I have a split personality?!? HELP!

I haven't been on here long (despite quitting 10 months ago) as I thought being from the Allen Carr school of thought i would not be welcome! i was wrong! Anyway, reading my posts I think I am slightly crazy! I am full of the advice, the reasons why not to smoke etc etc - and yet... this past week I have become OBSESSED with cigs! Maybe this forum is not helping, am talking about it too much?

Last night, yes on stop smoking day, I had to stop myself walking into a shop and asking for 10 cigs...... NO!!!!!!! I am boring myself. I am usually fine, but these past days I am looking for any reason to go and get the cigs... what stops me is the guilt!! Imagine telling my friends, family, work colleagues who have all been so proud of me.. I would have to smoke in secret? Who wants that!!! My problem, is I am going through a rough patch... and looking back to a point in my life where I was totally happy. This time was when I was younger, you could smoke in pubs/clubs, I had a better job, and I was incredibly slim! ITs funny, I dont think oh I could stop eating chocolate, I could go to a club, I could change job... No. I think - I'll get a pack of 10 and it will all be OK. HOW STUPID!! I am writing this for my own benefit really.

Since quitting and not spening £6.00 a day, I have so much more money! I never run out of money at the end of the month - before I would survive 2 weeks with no cash - forgoing all trips out, and even food! I would rather buy the cigs!!! SO, no I cant go back to that!! For me, at my age, I didnt have any health downsides when smoking. Its purely money. Thats my story anyway - but then who knows????

I do apologise to anyone who has just quit who is reading my pathetic rants... I am being SILLY!

5 Replies

  • Hi Cheeky,

    It may well be that the forum is making you think more about smoking, its been said in the past!

    There is a good section on Whyquit.com about relapse prevention which might be worth a look. Allen Carr is great but it didn't click 100% for me but in conjunction with whyquit it was great.

    You can see how your thought process is going, but ultimately you need to get your head back in the right place. It wasn't smoking that engineered a better situation for you in the past its just that in that better situation you also smoked, but you know that. The think you need to do is reinforce that to yourself.

    BTW you are very welcome, everyone is. NRT and chmapix etc have their place but it seems that the people who stay quit the best are those that have the right attitude, gained through re-education!

  • Hi Cheeky

    I agree with all that nick is telling you have a read of the links try to get your mind set back. Last year I quit and at the last part of my month nine I caved so please be carefull because i was so gutted and had to start all over again because i was not happy smoking and knew it did nothing I thought it would. You will get over this sticky patch Im sure.xxxxx

  • Hey Cheeky :D

    No you are not being silly and it is not a pathetic rant but take note of what Nic is saying and Linda and now me, go and read the links there are lots of them all good but I think Whyquit is really good I used and still use it a lot

    Deep down you know that to start again will solve nothing or you wouldn't stop yourself buying some yet you do not WHY because you don't want to it's as simple as that

    So repeat after me I do not have a split personality and I am not pathetic

    Come on here and have a rant whenever you need to we all do at times



  • Awww my sweetie cheeky-your not going through a mid-life crisis are you babes, and blaming it ALL on not smoking? Come on.... you're strong, you've done it!!! slap a wet fish round yer cheeks, dust yourself down and regain that fabulous will power you have xxxx

  • Mid life Crisis? I'm only 32! haha... maybe I am, a little. Thank you for all your words of advice. I have had a look at some of the other links which have been helpful. Allen Carr was great, but, I think it is wrong to believe that using it is the only way. EVERYONE is different and what works for one, may not work for everyone. It has worked for me - in that I quit, but I do need support as time goes on. Which I have found here!!!

    The cigs are evil, why ever did we start smoking! I have also found comfort from those friends of mine who have never smoked - they were there through the good times and did not need a cig. I read somewhere that people only smoke to make themselves feel like non smokers (maybe Allen Carr??) I think that is excellent advice. Certainly true for me.

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