Here we go again

Hi, new to the forum but we share a common ground.

I need to get this off my chest ( no pun intended ;) ) and what better place I think that here, where we share common ground. So if I go on , please bear with me.

I need to quit.

I have smoked (properly, ie inhaling) since I was 17 and I am now 35.

I can't recollect the last day I spent without taking nicotine in some sort of form. Whenever I have stopped, it's been on patches or lozenges. I hasn't made me stop.

So I ask myself why do I need to quit?

Basically, all the usual stuff , ie my health, money and the general sense of self loathing.

However I have a young daughter now and a fiancee who hates me smoking. She can smell it on me even if I haven't smoked for hours. Something about metal in my breath...

Worst still, is she stopped dead 3 years ago with very little problem and can't understand why I can't.

So , how am I going to go about it?

I have read Allen Carr and watched the video, in fact I could probably quote the half the book from memory. What the guy says makes perfect sense, but alas I still haven't stopped...

I have done a hypnosis session but that failed dismally. I am not very open to suggestion and actually sat through the session completely conscious...

So why, have I failed so far I ask myself ?

I think the underlying reason is a sense of rebellion. When I started smoking, it annoyed my parents. It annoy's my fiancee. It's really immature but it is still there subconsciously.

I think "Why should I stop, I enjoy it and who are you to stop me doing something I enjoy?"

But I don't really enjoy it. It is a habit, an addiction.

I enjoy going to the pub, working out but can quite happily not do either for weeks.

So I am here on this forum. I am going to stop tomorrow without any patches/ lozenges or anything else and take the hit.

Allen Carr goes on about the withdrawal being mild. I disagree, and that's why I have failed I think. I get light headed, my feet feel like they are boiling (probably improved circulation) and I start feeling depressed. I suffered with depression as a kid and the feeling is the same.

But I have to do it.

Sorry for rambling on but I needed to get this off my chest and would appreciate any feedback.

Cheers Jools

17 Replies

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  • whyquit.com

    If the web site doesn't help you on it's own then go and see your doctor for some support and they can point you in the direction of your local stop smoking project!

    Both of the above worked for me.

    I am on day 39 today and feel so proud for getting this far! :cool:

    To be honest after I was directed to the web site whyquit.com I don't think I ever wanted to smoke again after reading it!!

    You can do it!

    Be strong you can beat it!!

    Good luck for tomorrow! :)

  • Hi Jools. I can identify with the rebellian bit. Even now I get that sort of thought. I've now started thinking that, by stopping smoking, I've confounded some people who just knew that I would only stop when I was in my box.

    I needed Champix to get me to actually stop (from your Doctor), but I know it's this site that's kept me off them. Read, read and post - the people here will help you, and you'll be helping others.

    So well done you on making the decision - use whatever you have to to actually stop, and it almost hurts me to admit it, but it does get easier as you go along (but you have to keep vigilent for the sneaky craves).

  • Hi Jools :)

    Well done deciding to stop smoking I can totally understand the rebillion bit in you I had it as well and when folks tried telling me to quit I just like you dug my heels in and carried on regardless

    I didn't try hypnosis but I did read allen Carr and like you while what he said made sense it didn't get me to quit [I used champix]

    I think ther fact that you have admitted to yourself that you

    [A] don't enjoy it and

    that it's a habit and an addiction wilreally help you this time

    Below is my standard welcome and advice post which I try and give all new members

    Welcome to the forum and well done on the decision to quit possibly one of the most important you will ever make and you will be losing nothing but you will regain control of your life and that has to be good

    You will find all the help and support you need on here as we all help each other just like a family we are here for you every step of the way cheering the good days and sympathising with the bad but the good far outweigh the bad

    Read the posts on here you will find a lot of tips and advice and in the signatures of a lot you will find links to other sites just click on them Here are 2 I find very good to start you off whyquit.com and woofmang.com Read, read and then read some more as the more you read and learn about why you smoked and about your addiction the easier your quit will be

    This link is good for the psychological part of quittinghttp://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Symptoms.html

    Post often to let us know how you're doing, to rant, rave have a moan whatever you like pretty much anything goes on here OK

    Love

    Marg

  • Hi Jools... yeah i can relate to the rebel too. Smoking set me apart from others, made me stand out as the girl with an edge almost... stupid i know... but it kept me smoking for years. I'm quitting cold turkey. I've read Allen Carrs easyway also, and it didnt work for me. But you know, different things work for different people.

    If you're determined then you will do it! Good luck to you.

  • This forum did it for me. I was a rebel. Then a secret smoking quitter. The links and the great support and posting my own experiences to help others was the key. It still is to be fair. Recently had a wobble and came straight back here and posted. Lots of people seem to have found their way with champix but many others had done it using patches, ct, etc. Its good you have acknowledged it though! Well done!

  • This forum did it for me. I was a rebel. Then a secret smoking quitter. The links and the great support and posting my own experiences to help others was the key. It still is to be fair. Recently had a wobble and came straight back here and posted. Lots of people seem to have found their way with champix but many others had done it using patches, ct, etc. Its good you have acknowledged it though! Well done!

    Jools

    Lots of different ways, means and reasons to quit. I think we have all been brow beaten enough to KNOW the reasons but doing it is a different thing. Im a bit of a rebel myself but used that inwardly and actively put myself in situations where i would normally smoke i.e. the pub, football (im West Ham and this WAS NOT easy lol) to almost test my resolve. I did use Champix, very good for starting your quit, but going CT was hellish, which i think was from the Champix NOT the fags. Everyone is different though and what is right for others maybe completely wrong for you. As has been said in other replys without doubt the best aid and support for your quit is this site and if i was to give you any advice it would be as soon as you can hook up with people who are giving up or gave up at roughly the same time as you (the same month), Such as us (The Octo's) or The Novo's etc etc these informal groups are a fatastic help in so many ways.

    Anyway sorry for rambling, good luck with your quit and dont be afraid to talk, seek advice, rant, question, cry, laugh, moan and bitch and especially celebrate each of your achievements HERE there are always people who have been, are, or will be in eaxctly the same situation as you

    As they always say ...IT WILL PASS and IT DOES GET BETTER

  • Hi and welcome to our online family.

    Nobody can force you to stop no even yourself, that's when you dig in your heels and begin to believe the lies and like smoking and all it entails. Do you want to stop, having a beautiful daughter is a good reason to, I am sure you would never want her to smoke?

    Perhaps you could have a read of some of the info on the websites in my signature and you may find you do in fact want to stop for yourself, there you will find answers to the questions about nicotine addiction etc. Allen Carr's book is good, so along with that, the info on here, encouragement from us and willingness from you, you can't loose.

    Look forward to hearing from you.

    Jackie

  • I think you can choose to be as rebellious as you like.. yeah its nice, but the medium you are using the rebel with here is slowly.. and surely killing you. Deep down every smoker knows and understands the damage they are doing to their own bodies when they smoke, and a great many attempt to quit because of this.

    Although we all probably love to rebel, heck knows i sure do!!!, I think killing yourself in the process to make your point in the end is defeating the whole object of the exercise. Being individual is something we all never stop striving for, but surely not so much it puts you in a very poor state of health.. or worse?

    The problem with smoking is that it keeps taking lives every day.. and not just one or two either.. check the real statistics... they are all published out there somewhere.. so my rebellion now has become not smoking to be individual... its more, making a success of a quit attempt so i can stick two fingers up at the tobacco companies AND the governments who've all made a pretty fortune out of my money and indeed everyone elses.

    Basically matey? wake up and smell the roses.. and they'll certainly smell better in the weeks to come too. Make a go of this quit, i challenge you.

  • Hi Jools

    Welcome to the forum and well done on the decision to quit....you have taken the hardest step believe me.

    It can take years to stop. Look around here and see just how many of us are on quit attempt 3, 4, 5 etc etc...thats not including all the "Iwill stop tomorrow" promises we have made.

    The Alan Carr book is fab but I could not manage with just that, tried 2 years ago and lasted 9 days...we alol need different things but the one common thing we all have on here is each other. It really does help. We all need support thats why we are here and this is support from like minded people.

    The very very best of luck Jools, find the right way for you hun.

    xx

  • Morning Jools

    There sounds like there are aspects of reasons for smoking which mirror mine, but when all is said and done the biggest hurdle is really wanting to quit, this I found for me was different than the fact that I should, that I stank, the cost and self -loathing I managed to continue smoking for many years in spite of all those factors, had used several NRT types to try and wean myself off. Didn't really work for me. And it didn't work cause I didn't really want to stop, oh had it taken no effort and using the NRT took no will power whatsoever I would've continued the quit but that isn't the case.

    I still used NRT gum for 3 days at the beginning of this quit, was slightly demented as the about of nicotine was so low. I was in withdrawal, so all I did was extend the withdrawal.

    As to depression, I'll say I have the quit blues too, am now using a variety of things to combat this including, cutting back on caffine, drinking camomile tea. It's a relearning process for me, every little upset needs to be dealt with without a fag. In the past I would've had a fag, sorted the situ, had another fag, so I need to give myself time before I deal with something or I'm just *furious*. If you want this quit you will find your way. Your mindful which is ahead of alot of people, regardless of what your Fiance thinks, your quit is different, be strong, be prepared and reward yourself for undertaking a serious commitment to no longer be an addict to nicotine.

    M

  • It's real simple. You can only quit when you are ready to quit. Not for your partner, not for your daughter or because it's fashionable to quit. If you want to and you recognize that your addicted to smoking just like people who use Cocaine or heroin (You are a junkie)and that you need stop or you are going to die a horrible painful death that going to tear those who love you apart. I'm not preaching this to be mean or to be on a soap box. I just want smoking to be part of the past for everyone. I started smoking at the age of 13 and am 42 now. I have not had a smoke in 106 days, it's been the hardest thing I have ever done and I think the hardest thing I'll ever have to do.

    My look on things has to do with the fact that I want to live to see my son become a man and have a family. I want to see him happy as a adult and getting ahead in life. Quitting smoking is proving to my son that anything can be done.... ANYTHING..... if you put your mind to it. I think it may be one of the best lessons I can pass on to him. He's seen me smoke for 13 years and I think I've done something I can be proud of. Good luck and I hope you can get a quit going.

    * Steps off the soap box.....smiles and walks out*

  • First day gone now

    Hi

    First of all thanks to everyone for the replies. I have read the info in some the links and actually thought I knew everything I needed to know about quitting , but I was wrong.

    I also think that having "come out" with my reasons for quiting and reasons for smoking, strengthened my resolve, as well as that some of you also felt similiarly rebellious.

    I am glad to say I have not smoked / taken any nicotine subs sinced 8pm last night and feel very good...

    I have felt a subconscious battle of wills going on in my head, to have "one last smoke" but never gave in. I had one last smoke at 8pm last night....

    I have also felt stomach cramps, but eating a chocolate biscuit helped...

    So onto day two... :)

  • Hi

    First of all thanks to everyone for the replies. I have read the info in some the links and actually thought I knew everything I needed to know about quitting , but I was wrong.

    I also think that having "come out" with my reasons for quiting and reasons for smoking, strengthened my resolve, as well as that some of you also felt similiarly rebellious.

    I am glad to say I have not smoked / taken any nicotine subs sinced 8pm last night and feel very good...

    I have felt a subconscious battle of wills going on in my head, to have "one last smoke" but never gave in. I had one last smoke at 8pm last night....

    I have also felt stomach cramps, but eating a chocolate biscuit helped...

    So onto day two... :)

    Hey well done you...trust me that first day is the worst one..you are now on the road. Take each day at a time love, you have done one therefore you can do another and another....count the days to a week then weeks to a month and then months..

    If you check out the month 2 and month 3 rooms at the moment we are all saying we cant belive we are there and trust me, that can be you very very soon.

    keep posting and good luck for day 2...xx

  • Jools

    My twopennerth for what it's worth.

    Smoked for thirty years, 15-20 a day. Never tried to give up. Once went 24 hours without a fag just to see if I could, but other than that never bothered. like you I "enjoyed it".

    Got flu - hence the user name - couldn't smoke despite manfully smoking through every previous cough and snivel.

    I haven't given up, I just haven't started smoking again. I've said tongue in cheek that I intend to start again when i'm 87.

    Day 33, don't miss them, £160 up, still got "a bit of a throat" but I do feel better for it. Cravings amount to a passing thought - I'll go for a fag, followed by another thought - I don't do that anymore. Eating lovehearts, parma violets, refreshers and drumstick lollies - we all gotta have a vice.

    Go for it, the bad moments are just that, moments. Do it for you, do it to stick two fingers up to the government - think of the duty you aint paying, do it to stick two fingers up to the non-smokers - they are going to have to find the extra tax we used pay voluntarily on each packet :)

    Buy yourself, your better half and your little one something nice at the end of the week [pizza & pepsi all round tonight, I'm in everyones good books and it's cost me 4 days fags] Picking up a comic, a magazine or a bunch of flowers works wonders and they don't need to know that Mr Benson & Mr Hedges have paid for them:D

  • You can do it

    Hi jools.

    I was a rebel like almost everyone else on here. The more my parents kept on to me about smoking the less I would think about quitting!! Then one day on about 26 November (with a chest infection) I said to myself I'm not going to smoke anymore. So I slapped on a patch which I got from my smoking nurse about a month ago and haven't had a smoke yet. (Even though the craving is bad you get help and support from friends on this website.) Myself I think """thinking of giving up smoking""" is worse than actually stopping!

    I actually told my parents about a week after I stopped smoking because they noticed I wasn't smoking and I told them in a bookshop, and my dad gave me a big cuddle and a kiss.( the manager wondered what was going on!!!).

    Go to your Doctors and see a smoking nurse to get some aides and just do it. Also log on to this brilliant website where you will get help and support from other people and mates who know and feel what you are feeling.

    Good luck and Best wishes. We know you can do it.

    Julie xx

  • Bottom Line.......

    Jools? Hate to say it, but go and look at your little one while she sleeps.....

    Do you have dreams for her?

    Do you see her in your eye, grown up, rebelling like her dad used to?

    A young woman of whom you are inordinately proud, the woman that no other could even hold a torch to?

    Look at your little girl, stroke her cheek, wonder in the amazing sense that is life.

    My husband died at 33 of cancer Jools. He is never going to get to see his little girl do all those things that you hope to see yours do.

    Please make the choice to live and live healthily...

    Be the Daddy that that little angel deserves xxxxxxx

    You have all that you need within you, but only you can make the choice as to when you use those skills xxxxxxxxxxxxx

    With you for the long haul x

  • Jools, when I quit it was because I just got fed up with smoking controlling my life.

    All the reasons to quit:

    Money

    Health

    Wife nagging

    Anti social.

    All important factors, but strangely none stronger than my urge to smoke!

    I loved to smoke, it was pleasurable. I didn't care about the cost, my health wasn't an issue, the wife knew I smoked before she married me, and two fingers to those who moaned about me enjoying a ciggie!

    But I did quit, on 22 August this year, I used patches and lozenges.

    The reason?

    Because I wanted to prove to myself that I was in control of my own life. I wanted to prove to myself that I made the decisions. I quit because I was strong enough to quit. I am stronger than the weed! Wicked!

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