Jokes to cheer me up please!

[nsd_user663_2952]

I'm feeling quite down today!

Not sure if it's missing smoking or just a pants day at work but not feeling on top of the world today.

Does anyone have any funny jokes they'd like to share to cheer me up, please

[nsd_user663_4625]

Hi becks,

Sorry you are feeling pants, me too

No good at telling jokes. Read Davofgy threads, he posts jokes everyday

Hope you feel better soon

Gaynor x

[nsd_user663_10013]

Hi Becks

Sorry you're feeling low - here's a joke for you

What do you cal the useless bit of skin at the end of a willy?

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a man

Makes me smile everytime

[nsd_user663_5028]

Hi Becks

sorry your feeling down hope this helps .............

A women standing na ked looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband,

"i look horrible,fat and ugly, pay me a compliment darling".

Her husband replies "your eyesights spot on love".

......... i'll get me coat ................

[nsd_user663_10013]

Hi Becks

sorry your feeling down hope this helps .............

A women standing na ked looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband,

"i look horrible,fat and ugly, pay me a compliment darling".

Her husband replies "your eyesights spot on love".

......... i'll get me coat ................

clear off

here's another

What's the best way for a woman to get rid of excess fat?

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Divorce him. haha

[nsd_user663_10013]

and finally cos I've run out now

A traveling saleswoman is driving toward home in Arizona when she sees an Indian woman hitchhiking. She stops the car and the Indian woman gets in. After a bit of small talk, the Indian woman notices a brown bag on the front seat. "What's in the bag?", she asks. "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband". The Indian woman is silent for a while, then nods and says,

"you made a good trade".

Boom Boom

Hope you're feeling better

[nsd_user663_2952]

Brilliant!!

Thanks guys!! Those made me smile!

Thanks Pookie, I laughed out loud!

Bradders, your coat is on the back of the door. (But thanks for trying!) x :rolleyes:

Gaynor,

I've just looked up Davofgy posts. Comic genius and I've only read the first two.

I think certainly they will cheer me up however I can't see much work getting done now!! :eek:

Thanks. I knew this forum would get me through. Feeling much brighter!! Thanks for being there!

Becks xx

[nsd_user663_5028]

ok last one before i insult someone ..

Paddy and his wife were discussing their s ex life when he suggests trying the wheelbarrow position.

She said ok on two conditions first if it hurts we stop right away and second we don't go past my mums :D

....putting coat on and leaving as you read ................

[nsd_user663_4625]

Good one Bradders.

Glad you are feeling better Becks, keep on smilin

G x

[nsd_user663_1658]

Hi becks

ooooo i missed the jokes lol hahaha

heres one....

why do married woman weigh more then single woman?

single woman come home look whats in the fridge & go to bed

married woman come home look whats in bed & go to the fridge