Allen Carr for none smokers.: I am 12 days... - No Smoking Day

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Allen Carr for none smokers.

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I am 12 days into my quit.

had a bad day 9, 10 and 11, wanted to smoke badly but did not succumb.

picked up allen carr's book last night (day 11).

started reading it again.

reading it as a non smoker is very very liberating and is an excellent form of reassurance and brain cleansing.

i have thought about cigarettes a few times today (day 12) but it has been extremely easy for me to just say to myself i will not smoke one. Re-Reading Allen Carr as a non smoker has done this for me.

it reinforces the message and helps cleanse the brain from the psychological withdrawl of not smoking.

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nsd_user663_2981 profile image
nsd_user663_2981

Me too Antifag!!

I'm reading it as a non smoker to ease me along in my quit and reinforce my reason for stopping. I feel smuggedy smug just reading it now, whereas a month ago it put the fear of God into me. Who would've thought??

I have to say - your posts are very inspiring too - you are always so enthusiastic and helping people - so thank you lol

nsd_user663_3106 profile image
nsd_user663_3106

I re read parts as well last night. I think it helped me sleep.

nsd_user663_2981 profile image
nsd_user663_2981

As long as we only think 'Thank God I don't smoke anymore!' and not get mopey and sentimental. It would drive me crazy if i thought i'd feel like this forever :confused:

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nsd_user663_3097

Me too Antifag!!

I'm reading it as a non smoker to ease me along in my quit and reinforce my reason for stopping. I feel smuggedy smug just reading it now, whereas a month ago it put the fear of God into me. Who would've thought??

I have to say - your posts are very inspiring too - you are always so enthusiastic and helping people - so thank you lol

WKD, thank you for your very kind words, i also find your posts and involvement in this forum very inspiring. KEEP Posting, it seems you and i are both going through very similar experiences, i am here for you, i hope you are there for me.

let's not fail, i feel you are a partner with me on this journey..

nsd_user663_2497 profile image
nsd_user663_2497

I am currently reading Easyway for a second time, no particular reason just wanted to revisit it really. In fact, the first time I read it I had already given up so my whole perspective of it is really from a non smokers view.

Its a good read and I reckon it can help strengthen your resolve if its shaky.

Its funny, I know some people have a problem with Carr's 'tone' in the book but rereading it personally I think he did it on purpose. Certain points need to be hammered home and you can sometimes absorb info better in that way.

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nsd_user663_2981

WKD, thank you for your very kind words, i also find your posts and involvement in this forum very inspiring. KEEP Posting, it seems you and i are both going through very similar experiences, i am here for you, i hope you are there for me.

let's not fail, i feel you are a partner with me on this journey..

That is so sweet! We won't fail because we have such a good support network here. I like to think I get something from everyone on here, while quitting smoking is something that you have to do by yourself, it is good to know that other people know how you feel. And also, we know stopping smoking isn't impossible so we inspire other people with our experiences. Isn't that always a good thing?

I'm so glad I joined this forum :D

Its funny, I know some people have a problem with Carr's 'tone' in the book but rereading it personally I think he did it on purpose. Certain points need to be hammered home and you can sometimes absorb info better in that way.

I agree - I didn't have a problem with the tone but I noticed it. The tone was basically the hypnotic power of suggestion which is one of the reasons I can read it over and over again. Plus! It stopped me smoking (well it and me myself) so it can't be a bad thing surely?

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nsd_user663_3097

Hi Antifag

i only found this site today and your post a few minutes ago.

I went on an Allen Carr course and haven't had a cigarette since (23rd feb)

There have been good days and bad days but i have found the whyquit website (which you also have on your list) a great source of help.

Just remember to stick with it and don't even take a puff. you know it makes sense:)

I never thought i would ever get to this stage after smoking for so long but i have and i can only say that it DOES get easier.

Good luck to you.

John -Free from nicotine for One Month, Eight Days, 1 Hour and 43 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 3 Days and 5 Hours, by avoiding the use of 927 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me £243.66.

Thanks John, how long you been a smoker and how do you feel about smoking now?

You must still think about it otherwise you would not have found this site.

Glad you were able to quit the cold and hard way and thanks for posting.

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nsd_user663_3097

Hi Antifag

thanks for responding to my post. As a Newbie it is a wee bit nerve wracking replying/commenting on someone elses post.

To answer your questions i am 43 and have smoked since i was 13 or 14. After reading Allen Carr's book and also reading Scandal (which is downloadable from his website) i really HATE:mad: the whole tobacco industry and also the whole NRT thing,...what a con that is.

Yes i do still think about smoking. I don't think it is something you can just forget about so quickly. What i don't think now is that i am "missing " anything by not smoking because i know that i am not. Each trigger is just a reminder that i am not poisoning myself anymore which is a good thing. I also feel that we need to learn as much as we can about our addiction which is why i visit the whyquit site. There is so much good info on there. The main thing is the motto, Never take another puff. That says it all for me and means so much. The more i learn about smoking the easier it actually becomes to not smoke. If i was trying to hide from each craving it would actually be worse. We need to face each one for what it is and it will very quickly go away.

Good luck again antifag. i am sure it will go well for you. just remember no matter how bad you think you want a cigarette you are actually past the stage of nicotine withdrawal and the feeling you have will disappear in a short time.

Best wishes

Thanks John, your words are very reassuring.

Don;t worry about posting on threads as a new poster we need all the input we can get!

i'm on day 13 now john and going through a severe bout of depression, i can;t understand it and want it to stop. Did you suffer this?

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nsd_user663_2981

Antifag, you need a serious dose of sunshine, something to take your mind off the depression. I just got tearful and anxious, but am generally cheerful about this quit.

Perhaps you could try taking yourself away for a day or buying yourself something nice with the money you've saved? Anything to get the endorphins flowing ;)

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nsd_user663_3097

John/WKD

got to say the depression is starting to leave me.

I am a gym member and go regulary, i was feeling really great going to the gym just after i quit but the depression got so bad i couldnt actually exercise, i couldnt be arsed. my last 2 gym sessions (thursday and sunday) have been very half hearted. i am glad to say however i am feeling a LOT better at the mo'.

I spoke to some friends about it and they helped, i am going to pump it up down the gym again tomorrow. hopefully will feel better.

funny though, no matter how depressed i was i didn't allow myself to smoke. Just to let you all know the depression started friday (day 10 and is only just leaving me today day 14). I think talking to people about it helps loads.

WKD you are right, i am taking a couple of days off this week to go shopping and generally treat myself. I havent treated myself in ages - thanks for the advice guys and your best wishes.

nsd_user663_3138 profile image
nsd_user663_3138

It helped my mum stop so im going to try it.

nsd_user663_2931 profile image
nsd_user663_2931

On top of the wardrobe Phil? Thats naughty. AC shouldn't be shoved away like that!

I try to have my AC book in whatever room I happen to be in. Got some more supplies heading my way so can't wait for my lovely postman to deliver those!

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nsd_user663_2931

Phil

depends on the reading material ;)

Dirty bugger :eek:

:p

I wanna ask something but don't really wanna start a new thread for it...

Regarding AC. In my first 'SA' meeting (haha) one of the guys running it said that AC would applaud Champix. Purely because it was a quit smoking aid WITHOUT the use of nicotine. Guy even went on to say that AC would have absolutely loved it...

Do you really think he would? :confused:

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nsd_user663_2981

Mornin everyone,

Maddy, I don't think AC would have liked champix purely because he doesn't like anything gimmicky or any 'substitute'. From his books I gathered that he despised people believing they needed anything to help them stop smoking, this includes boiled sweets, mints, ordinary chewing gum and over eating at meals. That woud be 'replacing' the cigarettes which he believes you won't think about once you are no longer addicted to nicotine.

You have to wean yourself off champix, so it's technically an addictive chemical and sort of flies in the face of everything Allen Carr believes in. On addictive chemical for another?

If you read easyway and it clicked then you won't need anything else.

It clicked with me from the start, but for some reason i've had a bad few days and am reading the book again. AC works on the power of suggestion and your subconscious mind. I think something un-did it last week...? Oh well.

Have a great Saturday everyone.

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nsd_user663_2931

Hi Fairy

I agree too. My gut instinct is that AC would not approve of Champix so I don't know why this guy at the SA meeting was so adamant he would be. He seemed to know his stuff regarding AC so I'm a bit surprised...

As for something clicking, yeah I guess thats what it is...or it could be what AC wrote about in his book...'moment of revelation' haha I know, that sounds a bit OTT but it really isn't. It definitely happened for me.

Hell, do you know what? After reading in the book that he did not approve of using ANY aids to stop smoking, for example, mints/boiled sweets, I instantly stopped using them and I realise now I didn't need them (mints). I think the mint thing was a habit from my first 'quit'. I still have some mints now 'n again 'cos I've always liked them, but I don't use them as a crutch anymore.

Also, re the subconscious...amazing thing isn't it? I just typed out a paragraph trying to explain something I wanted to say re this but it didn't make sense so I deleted it...too early in the morning lol

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nsd_user663_2981

Mornin Maddy

Yeh, I think this bloke desperately wants to quit using the 'easyway' but can't so is justifying the use of a gimmicky substitute by saying the late great Allen Carr would approve. God rest his soul, he'd turn in his grave! Quote: You do not need to replace smoking with anything because you are not giving anything up! (I lurve that man, he made it a pleasure to stop, instead of the torture of days gone by)

I too haven't used mints this time, but I do seem to be eating much more chocolate than ever before. It's not a substitute or treat, I just want it :p

Come back later and give us you thoughts on the subconscious .... I love all that stuff too. I know it's waaaaaaaaay too early for it now.

Incidentally, today I feel like a non-smoker. I'm sleeping better and even though i'm waking early it isn't like a few weeks ago. Jeez, wish i'd quit smoking years ago.... the mornings I wasted.

;)

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nsd_user663_2931

Oooh my 'Allen Carr's Easy way for women' has just turned up woo hoo Can't wait to get stuck into that. I'm assuming he had some help from a woman to write that book !!

Soooooooo glad you're finding it easy Fairy. I am too. Bloody great isn't it? I actually feel elated that I have stopped smoking instead of how I felt last time...struggling and miserable! Such a transformation. Every penny AC made from his books he deserved and then some!

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nsd_user663_2981

I know, the man was a saint! Uh-oh, we're getting an unhealthy addiction to all things Allen LOL

Seriously though, in the past I believed I was experiencing these 'symptoms' when I stopped... er what symptoms? Apart from the blood sugar thing which is easily remedied.

There ain't no horrendous physical pain, just an empty feeling for a day or two and the feeling that you want a ciggy..... but you don't have a ciggy because you don't need it.

Oh no, i'm getting smug again. I think i've figured out why I was weird for a day or two. Because the world is divided into two groups - them that smoke and them that don't.....

I felt a bit left out of both worlds, I didn't crave a cigarette or want to smoke one of the mingin things, I just felt left out...... *cue sad music*

Oh well, i'm better now.

I'm off to do some housework!

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nsd_user663_2931

yer not fick hahah

Happy Housework! I got to get stuck into some very soon. Oh joy. My darling kids think I love it so I'm guessing thats why they keep creating the need for it :rolleyes:

As for becoming AC freaks, I'd rather be one of those than a nic freak haha It is quite scary how easy it is isn't it? Well, at times it can be a tad bit scary. Its like, nothing is this easy!! Especially not stopping smoking! Hell, I'd have to have a cig before I did ANYTHING. Well, at least it felt that way sometimes. As the months passed, I found I was smoking more and more and this also rings true in AC's book. But I'm free from all that shit now so its all good.

Dellabella profile image
Dellabella

Hi all,

The sun is shining where I live, Somerset so why do I feel like there is a black cloud over me, it has just hit me like this, today. I feel in sort of limbo today don't realy want to smoke but can't stop thinking about them either these last few days, you would think that near 4 weeks into my quit that things would settle down, I didn't feel this low at the beginning of my quit!!???

I'm gonna, get washed and dressed, put some funky music on loud and tidy up my office perhaps will feel better after that....... will let you know!

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nsd_user663_2981

One more comment on the matter (house won't clean itself hehe)

Re what you said about smoking more and more, I got to that point too. It was scary, when you would be planning your next smoke before you'd extinguished your cig. I was scared of getting to the point of 'no satisfaction' from any cigarette.

The point in the book that caught me - and i'd like to say it was one of those SNAP the book shut and stand up and declare your solemn vow to never smoke again moments- was when AC pointed out that smokers can never truly relax unless they are smoking, even if they put one out. They would need to smoke one after another for the rest of their lives to keep the nicotine in their blood level so they feel like they did before they started smoking in the first place!

Hope that all made sense :rolleyes:

I finally realised that I was one of those who cannot relax anymore, the smoking got me to the point where I was constantly thinking about my next cigarette!

I must say, to anyone wanting to stop smoking, stop it now because with the exception of the first three days when the nicotine left my body (even then I was happy and free) I feel more relaxed than I have since I started, and have had that feeling of contentment you NEVER experience as a SMOKER.

I can sit down at night and truly relax instead of lounging around relieving withdrawal pangs (quote Allen Carr)

I'm deffo away this time, Maddy good luck with your cleaning, your kids are very kind ;)

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nsd_user663_2981

Hi all,

The sun is shining where I live, Somerset so why do I feel like there is a black cloud over me, it has just hit me like this, today. I feel in sort of limbo today don't realy want to smoke but can't stop thinking about them either these last few days, you would think that near 4 weeks into my quit that things would settle down, I didn't feel this low at the beginning of my quit!!???

I'm gonna, get washed and dressed, put some funky music on loud and tidy up my office perhaps will feel better after that....... will let you know!

I felt like that too Della, the 'limbo' moment. It passed as soon as I realised what it was. Hope you feel better soon :)

nsd_user663_2931 profile image
nsd_user663_2931

These black clouds just seem to hit us quite randomly Della. I felt on a downer last night for some reason. Didn't want a fag, mind, just felt sad.

As you say, maybe keeping busy and putting on some good music will help lift your spirits. It sure is a nice day out there today! If a bit breezy...hope you feel better soon.

I hear you re the smoking/contentment issue Fairy. I feel so much more happier as a non smoker. No more worrying about when I'm gonna get my next fix if I'm out and about and smoking is difficult. No more relying on the awful nasty sticks!!! urrghhh I can't believe how bad I depended on those things. What a waste. And a shame. But at least we've done something about it now though!

Now, if I go out to some event, I'm not standing there wishing the event away just so I could have a cigarette quicker. I enjoy occasions more! Just how you should do (ok so a long drawn out wedding ceremony still isn't very appealing but you know what I mean!). One of the lines that sticks out for me in the AC book is the part where AC goes on to say that (correct me if I'm wrong) his daughter's wedding got in the way of his smoking. That rings SO true to me. The times I have fancied a cigarette more than the special occasion I'm at :( Even those occasions for my own children I'd be really looking forward to that cigarette consequently taking away some of my enjoyment of my own child's party or whatever event it happened to be. Its sad.

All in all, I feel happier, free, more outgoing and as if a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders :)

nsd_user663_2931 profile image
nsd_user663_2931

Ok, re the subconscious...sorry if I am stating the obvious at any time. Just me thinking aloud. I believe that upon reading AC's book 'Easyway' the words went deep and entered my subconscious thoughts in a big way. Consequently, it is my subconscious doing most of the work in regard to stopping smoking. Sure, I get the odd thought of cigarettes and I would even go so far to say I get the odd 'pang' every now and then but they are easily dismissed and even then its not a 'true' crave. I haven't had a proper crave for a cigarette since about Day 3 upon finishing the AC book.

Maybe for some people the effect of the book does not have its desired effect due to a multitude of reasons. When I read this book I read it with a true desire to not want to smoke, albeit wanting to smoke as I thought I needed to (for some strange reason). I guess I had a very open mind and as a result of that, the words went deep into my subconscious as well as my conscious. I read the book with great interest. It hooked me.

Having said that, upon reading it again, sometimes I read the book without consciously being aware of what I have just read. But at times like this, I believe my subconscious is picking up the words and to that affect, I am still taking in each and every word. It is still having an impact on me.

Hope I didn't bore you with that! haha

nsd_user663_2931 profile image
nsd_user663_2931

Why do I feel particularly sad tonight that AC is no longer with us? :( Its mad. I don't even know the guy but his books have done so much for me that I will be eternally grateful to him...stopping smoking is a big deal yet he has made it seem easy (most of the time).

I was listening to the cd rom today in my car that he did. Part of the cd talks about a scare he suffered believing he had lung cancer. He said that if he contracted that horrible disease he would commit suicide if his quality of life was compromised or if he didn't deteriorate 'too bad' he would just 'get on with it'. Turns out it wasn't lung cancer. That time. Little did he know that years down the line, he WOULD die from lung cancer :( I feel really sad about that.

Also, there are parts in the book that, now Mr Carr has died, sound quite ironic. 72 I think he was when he died. Thats not VERY old is it? I mean, my grandad is in his mid 80's and he still does everything for himself without any need for help.

Such a shame that he had to die from the one disease he was afraid of contracting :(

nsd_user663_2981 profile image
nsd_user663_2981

MAYBE his name was in the book that day and he would have died anyway.

By his own admissions he could smoke a hundred a day in his forties so I doubt he would have lived much longer had he continued to smoke.

It makes me sad too, but he said in his book that the last 20 years were a joy when he stopped smoking. So that's good! What a legacy he left behind. ME! Without the compulsory cigarette i've had in my hand for the past five years LOL. Damn, he was good.

Have a great day everyone.

...........Does wee John have a wee headache..? ;)

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nsd_user663_2931

haha Well if its any consolation John I have a cold. Mind, yours is self inflicted so I deserve more sympathy than you :p

As for AC, I hope he gets in death what he craved when he was alive...and that is 'recognition' by the 'big 3'. I hope the people running his cause get there...

nsd_user663_2931 profile image
nsd_user663_2931

A great person gave me this link:

youtube.com/watch?v=xRHc1XK...

I have watched the first couple mins but I wanna save it for later. Don't know if any of you guys have seen it yet? Looks interesting. There is a member from QUIT sitting beside AC lol oooh I wonder how the debate goes?!

Awww Bless him.

Edit: I've just watched the vid and I have to say it had me giggling at the end when AC asked the QUIT representative a question...she didn't know what to say hahah

nsd_user663_2497 profile image
nsd_user663_2497

Very interesting vid there maddy, good find. I'm not sure what figures that women had seen but most statistics show NRT isnt as effective as people, and certainly the medical establishment would like us to, think. But I digress.

Just watching the Sky News one now.

Theres a few other on there, never realised Carr had done much TV work.

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nsd_user663_2981

I agree with everything the man says :)

The bloke in the video who started smoking again after receiving devastating news was going to start again anyway and simply got an excuse. I could tell from the start of the video that it 'wasn't his time'. I assume that the news didn't become less devastating once he was chugging on a cancer stick.

I'm away to watch the rest of it now, thanks for this Maddy!

nsd_user663_2931 profile image
nsd_user663_2931

I can't take credit for finding that link...another lovely person gave me it :)

Looking forward to watching some of the other vids later.

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nsd_user663_2981

I can't take credit for finding that link...another lovely person gave me it :)

Looking forward to watching some of the other vids later.

Me too... is it just me or do those people smoking in the clinics look stoopid and uncomfortable. They then get a 'smoke break' (Oh My God, like you need one....) ........... I just imagine they all STINK. I want a shower just watching it LOL

nsd_user663_2931 profile image
nsd_user663_2931

I watched part two of the sky interview and wow! Did AC lay into the ASH representative lol Kinda felt sorry for her :o

Thing with AC is, he has a play on words. Somehow, they sink into your inner consciousness and you realise that everything he says makes sense. For instance, nicotine REPLACEMENT therapy really is 'nicotine maintenance therapy'..the nicotine isn't being replaced with something else is it? Makes you see things from a new perspective.

As for the poor woman on the sky interview though (esp part 2) she turned up unarmed methinks lol

nsd_user663_3097 profile image
nsd_user663_3097

I watched part two of the sky interview and wow! Did AC lay into the ASH representative lol Kinda felt sorry for her :o

Thing with AC is, he has a play on words. Somehow, they sink into your inner consciousness and you realise that everything he says makes sense. For instance, nicotine REPLACEMENT therapy really is 'nicotine maintenance therapy'..the nicotine isn't being replaced with something else is it? Makes you see things from a new perspective.

As for the poor woman on the sky interview though (esp part 2) she turned up unarmed methinks lol

Maddy, do you have any links to the sky interview please?

XX

nsd_user663_2931 profile image
nsd_user663_2931

Sure, its here:

youtube.com/watch?v=kjW-R1t...

To the right, there is a scroll down menu showing other vids. Enjoy!

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nsd_user663_2981

Oh Yay Antifag is back!

How's the quit going AF?

nsd_user663_3097 profile image
nsd_user663_3097

Yo Yo Yo

I'm still free, am feeling stronger and stronger daily.

I no longer physically crave cigarettes anymore and think I am off the pschological want, I do think about them every day but the thought of actually smoking distresses me. When I think of lighting a cigarette and letting all of those toxins and poisons into my lungs I think of it as self harm, i look at smoking and smokers as many people would look at a person that picks up a razor and cuts themselves, I see smoking as an illness. Certainly not a pleasure but a bain, an awful sad miserable curse. I guess when I was a smoker I got into the mind of a self harmer almost, people that choose to cut themselves are unable to see it for what it is until they are mentally cured, same goes for smoking.

I look at smokers and feel sorry for them being hooked and thrown outdoors so they can suck on a fag. Some ladies at work rush outside and say things like 'oh i need this fag so badly' or 'I'm gasping for a smoke' or 'I enjoy smoking', funny how when you are a non smoker you look at these people and remember when you used to say those things and how nonsensicle it all is. At work my window overlooks the train station and I see all the smokers outside having a fag before they catch their trains. When I walk past the smokers when I go out to get a sandwich i have a smug grin on my face and amd very glad to be free of smokes, the smokers can't bear to look at me as I used to be out their with them not too long ago. I am now concentrating on losing the 5 - 7 pounds I gained.

How about you WKD?

One thing is for sure, being free of smokes is a powerful life enhancing, liberating act and possibly one of the most important enjoyable things a smoker can ever ever do.

One key think throughout this quit has been EDUCATION, if i had just quit i wouldn't feel like this, sites like whyquit, allen carr, smokeworm, you tube vids, this site and its wonderful posters have all helped Immensley. I understand the smoking beast and see it as my enemy now, I despise cigarettes and symapthise for smokers.

Thanks to all on this site and I will continue to post as and when I can.

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nsd_user663_2981

I feel fab as well!!

I too look at the smokers outside places and just wonder 'Why?'.... why are you doing that to yourself, it was only two months ago that I thought i would have to go through misery to give them up, after a few weeks I couldn't stand to keep smoking! It isn't all plain sailing, and the little monster has caused me some uncomfortable moments (bless him) but I still want to giggle to myself at times and think, Thank God I am free!

Keep it up everyone, congrats to Antifag!

nsd_user663_2931 profile image
nsd_user663_2931

I love your posts AF!! They're SO uplifting to read! So pleased you have got through the worst now.

nsd_user663_3097 profile image
nsd_user663_3097

Thanks Maddy/WKD, I also think you and most all others on this site are briliant human beings, it is great to see in a world of capitalist greed and selfish arrogance a few people can get together in a common cause and unite to fight and overthrow an enemy of the soul.

I am a member of 3 or 4 forums and have never ever met or spoken to such pleasurable, caring, emotional, thoughtful, friendly, truthful, giving, selfless people as I have on this site.

You are all wonderful human beings and when all else is chaos and destruction around me and i see terror and angst in the world, i will think back to this site and recognise there can be kindness and humility in the world.

X

Keep it up n on smokers and please never take another puff.

Those on the road to freedom who still crave, please bear witness non smoking can be your life and it is one of the greatest feelings you can ever personally achieve.

nsd_user663_3170 profile image
nsd_user663_3170

That is so sweet! We won't fail because we have such a good support network here. I like to think I get something from everyone on here, while quitting smoking is something that you have to do by yourself, it is good to know that other people know how you feel. And also, we know stopping smoking isn't impossible so we inspire other people with our experiences. Isn't that always a good thing?

I'm so glad I joined this forum :D

I completley agree WkdFairy! I am so glad I joined up, I love reading all your posts, I am pleased for all of you at how great you are all doing and you all inspire me to stay on track!

P.s Allen Carr = God! :D

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nsd_user663_2981

I completley agree WkdFairy! I am so glad I joined up, I love reading all your posts, I am pleased for all of you at how great you are all doing and you all inspire me to stay on track!

P.s Allen Carr = God! :D

Oh yay! Glad we could be of service, I would be puffing 40 a day if i hadn't had this place at the start.

Glad you love Allen as much aas me Maddy and John do!! - and Antifag of course !

Good Luck :D

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blood stream. I'm now on day 29 quitting cold turkey (with the help of Allen Carr) and I don't...