnt - It is all about Nicodemon. He is very sneaky and will do anything to keep you smoking so he can create his ideal environment. When we quit smoking it is bad news for him cos he cant survive without the smoke - the first thing that happens is that we put a cage around him - we are about to do battle........ At first he starts to laugh at us - He tells us we cant do this - after all - havent you tried so many times before and it didnt work - he tells us we are not strong enough - he ridicules our good intentions. He is so confident - he makes us question our abilities.
HOWEVER, after a few days, he realises that we are serious this time - he starts to get nervous - we have created a prison for him - He is now encaged and is angry - very angry. How dare we do this to him - We are starving him - he will die if he doesnt get smoke. He NEEDS it to survive. This is war. This is the time when he will come up with all sorts of reasons telling you why you should have just that one puff - but you are smarter than that - you now have the tools to fight back - Go on , pick them up and use them.......
So there is ol Nicodemon in his cage, totally enraged - climbing the walls - trying to bargain with you - after a little while he gets weaker and weaker and slithers down the wall and sits in abject misery on the floor. Every now and then he has a little temper tantram - desperately trying to get us to take that cigarette. He gets weaker and weaker and eventually he will die........
HOWEVER, before s/he dies s/he lays an egg - This egg will remain inside the smoker for the rest of their lives. That is ok - as long as that person doesnt smoke then the egg is inactive. But at the first hint of any smoke the egg will hatch and a brand new Nicodemon is born.
Each morning get up and reaffirm to the Nicodemon that today isn't the day he gets his new life, you are chosing not to smoke for today, the same as you did yesterday and will again tomorrow. "
Much that it pains me to say this I HATED that post the first time and it's got worse each time I read it.
I've come across various versions of the same concept and they always remind me of an adult trying to justify Santa and his elves to a small child, knowing it's nonsense but hoping the child swallows it.
Like chickens, the moment you give 'em names they're harder to kill.
Even if you dumb it down to a little demon called Nic with pointy ears and tobacco breath there's always someone who actually believes it.
The subconscious is a very scary place after all.... :eek:
I don't think it is a case of 'believing' it but just a visualisation that might help people when they are having one of 'those' moments on their quit or battling with the 'just one' stage.
I don't 'believe' this thing is sitting there in my head but if it helps to imagine giving him a bloody good punch when he is shouting in your ear that you want a fag......
I found this post helped me lots in the first few weeks
Much so that i bumped it up myself a few weeks back, i think sometimes having that little bit of extra "something" so be it real or not, is the boost some people need!
Thank you Cavalier for re-doing this, i am sure it will help many others too
P.s Gaynor.... i like the feeling of punching him too lol
Much that it pains me to say this I HATED that post the first time and it's got worse each time I read it.
I've come across various versions of the same concept and they always remind me of an adult trying to justify Santa and his elves to a small child, knowing it's nonsense but hoping the child swallows it.
Like chickens, the moment you give 'em names they're harder to kill.
Even if you dumb it down to a little demon called Nic with pointy ears and tobacco breath there's always someone who actually believes it.
The subconscious is a very scary place after all.... :eek:
It's good to see that you were also beating the drum for stickies back in those days
I don't think it is a case of 'believing' it but just a visualisation that might help people when they are having one of 'those' moments on their quit or battling with the 'just one' stage.
With you there, Gaynor....well, when I say I'm with you I mean that the visualisation aspect is more than likely what the writer had in mind knowing that it was aimed at primarily an adult readership.
I think it's good and the one from Jase too. Some people need to feel that they are fighting against something tangible. Visualisation can help with many things and some quiet times using it, I think, can help make that leap from concious thought to subconcious.
The thing about not killing something because it has a name? Hmmmm, well maybe I'm a psycho then because I know the name of my addiction, I even know what she looks like. Doesn't stop me imagining beating the crap out of her and walking away leaving her in a dying, bloodied mess on the floor. :eek:
Personally I really liked this one from looper. (Sorry no idea how to do the link, so have just copied and pasted - need some internet lessons here I think :o)
More reasons - and this ones a long one and has only dawned on me like - last night - during a bout of insomnia.....I'm writing this here as I NEVER want to forget how I feel right now.
Nicotina - she was never my friend.
I first personally met Nicotina when I was 11 years old although she had been a close family friend for as long as I could remember. The minute she approached me personally I welcomed her with open arms. My whole family felt she was very important, a source of comfort and support and to top it all off I always thought she was a rather cool friend to have. You know - she upped my status a bit which is all important when you're 11.
For many years Nic and I rubbed along together, as close as close can be. She was my friend, she helped me through the hard times, she laughed with me during the good. I felt we were inseperable and that anyone who thought Nic and I weren't good for each other was a threat, a bore - jealous.
Twenty years of friendship was upon us, but the years were starting to take their toll. Nic wasn't good with money and was costing me a fortune in subsidising her and she never paid me back. At first this was fine, it was a sacrifice I was willing to make to have her in my life but, after a while it got to be rather grating. She became posessive and smothering, demanding my attention, dictating where I went, who I soc1alised with....if I soc1alised at all. I realised she was isolating me and it was about this time that I took a step back and re-evaluated our relationship.
I realised that actually it had never been as good as I thought it was. For example, she gave me a fragrance that I felt I had to wear, but it was not pleasant and made me feel uncomfortable and self-conscious in the presence of those who could smell it better than I. Trying to keep up with Nics lifestyle was making me ill and she really was a bit of a fair weather friend. One time, I had been awake for two nights unable to breath or function, when I eventually sought emergency care and they told me it had probably been a good thing I hadn't gone to sleep (hinting that I may not have woken), she wasn't there for me. During repeated chest infections, where some had me feeling like I was on my last legs, she wasn't there for me either. In fact, on occassions she would demand I go outside in the cold just to have some alone time with her, despite the fact I felt too unwell to even make it out of the door. I still went though.
In reality I was getting sicker and weaker and more feeble while Nic remained strong - no - stronger than I had ever known her. She was consuming me and I was letting her. I had even lied for her in the past, covered up for her, sneaked around for her, denied her existence just so we could carry on being friends in the face of adversity. She was mine and I didn't want to let her go.
Well, that was then. Now I realise that I was hers and it was she who didn't want to let go. She was the one benefitting while I slowly sunk in health, social status and finance. She has never actually supported me, or helped me and I now realise that she never helped or supported anyone else either. It was all an illusion. In truth she was destroying me, quietly. She had destroyed other members of my family and brought them an early death but by Nics very nature the rest of us had turned a blind eye.
But it's o.k now, for me at least. I took my blinkers off. I've finally seen her for exactly what she is and now unmasked I see the truth - she is very, very ugly and all I've left to say is - Get Lost Nicotina, you were never my friend.
I was sleep deprived and spent a long time (all night in fact) thinking about that!!
I absolutely felt that at the time...she had been my friend, but probably the meanest biatch of a friend I had ever had!
Thanks Rach...feel well embarassed now
Me......taking the mick???!!!
Sorry, wasn't trying to embarrass you!!
I thought that that was one of the best and most inspiring things I have read in my quit so far. And I felt it might help anyone lurking looking to quit at the moment. Just thought it needed to be brought to the forefront again :D.
It helped me, as I associated the Nicodemon with being a man til I read this
I love the Nicotina character- I knew her well. There is a newbie called Nikki looking for a little inspiuration. This could be just the ticket. I will point her in this direction
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Please tell him to go away!!
