It could have been worse I suppose but last Saturday night I was completely hammered - we had been to a posh ball from 7pm til 4am so you can imagine how much alcohol was drunk!
Anyway, we got home and sat at the kitchen table having a little drink before bed, Ian (husband) was smoking and I was having a small drop of scotch. I hadn't thought about ciggies all night (as I have been for a long time now) and I have never been bothered about Ian smoking in front of me. BUT Ian left a ciggie smoking in the ash-tray while he went to the loo - I took it and had a drag
It made me choke and my eyes water so I immediately put it back. I know I will never take another puff because there was NOTHING enjoyable about a mouthful of disgusting smoke and chemicals!
I am SO mad with myself though. I swore I'd never take another puff when I quit on Jan 4th and I haven't until last Saturday. I will never do that again but I feel so stupid for being tempted into having a drag.
There - I feel better for confessing but also feel very stupid
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I am just so cross because I hadn't craved a ciggie all night and it was just an unplanned thought to try a quick drag while I had the opportunity. I know it was because I was drunk but then again, I have been drunk before and not wanted to smoke.
I shall try and think of this 'blip' as a positive thing - I know I hated it so I know I won't be tempted again.
I'd still let you in my stream in yer filthy trousers ...
Am definitely more at home in me filthy trousers than the posh dress worn last Saturday! I think I would have had as much fun playing in the brook too:D
You're probably right - I did used to see ciggies as a little reward, for a day at work, for doing the ironing etc so it could have been part of the reason but I think it was just a drunken silly act that I did just because I could! You know, like nicking the ash-trays, un-screwing the salt pot lids on the pub tables and all those daft things we do ONLY when drunk!
*shuffles off to build a stream*
I don't doubt your ability to - the pond is proof of that!
I am running a month behind you on the quit front but I see your blip as a ....well......blip!
Taking a drag and hating it is a good thing and in some way I would love to do the same and get the same result so I can put the "what if" to bed once and for all!
Good for you for fessing up and realising it was 'orrible!!
Totally lost on BB and your stream comments so will "move along"!!!
Jerry-lee I hope that answers the question that pops into my head once in a while as to what one would be like now, would it be awful etc etc, think you answered it for me - many thanks for that.
Thanks for your replies and support everyone! As ever!
You can certainly take it from me that taking a big puff on a Lambert & Butler is completely horrid. I didn't feel ANY gratification from it - I just choked (and choking on smoke is HORRID) and my eyes watered. All I felt was a mouth full of smoke and chemicals.
I really wish I hadn't done it - I really thought I was better than that:mad:
BUT I'm going to look at it in a positive way and be pleased that I reacted in the same way as a non-smoker would have done.
Therefore I am still a non-smoker and non-smokers DON'T have the occasional puff so I'll never do that again!!
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