This is how it feels for me, I wonder if others feel the same way.
In the early days of quitting it is all exciting and new. You start off by counting the hours and get excited by the prospect of new milestones etc.
As time goes on being smoke free becomes normality, and I think that is why many people find they slip up after 12 weeks or so. Keeping the resolve going becomes more difficult and that is why the right frame of mind is essential.
I've tried to convince myself that there is no enjoyment to smoking, but that doesn't work, I know that the enjoyment is minimal, the vast majority of cigarettes did not give pleasure just relief from withdrawal and you can not experience the odd one here and there, you have to take the 99.7% of crap to experience the 0.3% of buzz.
Over time you forget the cost of the 99.7% in terms of health, wealth, acceptability and slavery. Not smoking is the norm but you miss the old days when it was so much part of you and feel that some how you are on your own in dealing with everything. OK the use of cigarettes in the past was basically to relieve the cravings that built up since we had the last smoke, but we spent so long with the perception that they somehow helped that it is not easy to shake the idea now.
The most important thing for me to remember is never think I can get away with just one. I know because I am experiencing it that the temptation to "cheat" is bubbling under the surface, it must not be allowed to break through, I can not mess this quit up like I have done so many in the past, and I will not.
Getting and keeping the mind in the right place is not a one stop deal it and needs regular work to maintain it, and that work will be done!
Written by
NicFirth
10 Years Smoke Free
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It's not so good when u lose the excitment - I mean yea, it's exciting at first, but for me it became a way of life (i.e. fags weren't in my routine, and I was too busy to have one).
Keep a good mental attitude Nic, and u will be fine. Don't let the volcano erupt, keep it asleep
Keep it up Nic, ur doin so so well - please don't spoil it
Hi Nic, l know EXACTLY what you mean. In the beginning, it IS a feeling of excitement and euphoria as you battle the craves. Each crave overcome, leaves you a little bit smug.
As you say, as time goes by, the craves become less and less, and when they do come, they are more easily dealt with, making the whole business just another everyday occurrence.
I noticed around the 8th & 9th month that l could easily start smoking again - l didn't, thank God, - but l felt as if l would like to. NO, that is not altogether true. :eek: I didn't WANT to smoke again, but was fed up with NOT smoking, if that makes any sort of sense. :confused:
Thankfully, this has now passed. It just shows Nic, one can never ever let ones guard down.
I very much believe alot of people go this way , i stopped many years ago for a long time and i do believe its because i wasnt educated on being stopped that i started again. I had a quick smoke from one of my pals and i was soon back into the swing of things.
My point is this ..and your point also( i believe ) is that in the early days of my quit i wouldnt have accepted that just one draw..as i was focused and determined to stop , as time goes on i think you start to believe you have beat your addiction and you amost want to show yourself that you have so you maybe try a lil puff just for old times sake.
The truth as you well know Nic is that you cant mess with your addiction and that ahh feeling is only caused from the withdrawal from the previous cigarette ...your fully aware of the trap as ive read from your posts.
I think its just that losing an old friend feeling you have been getting recently mate. You start to think that you were happier smoking as you liked that relaxation feeling when u smoked...again you know now why you felt this.
I think your at the stage now were you can become a non smoker for life, as your focus now has to be on not allowing yourself to go back to the old ways....you wont have cravings as such just fond memories....these can just be as lethal as giving into a crave. And you just need to remind yourself that it wasnt that cigarette you were enjoying ..its was the situation .. as we know now from EDUCATION that you never enjoy a cigarette ...you just get slight relief from the previous withdrawal!!
You have been a fab help to everyone Nic on these boards so keep up the good work
Hi Nic - I think I know where you are coming from and having fallen just after six months I now know what to look for. Please, please don't let the (as someone has said) volcano erupt.
You have done extremely well and have come a long way on this quit. Your mind, as you say, is set to continue with this quit. Keep it like that.
I didn't WANT to smoke again, but was fed up with NOT smoking, if that makes any sort of sense.
Yeah, that makes perfect sense!
It seems to me that this quit is mutating, like a virus. Different phases following each other and each battle needs to be overcome with before the war is finally won.
Currently I recognise that I am finding it tougher to stay positive, and as such "at risk". So the guard is well and truly up and I'm ready to bob and weave!
Don’t forget that very little, if any, of your cravings had anything to do with physical withdrawal. I’m sure, if you’re anything like me, you can revisit your smoking habit once many months into your quit and start to place your fags in the piles marked “those my body needed†and “those I just smokedâ€. The latter pile being somewhat colossal compared to the former.
The upshot of all this, and to me the whole purpose of forums like this, is that you have 19 years of a smoke filled habit to re-educate. Irrespective of the different stance that we take on various quit aids everyone ultimately has to tackle this problem and how we do it can be the difference between a successful or a failed quit.
The daily triggers, hunger, cars, beer, leaving buildings, getting home, etc etc we deal with from day one and we’re mentally prepared. The harder ones are drunken parties, holidays, huge stress, bereavement etc and we have to understand that these triggers will arrive and we must be ready for them.
There’s also the evil trigger that just pops up one day for no logical reason in month 11 and sucks you back into slavery.
I find that forum participation maintains a healthy interest in the whole sordid subject and being around those who are struggling keeps your own former struggle real and still focussed.
It’s so easy to forget our slavery and our rose-tinted glasses give us a view of happy contented smokers and we seem to think it wasn’t all that bad after all and so we slip…
What always keeps me sharp is trying to remember which of those many daily smokes I actually enjoyed and like chilly says, it wasn’t the fag it was the situation…
For me keeping motivated has been based on determination, positivity and excitement.
At the moment I'm operating mostly on determination, which still works but is trickier.
Perhaps I need to get used to this way of handling the quit, or maybe I can regain some of the excitement, become more positive or even use new techniques to remain motivated, only time will tell.
I know there are many routes through this phase, which don't involve failure, perhaps I will be fortunate enough to find the easiest route. But what ever route I end up taking it will not be the one with a fag in my hand. I am not prepared to take the 99.7% of crap that comes with smoking, ever again.
Thanks to everyone,
My volcano will not erupt (oooh that sounds bad;))
My volcano will not erupt (oooh that sounds bad;))
....er yes, it does! :eek:
I went through a phase a couple of months ago, when I realised that people had stopped commenting how well I was doing, and in fact they seeme to be getting on with their lives oblivious to my "great accomplishment"!
At that stage, though, I knew I could come on here for a wee pat on the back, and a "Jolly well done, Barbara" - you guys rock, have I told you all lately that I love you?:rolleyes:
Anyways, now I have reached the stage of "just getting on with my life". I do think of fags now and again, in fact I still very occassionally get that thought "I'll just have a wee cigarette first" but I can laugh at that now.
I am only too aware though that I must always be on my guard. Three people fairly close to me have recently started smoking again. One after 14months, and one after four years!
Never have that first puff, and you'll never again be a smoker - easy innit?:cool:
these feelings are, in my opinion, a general part of the quit process.
In a way they are like a reminder that, now that the "new quit euphoria" has died down, we must be on our guard for those occassions when the desire for a "good" ciggie rears up its head.
The difference now though is, that the Urge, or craving is not nearly as bad as it used to be (remember just how tough the first few days were) and is really quite easy to sweep aside.
Yes, the initial determination has gone, BUT, it should now be replaced by a dogged resistance to any feelings of "F$%£ it, i'll just have ONE.
Beakjul Bulgul Nic
(Indomitable Spirit to the non Martial among you :D)
That is what you now have and even though these feelings may occur, they should be so easy to get rid of.
As an aside, but also a reminder to me, I still keep my quit counter and get the odd thrill of a new milestone reached, and today is no different (8 months) BUT what really makes me happy is the fact that it shows £1597 odd not spent on smoking.
WHAT A LOT OF MONEY!!!!!!!!!!
If someone were to walk up and give you that you would be well chuffed.
That is another spur to stay away from them..
Stay strong Nic i know you can.
But, even people like yourself, who are constantly helping and encouraging others sometimes need a few words of encouragement to help see you through. I hope the replies here today have done their job.
these feelings are, in my opinion, a general part of the quit process.
In a way they are like a reminder that, now that the "new quit euphoria" has died down, we must be on our guard for those occassions when the desire for a "good" ciggie rears up its head.
The difference now though is, that the Urge, or craving is not nearly as bad as it used to be (remember just how tough the first few days were) and is really quite easy to sweep aside.
Yes, the initial determination has gone, BUT, it should now be replaced by a dogged resistance to any feelings of "F$%£ it, i'll just have ONE.
Beakjul Bulgul Nic
(Indomitable Spirit to the non Martial among you :D)
That is what you now have and even though these feelings may occur, they should be so easy to get rid of.
As an aside, but also a reminder to me, I still keep my quit counter and get the odd thrill of a new milestone reached, and today is no different (8 months) BUT what really makes me happy is the fact that it shows £1597 odd not spent on smoking.
WHAT A LOT OF MONEY!!!!!!!!!!
If someone were to walk up and give you that you would be well chuffed.
That is another spur to stay away from them..
Stay strong Nic i know you can.
But, even people like yourself, who are constantly helping and encouraging others sometimes need a few words of encouragement to help see you through. I hope the replies here today have done their job.
It stands to reason that enthusiasm will drop off after a while and determination must take its place. I do see this as all part of the quit, no complacency, but I will not fail.
On the up side one of my real world friends has just asked me to "mentor" him in his quit, which he will start next week. Not only am I flattered but it will give me a new focus and I've recommended this place to him.
:cool: Funny how life has a habit of doing things like that :cool:
Hi Nic, i know what you mean.....i was sooo proud of myself for quitting when i had my boy, and with the excitement of having him aswell the thought of smoking again was awful. but after a while, i missed it, not that i wanted to be a smoker again....but i was fed up, and bored and lonely and tired and it just didn't seem like the adrenaline and drive that i had when i quit was still there (i managed 2yrs), i was fed up with not smoking....and in a sick way i got the buzz and adrenaline back with the thought of being a bit naughty and cheating on my quit, so i did it, and i got the 'naughty buzz' i wanted......i even think i got it with the first 5 cigs (1 a day) but the buzz went and it quickly turned back into me being a smoker full time and this time walking endless laps of the local park wit the pram (even in the rain) so i could have a fag. and before i knew it i was fed up with smoking again....vicious circle buddy as you know, stay strong xxx
Last night I had 'the smoking dream' and woke up thinking I had already failed, was disappointed in myself and it took a couple of minutes to realise that it was only a dream.
In the dream, I went and bought a pack of 20 to break my quit only to find that I also had 4 left in a pack of 10, the implication being that I had already been cheating so this pack of 20 wasn't the break of the quit. Weird.
Not the 1st time I've had a similar dream, but an indicator that I need to re-focus my efforts on getting the mind right. In fact the sheer fact that I had it is helping me to re-focus.
With luck I will be back to my usual self in a matter of days in the meantime its just a case of hanging on in there.
Helen, I completely agree about the 'naughty buzz' I'll just have to find another 'naughty buzz' instead
This is how it feels for me, I wonder if others feel the same way.
In the early days of quitting it is all exciting and new. You start off by counting the hours and get excited by the prospect of new milestones etc.
As time goes on being smoke free becomes normality, and I think that is why many people find they slip up after 12 weeks or so. Keeping the resolve going becomes more difficult and that is why the right frame of mind is essential.
I've tried to convince myself that there is no enjoyment to smoking, but that doesn't work, I know that the enjoyment is minimal, the vast majority of cigarettes did not give pleasure just relief from withdrawal and you can not experience the odd one here and there, you have to take the 99.7% of crap to experience the 0.3% of buzz.
Over time you forget the cost of the 99.7% in terms of health, wealth, acceptability and slavery. Not smoking is the norm but you miss the old days when it was so much part of you and feel that some how you are on your own in dealing with everything. OK the use of cigarettes in the past was basically to relieve the cravings that built up since we had the last smoke, but we spent so long with the perception that they somehow helped that it is not easy to shake the idea now.
The most important thing for me to remember is never think I can get away with just one. I know because I am experiencing it that the temptation to "cheat" is bubbling under the surface, it must not be allowed to break through, I can not mess this quit up like I have done so many in the past, and I will not.
Getting and keeping the mind in the right place is not a one stop deal it and needs regular work to maintain it, and that work will be done!
That is an excellent post Nic and something that many quitters will relate to perfectly.
I've noticed that over time even THAT feeling goes and you start to get excited as the bigger milestones come along. Unfortunately last time i started smoking after one year and three weeks....
You are absolutely right, you have to maintain your quit forever. I was talking to a former smoke buddy of mine who actually quit for fifteen years last time and started smoking again in the past 3 years. He says it's like an alcoholic, you never really get over it, you just move on.
I was speaking with a farmer friend recently when I was helping him build a stable for us (for the new little sh1t Shetland .... ohhhhh pesky little monster that he is! Grrrrrrrr)
He stopped years ago and I started telling him I had quit.
He hit me straight between the eyes with tough love!
"Stop counting the days you stupid bug*er!"
"I've got no sympathy for you!"
Sort of stopped me in my tracks a little so early on in my quit...but....he was so right.
People where I live are "seriously" down to earth. I work in agriculture and they will tell you exactly what they think of you, good or bad!
Strangely, the more I thought about what he said, the more it made sense!
All above are right the excitement has dropped, I felt that after a couple of weeks, and at this moment I do still have to keep making conscious decisions to keep control of my subconscious mind (if that's at all possible!?!).
I think Allen Carr mentioned it in his book, "Don't wait for something to happen it's already happened....the "event" happens the moment we put out that last cigarette.
That takes me full circle back to my friend telling me to stop counting the days.
For me the battle is young but my end game is not to regret smoking, not to deny I ever smoked but to start anew and get on with all that life is throwing at me.....
They say we should keep busy .... to me that means don't be a lazy arsed git, sitting back watching life whilst smoking mine away....get up and get stuck in.!
Keeping busy to me means enjoying life including all the little things that I missed as a smoker.....
I can see a point in time where I will stop counting the days, I'm nowhere near that yet, but when I get there I hope I won't even notice......life will have surrounded me and given me my new barrier .... this time against smoking......
I really hope that made sense.....did in my head
Talking of real life, I've got God knows how much time to spend tomorrow with my head stuck at 135 degrees behind a toilet ... cos the bloody flush has broken.....absolutely livid!
I do understand that the novelty wears off if you like but that's when nonsmoking has become routine and not a challenge anymore - isn't that what we're all aiming for?
The boredom has nothing to do with non smoking, it is just boredom. So we therefore need to find different activities/challenges. Me, I'm signing up to do a 10k again this year - might even do 3 10ks (note the word might)!!
I just found this post and it reminded me a little of how I'm starting to feel.
This forum is flipping awesome, you can always find something that applies to how you feel!
Molly x
The good thing is that its is a normal phase in the quit, it does require a slight shift in emphasis i.e. from excitement to stubbornness but its all part of the process of settling into being a non smoker. After a while it settles down and you just get used to the fact that not smoking is the new normal and not a novelty.
Quitting smoking is more about learning to live life without a nicotine dependency than anything else, I said many times that practice makes perfect and its so true. The only way that you become comfortable with not reaching for the crutch is by getting through the situations that made you want to and realising that the fag was actually for the fag's sake not to assist with the situation. That is the biggest issue I have with the E-cig as I see it just as trading the delivery method but really you are still keeping the dependency aside from the health benefit kicking the dependency releases you from a kind of slavery which I find hard to describe. For me it has made me calmer, more confident and more content.
Anyway as you can see the volcano didn't erupt :eek: and nearly 4 and a half years on when "things" happen reaching for a cig never enters my mind.
I was speaking with a farmer friend recently when I was helping him build a stable for us (for the new little sh1t Shetland .... ohhhhh pesky little monster that he is! Grrrrrrrr)
He stopped years ago and I started telling him I had quit.
He hit me straight between the eyes with tough love!
"Stop counting the days you stupid bug*er!"
"I've got no sympathy for you!"
Greg while that is one way its not the only way, if marking milestones works for you then do it, use all the tools at your disposal. The goal is becoming content with being someone who doesn't smoke and doesn't wish to. The quitting phase is a transitional one and what works for one person won't always work for another. My grandfather got up one day with a hacking cough (ages about 80) and decided that his pipe was causing him more trouble than it was worth and just stopped, no fuss or bother. No counting of days or anything, he just treated it like someone stopping eating cucumber because it gives them indigestion. A lovely way to quit but not many people would manage it.
As for the farmer, miserable bugger that fella is I bet he doesn't buy his kids an advent calendar
kicking the dependency releases you from a kind of slavery which I find hard to describe. For me it has made me calmer, more confident and more content.
Anyway as you can see the volcano didn't erupt :eek: and nearly 4 and a half years on when "things" happen reaching for a cig never enters my mind.
Hi Nic, while I know I'm a ways off from "reaching for a cig never entering my mind", I know that I've come far enough to know I will never commit myself to the slavery that smoking is ever again.
It feels so good to realise that as well. I was terrified through the first few weeks that I would slip and not be able to find the strength to keep going. Now I just know that I would never be able to do anything else!
Hi Nic, while I know I'm a ways off from "reaching for a cig never entering my mind", I know that I've come far enough to know I will never commit myself to the slavery that smoking is ever again.
It feels so good to realise that as well. I was terrified through the first few weeks that I would slip and not be able to find the strength to keep going. Now I just know that I would never be able to do anything else!
Hi Hazel, it's people like you that helped me realise that I will never go back. I have so much to be grateful for. I don't know how I'll ever say thank you well enough to express it properly, but, thank you Hazel x
Greg while that is one way its not the only way, if marking milestones works for you then do it, use all the tools at your disposal. The goal is becoming content with being someone who doesn't smoke and doesn't wish to. The quitting phase is a transitional one and what works for one person won't always work for another. My grandfather got up one day with a hacking cough (ages about 80) and decided that his pipe was causing him more trouble than it was worth and just stopped, no fuss or bother. No counting of days or anything, he just treated it like someone stopping eating cucumber because it gives them indigestion. A lovely way to quit but not many people would manage it.
As for the farmer, miserable bugger that fella is I bet he doesn't buy his kids an advent calendar
That farmer was making me think that maybe I should stop monitoring my quit.
However, I am concerned about getting complacent, and I feel the monitoring wards off complacency. It was valuable to be reminded that there is no one way to quit and that you need to do what fits your situation. Thanks for that Nic.
Hi Hazel, it's people like you that helped me realise that I will never go back. I have so much to be grateful for. I don't know how I'll ever say thank you well enough to express it properly, but, thank you Hazel x
That farmer was making me think that maybe I should stop monitoring my quit.
However, I am concerned about getting complacent, and I feel the monitoring wards off complacency. It was valuable to be reminded that there is no one way to quit and that you need to do what fits your situation. Thanks for that Nic.
Thanks for that Biggrin, I sat there wondering exactly what it was that bothered me about not keeping track and celebrating milestones and couldn't really put it into words even in my own head.
You just did that for me, ta chuck, it means a lot because I think it's important, at least for me x
Thanks for that Biggrin, I sat there wondering exactly what it was that bothered me about not keeping track and celebrating milestones and couldn't really put it into words even in my own head.
You just did that for me, ta chuck, it means a lot because I think it's important, at least for me x
I think you both make a good point. Ideally I want to be at a point where I don't think about smoking at all and posting on here and celebrating the milestones do bring it to the fore somewhat. However I do think it's important (for me) as I quit earlier this year and did about 4 or 5 months- wasn't really counting. I then made the mistake of having just one and well you know the rest. I like Biggrin fear complacency and do not want to go down that road again - NOPE and I feel this forum reminds me why I can't ever ever have one puff again!!
Greg while that is one way its not the only way, if marking milestones works for you then do it, use all the tools at your disposal. The goal is becoming content with being someone who doesn't smoke and doesn't wish to. The quitting phase is a transitional one and what works for one person won't always work for another. My grandfather got up one day with a hacking cough (ages about 80) and decided that his pipe was causing him more trouble than it was worth and just stopped, no fuss or bother. No counting of days or anything, he just treated it like someone stopping eating cucumber because it gives them indigestion. A lovely way to quit but not many people would manage it.
As for the farmer, miserable bugger that fella is I bet he doesn't buy his kids an advent calendar
Thanks Nic
For info ..... he doesn't...they're in their 40's, about 7' 14" tall and twice that wide!! :eek:
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