I haven't been on here long (despite quitting 10 months ago) as I thought being from the Allen Carr school of thought i would not be welcome! i was wrong! Anyway, reading my posts I think I am slightly crazy! I am full of the advice, the reasons why not to smoke etc etc - and yet... this past week I have become OBSESSED with cigs! Maybe this forum is not helping, am talking about it too much?
Last night, yes on stop smoking day, I had to stop myself walking into a shop and asking for 10 cigs...... NO!!!!!!! I am boring myself. I am usually fine, but these past days I am looking for any reason to go and get the cigs... what stops me is the guilt!! Imagine telling my friends, family, work colleagues who have all been so proud of me.. I would have to smoke in secret? Who wants that!!! My problem, is I am going through a rough patch... and looking back to a point in my life where I was totally happy. This time was when I was younger, you could smoke in pubs/clubs, I had a better job, and I was incredibly slim! ITs funny, I dont think oh I could stop eating chocolate, I could go to a club, I could change job... No. I think - I'll get a pack of 10 and it will all be OK. HOW STUPID!! I am writing this for my own benefit really.
Since quitting and not spening Â£6.00 a day, I have so much more money! I never run out of money at the end of the month - before I would survive 2 weeks with no cash - forgoing all trips out, and even food! I would rather buy the cigs!!! SO, no I cant go back to that!! For me, at my age, I didnt have any health downsides when smoking. Its purely money. Thats my story anyway - but then who knows????
I do apologise to anyone who has just quit who is reading my pathetic rants... I am being SILLY!