What was I thinking? Slippery weekend.

[nsd_user663_1655]

Heres me sitting with a bad taste in my mouth. Add another slip to my ongoing battle. I have been super super sick for the past week. For some reason, being sick was a huge trigger. A week long trigger. I guess thinking about the possibility of bronchitis, the pain of trying to smoke with gook in your lungs, etc. helped the trigger get huge. Well, this morning I went out and bought a pack. I was sick of being sick, sick of boring easter get togethers, sick of driving, sick of everything. I smoked 5 smokes in a row. Very fast, very hard pulls. Got dizzy, got a bad taste in my mouth, i'm still sick, and I have to knock another day off my quit. Out of 800 smokes that I could have smoked since March 1st, I have not smoked 793. I'm taking that as me still winning the battle. I know what i did was quite stupid, and knew before I did it that it wouldn't make me feel any better, nor make me calmer in any way. Yet, I am not hammering down on myself this time. I do not look any less at myself. I do not hate myself for what I have done. I am going to continue with the quit, the rest of the pack is in the trash, and my head is in the right place about this. I am a non smoker. I am a non smoker. I am a non smoker that has forgotten about not smoking twice. I am a non smoker that will inevitably remain a non smoker. Take it from me folks. It sneaks up on you. Congrats on sticking with your quits. I will be 100% quit once again. I'm not giving up.

[nsd_user663_1695]

There are worse things to do, like never quitting in the first place! Hope you ripped the filter off them before they went into the trash (less temptation).

I don't think you will have any problem getting back on the right track, you seem very committed, glad to see your slip up did not turn into a "to hell with it attitude", it's very hard not to succumb to that type of attitude after a slip up like you had. Good job, keeping the right attitude!

[nsd_user663_1655]

I don't get it, fine today, no cravings

So, after yesterdays' insanity, i've not smoked anything today. No cravings either. Luckily i didn't get that recharge to go through the three days of hell again. I've got to watch myself. It is so easy for me to go nuts and jump off the horse.

Vike... still fighting the good fight

[nsd_user663_1629]

the only difference between us Vike is that you have done what all of us have wanted to do at one stage or another (in fact I have smoked two whole fags since I quit on 21 Jan) so don't worry too much, just get that brain into positive and happy thinking again and start again.

Go for it.

I am almost at my 3-month hurdle, I simply cannot believe it and I am still having bad days I hate to say, I hope that after six months it will be better!