Who am I?

So many positive stories on these pages, which is great news! Why did any of us ever start smoking.... Anyway. I quit almost ten months ago. I quit because my younger brother suggested that I read Allen Carr's easyway, I did and quit just like that. To begin with it was amazing! I felt so energised, I felt amazing! I moved house, changed car and felt that I was a new person. I had no assoiciations. Now this is where the problems arise. I am not sure who the hell I am now?

My life was so based with cigarettes. My days would be full of highs and then crashing lows - as I craved each cigarette. These days, my life is constant. And... dare I say it, dull. I am not so outgoing and I never call anyone. My partner has even suggested I take up the cigs again! I just dont feel myself. In the past 10 months I have had two cigs. Both times I felt like a failiure and felt even more depressed.... I know, I can still use the phone, still go for a walk outside... but its just not the same.

I am at a crossroads now. Its been 10 months and I have no physical cravings. But, I miss them. I feel like I am old before my time now... Any advice would be great. I am not about to fall off the wagon, but why am I still thinking about it?

HELP!

9 Replies

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  • You spent years smoking and now you don't its bound to take some getting used to, and it does feel like being a bit too grown up and letting go of the last bit of rebellion.

    Try not to look backwards, but forwards at how not smoking will make your life better.

    Do you really want to keep a constant eye on how many cigs you have so you don't run out or do the midnight drive to the 24hr garage to stock up?

    Do you want to smell like and ash tray?

    Do you want to cough and wheeze when you do a little light exercise?

    Do you want to increase the chances of life threatening diseases?

    Try to accept that thinking about smoking in a nostalgic way is normal, but by quitting you have not made a sacrifice you have won!

    All the best

    Nic

    P.s Read the book again!

  • Hi Cheeky Benito

    I don't know if I can help you at all but I will try

    You say that in the almost 10 months since you quit you have moved house, changed your car and that you have more energy and felt amazing and felt like a new person your life was full of highs and lows as you struggled to quit all perfectly normal I think for whatever reason you miss that struggle

    Could you maybe get a dog this would force you out for walks and get you meeting people again, go out as you used to the only difference is that you are a Non Smoker now

    I really don't know how else to help you but maybe someone else on here will have some other ideas

    Also take notice of what Nic has said it makes an awful lot of sense I personally don't like what I see if I look back so try to look to the future

    Remember the old saying Life is what you make it and you only get to live it once after all

    All the best

    Marg

  • I shall read the book again! Thank you for your advice. I sometimes have these off days! (hence why I looked for this site!) All the reasons listed above as to why I should not smoke are totally valid and why I quit in the first place!

    Its amazing the reasons you can come up for starting again... I think really though, to start spening £6 a day on cigs... I simply would find that tough to do now - I couldnt afford it before let alone now! Also.. you cant smoke in pubs... the list is endless.

    I would love a dog - I have a cat! No room for a dog alas... I think the cat prefers me as a non smoker. I did worry that she was a passive smoker.

    I wish everyone who is quitting loads of luck. I just need to remind myself of the joy I have that I am no longer a slave to the addiction.... I will survive!!!! I will find a new me, a better me!

  • Hi Benito :D

    Glad to have been of some help as well as re-reading the book why don't you click on some of the links in the signatures on here you won't have far to look they are very good 2 I find really good are whyquit.com and woofmang.com come on here as much as you want read, rant,rave whatever no one on here minds as we all help each other just like a very big family we are good luck with finding a new you but what was wrong with the old you apart from the fags HA HA

    All the best

    Marg

  • Hey Benito,

    Great stuff stopping and wow 10 months ago! Pretty much easy street for you now...or it should be.

    Marg and Nic have given some great advice and insightful too. I was just wondering if I could add to that and ask on what terms did you stop smoking? Yeah, I know you mentioned AC, but remind me, he does say that you shouldn't change your life because of stopping smoking.

    AC is a great read and it's amazing how it can change a person's perspective around. But did you know that he only takes you so far....just like all the quit aids currently around. You have a honeymoon period through the new-ness of it all which eventually becomes the usual hackneyed lifestyle...bah :(

    Nothing fekin' new happened today! I've smelt that spring flower properly last year 'cos I stopped smoking in Jan 08. You really should get back out there and re-engage with life if for no other reason than life's too short. Without the drug in us are our brain's neural pathways not reconnecting from a time before we smoked....spotty teenagers :eek::eek:

    'Round about now I start banging on about read, read, reading and education....which it wouldn't do you any harm if you haven't tried the various links in members' sigs.

    Keep quit,

    Cav

  • So many positive stories on these pages, which is great news! Why did any of us ever start smoking.... Anyway. I quit almost ten months ago. I quit because my younger brother suggested that I read Allen Carr's easyway, I did and quit just like that. To begin with it was amazing! I felt so energised, I felt amazing! I moved house, changed car and felt that I was a new person. I had no assoiciations. Now this is where the problems arise. I am not sure who the hell I am now?

    My life was so based with cigarettes. My days would be full of highs and then crashing lows - as I craved each cigarette. These days, my life is constant. And... dare I say it, dull. I am not so outgoing and I never call anyone. My partner has even suggested I take up the cigs again! I just dont feel myself. In the past 10 months I have had two cigs. Both times I felt like a failiure and felt even more depressed.... I know, I can still use the phone, still go for a walk outside... but its just not the same.

    I am at a crossroads now. Its been 10 months and I have no physical cravings. But, I miss them. I feel like I am old before my time now... Any advice would be great. I am not about to fall off the wagon, but why am I still thinking about it?

    HELP!

    Yes I miss them to but I smoked my share and am done with it.I have bad days like today but I get over it quickly.I have access to smokes 24 7 so if I want one I can.......I hope you get through your day........

  • Wow, Dubbs - go man!

    I live in the 'second city' in the UK - it's amazing how difficult it is to get hold of tobacco here .. well done you! Imagine, 24/7 ... Wow!!

    Yes it is crazy isnt it.......:eek:

  • ...... My days would be full of highs and then crashing lows - as I craved each cigarette. These days, my life is constant. And... dare I say it, dull.....

    Tobacco is indeed a cruel and heartless mistress...

    The annoying artefacts of a chunk of our lives spent smoking are that we occasionally don our “rose-tinted-smoking-goggles” and take a depressing peer into the past.

    Your 10 months is superb but be aware that it is still not a huge distance away from your old habit and those goggles are quite new and work well.

    Unfortunately they speak with a forked tongue and many things that you blame on tobacco cessation are either your memory playing tricks or things that would have changed regardless.

    As many have found to their cost, a return to smoking doesn’t return you to who and what you were when you were a smoker, it just turns you into the person you were yesterday but now a smokier, stinkier, poorer sort of person.

    Neither tobacco nor its nemesis NRT claim to have time-travelling capabilities. You need to accept that and create a new you now without the fags. If the old you was preferable try achieving it without the fags.

    Always remember that smoking a handful of dried leaves never actually did anything positive for you and the positive effects and memories that you recall were all coming from you not the fag.

    The task ahead is to achieve those feelings again smoke-free.

    Many achieve it and so much more.

    Even at 10 months, stay strong and move forward. :)

  • I will survive the evil monster trying to trick me!!! I feel much better today. Just need to get on with life. I never thought I would quit, and I guess I didnt know quite what to expect. I am still the same person, I just dont smoke. I only miss it from time to time - certainly not when in a pub, car, club etc etc... I know all the reasons for not smoking!! But every now and then... it creeps up on me. But if I went and smoked now, in five mins time it would be over, I would feel terrible and, yet I would feel the same - so there is no point!!!

    Its a case of re training, I do not miss many of the cigs I thought I would - like cig breaks at work!!

    Good luck everyone, will no doubt be back!!

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