4 Weeks Today - Uneasy.

[nsd_user663_2367]

this evening will be the 4 week aniversary of my last cigarette.

I am feeling sort of uneasy.

There is lots of good:

The major constant craves are gone and the withdrawal symptoms are long gone. I no longer spend most of my day with the feeling that my head might explode at any minute.

Physically I have stopped coughing and generally feel more well. I found out of Friday (office health clinic) that my blood Pressure may be a bit High... I am 32 years old that frightens me I will have to go see a real doctor to confirm.... but this is more incentive to not smoke.

My 8 block walk from the subway to office without a cigarette or 2 no longer feels like climbing mount everest

So I sould feel great.... BUT

I feel strange. I cant make decisions easily. When I go shopping I often either buy too much or leave the store with nothing. I am impatient and get agrrivated when I have to wait for anything. I have been having trouble motivating myself to do things I should be doing. Its like I cant kickstart a project without a cigarette so I spend a whole lot of time thinking about what to do next and then do nothing. I cant focus at work. All of these things are compounded by some stressful personal situations. I know that smoking is not the way to cope with any of these problems but my subconsious mind keeps hinting. I am frustrated because I really dont want to be a smoker. There is no good to come of it. I need to find some other way to deal with the psycological aspect of quitting.

This forum has helped because it is good to know that I am not alone in this and I am not totally crazy for feeling some of the things I do.

[nsd_user663_2400]

You did it. You quit smoking. The most powerful addiction known to man and YOU kicked it. You are not in the process of quitting, you quit. Now move on. Get on with your life knowing that you did the hardest thing. Let things happen. Once, you thought that the world would end if you couldn't have a fag. You stopped, the world rolled on. What will happen if you let go of some other things which cause you stress? If its hard to motivate youself to start a project, is that because you don't smoke or because you don't really want to do it? What DO you want to do? Why can't you go do that instead?

"because I just can't"? Like you "just couldn't" live without cigarettes once?

De-program yourself and find a way to be who you want to be. You're half way there.

Good luck.

[nsd_user663_2231]

Kenzo - congratulations on getting this far, you should be so proud of yourself, but I do understand what you mean about the uneasy feeling. Yesterday was my week 8 mark (I think) or 9.

In so many ways I feel great, (better skin, I don't smell, I feel healthy, not to mention so much richer) but somehow I just don't feel like me anymore - I feel a bit lost! At work they cannot believe calm and collected I've been since giving up cigs, whereas at home my family are treading on eggshells with me, as they say the slightest thing sets me off! - Funny I think i'm okay at home but obviously not.

So Kenzo, you are not alone in this, and we are both obviously going crazy;)

[nsd_user663_2367]

De-program yourself and find a way to be who you want to be. You're half way there.

Good luck.

Yeah wockabass that was good advice. I am trying to learn how to cope with stress without smoking. It is hard to do. Right now I feel stress/anger which I equate with a desire to smoke. You are right there are underlying problems but not smoking takes away a litte helper in confronting those problems. Logically I know I will still feel that stress and have to deal with these situations even if I did cave and have the cigarette.

but somehow I just don't feel like me anymore - I feel a bit lost! At work they cannot believe calm and collected I've been since giving up cigs, whereas at home my family are treading on eggshells with me, as they say the slightest thing sets me off! - Funny I think i'm okay at home but obviously not.

So Kenzo, you are not alone in this, and we are both obviously going crazy;)

Thanks ana is good to feel I am not alone on feeling lost . I just hope I can keep myself going. I need to find a way to focus.

[nsd_user663_2406]

You are doing so well. I am on day 4, and have all your feelings to go through before I get to your stage. At the moment I am ok with various projects ongoing that have to be done, but once they are completed......?

I don't think you need to smoke, you need a replacement. Obviously, I dont know you well enough to point you in any direction, but you will know within yourself what you would like to undertake.

Also , and this is the big bonus, you have a bit more cash and a bit more breath to do it. Dont worry about your blood pressure, it could be related to something different. I used to be a paramedic on an oil rig, but if someone else took my bp it would be up to dangerous levels!!! 15 mins later, it would be within normal limits.

Basically, you have given yourself a new life. Enjoy and be proud of it.

[nsd_user663_2162]

kenzo I too know what you mean, it's a common feeling at your stage of the quit because you have physically won the war but your mind is still kinda stuck in the wrong place, and you feel easily lost and generally overwhelmed when you would expect to feel stronger and happier. I know. You sound to me like you need to allow yourself some relax, try not to be too demanding with yourself because there's only so much you can do...you're also having personal reasons that are stressing you a lot and they sure are not helping you feeling better, let alone starting new projects with a positive attitude! So don't beat yourself up, it's true that we have already quit thus the hardest part is over, but the quit itself is made of many steps and each of them needs to be faced and overcome in order for us to get to get to the other side of the tunnel happy and free once and for all...Try and be patient, strong, and more importantly, take real good care of yourself

[nsd_user663_2318]

Hey kenzo~

I know what you saying about feeling lost. I feel the same way almost everyday. I really have to give myself a serious push anymore to get things done. I feel very depressed but I keep telling myself I will get through this it's just gonna take time. Anything is better than lighting up another cig and starting all over! It's kinda like the saying "you didn't put the weight on overnight so it's not going to take overnight to lose it!" Christmas is approaching really soon and I hope I get too busy to think about it. The weather is getting colder too so I think we are also getting into hibernation mode. He he! We will get through this! Hang in there w/me!

[nsd_user663_2367]

Y

I don't think you need to smoke, you need a replacement. .

I know I know but it seems that replacement is red wine rather than finishing drywalll:confused: Thanks for your considerate words a lot of wisdom there.

kenzo I too know what you mean, it's a common feeling at your stage of the quit because you have physically won the war but your mind is still kinda stuck in the wrong place, and you feel easily lost and generally overwhelmed when you would expect to feel stronger and happier. I know. You sound to me like you need to allow yourself some relax,

Francesca tons of great advise thank you for hitting the nail on the head.

I know what you saying about feeling lost. I feel the same way almost everyday. I really have to give myself a serious push anymore to get things done. I feel very depressed but I keep telling myself I will get through this it's just gonna take time. Anything is better than lighting up another cig and starting all over! ... Hang in there w/me!

'

I am trying to get that Push... you hang in there too it sounds like you have your hands pretty full too. Damn families... but what would we do without them:rolleyes:

Thanks to all of you in this forum today was an especially hard day and one that would have send me puffing away normally... mainly due to more BS from my brother... but I dealt whith it OK and did not smoke so I am happy for that.... all of the support here helped. To know that others are feeling the same things and that everyone is challenged by personal issues helps me not give in.

[nsd_user663_2367]

Today I have to say I feel I have turned a corner. Things are not all happyness and joy but I am feeling stronger in my resolve. It is 4 weeks and 2days.

Yesterday I managed to handle a situation that would have normally sent me on a chainsmoking binge without even a big feeling of need for a cigarette.

My normal reaction would have been to smoke a pack of cigarettes, drink a bottle of wine.. pop a couple tylenol PM and try to stop my mind from racing so I could sleep. Instead I went to the gym as planned.. indulged in a nice dinner (no wine) and poppoed a few PMs (need something) and I really feel much better today for it.

I am trying to train my brain to realize that stress and cigrattes have no real realtionship... that the cigarette does NOTHING to help resolve the situation. While my logical mind knows this my subconcious has been slow to get on board with the idea.

[nsd_user663_2406]

I am trying to train my brain to realize that stress and cigrattes have no real realtionship... that the cigarette does NOTHING to help resolve the situation. While my logical mind knows this my subconcious has been slow to get on board with the idea.

Hows the dry walling and brain training going? Happily demolishing a horrible fire place today, and lifting floor boards ready for a load of ready mix. No damp course, just a mud floor below!!

[nsd_user663_2367]

Hows the dry walling and brain training going? Happily demolishing a horrible fire place today, and lifting floor boards ready for a load of ready mix. No damp course, just a mud floor below!!

The renovation is a weekend warrior thing for me... trapped all week at a desk (thank god for the view) I am actually looking foward to getting some work done this weekend.... got to get it done I have to move in in a few months. It is something I always wanted to do and I finally bit the bullet and did it... but I bit off a little more bullet than I should have.... the crazy thing is I know once i am done I will start looking for another project... maybe a cabin or something up in the mountains. I love the city but it gets rough on the soul.... need an escape sometimes.

I hear you on the mud floors... I am terrified as to what is under my kitchen the floor is on a considerable slope.. I can just peek in the underside from the basement :eek:... that project is a ways off though.