Not doing so good..

[nsd_user663_4383]

As it says on the tin, not doing so good today.

I'm having a bad day physically, woke up in pain and can't shake it, mobility very poor today and can't feel my right foot. This is all pretty normal for me but what isn't normal is that I usually smoke a lot on a day like today.

So I'm fighting triggers as well as the other stuff.

I need to remind myself why I quit in the first place.

I quit because I was angry and in a bad mood anyway. I quit because smoking was not not holding up it's side of the bargain. The deal was that it got to slowly kill me but it was supposed to give me a break too. When stuff got too bad it was supposed to give me strength, 5 minutes out where I could say ok I can do this. It stopped doing that. It didn't make the pain or anger less or the mobility better, so I quit.

I want to smoke today because my mind 'believes' it'll make me calmer, I won't cos I know it'll just make me feel sick and worst than I feel now.

Just read this through, please feel free to ignore this rant, but I think it's made me feel better just saying it.

[nsd_user663_4197]

well done on your quit so far and for taking time to write it down on here. Those nic demons are evil critters and will try to make your brain believe that smoking will make you feel ok again.

its just about managing the little devils in the right way and you will beat them. I hold them strongly in a head lock and then smash them when they try and get up!.

You are doing brilliantly, stick with it x

[nsd_user663_4421]

Hope you're feeling better real soon juster!! xxx Keep going, you've done brilliantly so far.

[Deke 9 Years Smoke Free]

Hey Juster,

If there's one place you can let off steam about how your quit is making you feel, then this is it.

And how much better is it to post here than to light up a damned nic-stick!!

Stay with it mate, stay strong. And I hope you feel better soon.

As far as I'm concerned you can "rant" anytime you like.

Deke

[nsd_user663_4420]

I admire you!

Hey! While I was reading your post I was thinking... WOW!!! I really don't have any of the problems you have... I don't know how it feels, this person must be really strong! I admire your strenght! What do you mean you are not doing so good?! You are doing great!! You have a bad day, the demons are tring to use everything they have against you today! And you have the motivation to keep saying no, and you see things clearly!! And you are not smoking!! That's you doing fantastic, even if you feel crapy! You are winning this!

Great JOB!!

[nsd_user663_1733]

Hi Juster

Welcome you are doing fab mate you can get a few bad days with the quit in the first month so you are doing great with your own bad day mixed in if you know what I mean. Hope you feel better really soon mate.xxxxxxx

[nsd_user663_4383]

Hi all, thanks for the support, I'm still a non smoker though it has been close today.

Pain much more manageable now the meds have kicked in and I've got a couple of toes back, which is always nice! It always shifts around thankfully!

Feel a bit embarrassed about my earlier rant but i think i would have smoked if I hadn't offloaded - I have to keep remembering the circle always turns - the moment you're in may feel like forever but it is always shifting around to something else, you just got to hang in there to see what's next.

So anyway cheers all!

[nsd_user663_4421]

Never doubted you Juster I knew you would have the courage to face it!!

Well done xx really am proud of you! ( we quit same day )

[Deke 9 Years Smoke Free]

Hey Juster, well done you!

It's these tough days that test your mettle, and it sounds as if some of your days are pretty damn tough, So, more strength to you for sticking to quitting. Really pleased you are still with us, however close you came to relapse.

Keep strong - keep going.

Deke

[nsd_user663_3728]

Hi Juster

Sorry you didn't feel so good today and also that you had to fight triggers as well as the Nico :eek:Demons sneaky little b........ds that they are but you won that fight well done on that. Next time it will be much easier for you to fight them off

Don't apologise for having a rant we all do at times and better a rant than a fag when all is said and done

I am so pleased you feel better now and that telling us about it helped

Well done on your quit thus far and you've proved beyond a shadow of a coubt that you can beat this addiction

So now it's just a case of Onwards and Upwards

Love

Marg xxxxxxxxxxx

[nsd_user663_3822]

Hi Juster,

Glad you are OK now,what a horrible morning you had,so glad you didn't give in.