Checkup nerves

[Shar0n]

I find that I get nervous in the weeks leading up to my checkups even when I don't have any cause for concern. Anyone else experience this and if so how do you deal with it ?

[R16728]

I'm with you on the worry, but over the years I've learned to trust my body's messages. If I feel good and have no symptoms, I don't expect concerns with my blood work. I find when I'm over tired or fatigued, I have trouble not thinking the NHL might be acting up. The late afternoons are worst and usually by the next morning I'm full of energy and the whole thing starts again. Mostly my issues are "getting old"!

[Robin-Newman in reply to R16728]

I am in your boat. You just described me to a T....I crash in the late afternoon. Next day full of energy.

[laylalulu in reply to R16728]

I find the same too, I almost need that afternoon nap now not sure if it's the disease or getting older lol

[Judyhoneycomb in reply to R16728]

I am the same way. Very anxious when infusions are close, tired around 4 pm and have more energy in mornings.

[Josie2rulrs]

me too.....

and im always checking my neck which is where I had my lump .....and it was removed.

[Judyhoneycomb]

yes I do too. Don't have any suggestions on how to deal with it. I just pray a lot...that all will be well....

[Robin-Newman]

Yes I totally understand your nervousness... what I do , I except it...... it's natural..

It will be that way for the rest of our lives. Once diagnosed with any type of cancer we are never alone again....it follows us like our shadow. I'm seven years out... looking back I can't believe I was ever diagnosed with it. But I was and it's there lurking in the shadows.

And that's ok hopefully it will stay there for years to come. I've done a lot of living since and grateful for the past 7 years.

[deestb]

The replies are exactly what I experience.. I too have anxiety which comes and goes.. Morning routines really help...keeping "busy" and have things to look forward to are importnnt. I would like to get a "How are you doing?" call from my oncos office in between lab work....It's been over 3 years..of Watch and Wait" with lab work every 3 months...Was run down for 4 months and was thinking it was the cancer ..Sometimes in the afternoon I am fatigued .....All your comments help me realize we aren't alone...I am getting a second opinion in May...and my current onco is very receptive to that ...he is a team player..and am very grateful.. . this site helps keep us afloat!!!

[Judyhoneycomb in reply to deestb]

Good luck

[Smileyman]

Indeed, although I consider myself to be a level headed person and tell myself "all will be fine - these are just stepping stones on a pathway" my body language and patience in the few days or hours prior tell a much different story. When I analyse why, the conclusion I reach is that there is too much time to think, ponder, consider often leading to unhelpful 'what if' situations. Would less knowledge be helpful? No because with knowledge comes the power to plan and cope. So, what will help. Good communication from hospital would be useful, perhaps a factsheet about what to expect, but ultimately it is human nature, like a child gets excited on Christmas Eve when they see their presents under the tree ..... and can't wait to open them.

Note, my first watch & wait review appointment is next week; today I received a text message from hospital, I called to find out what to expect ..now have 7 days of Christmas eve to work through. I hope and expect for the best; it's what I don't know and can't find out beforehand that worries me.

[Shar0n Volunteer in reply to Smileyman]

You have all reflected exactly how I feel. I'm six weeks out from my next appointment and already feeling slight stirrings of anxiety despite having no new symptoms. I keep up with my exercise routine and may increase that a little as it certainly helps.

Thanks to everyone for your valuable input as it shows that our reactions are perfectly normal and not unique.

[jmcobb50]

I feel fortunate that I am Watch & Wait but do feel anxious as my oncology appt is due! Thank goodness I get my blood work the same day and results of my CT scan the same day as well.

[Elseas]

Interesting thread. When I first started treatment I was going once a week, then once every 4 weeks. Didn't have time to worry since I was getting blood work and seeing the doctor so often. About 6 months ago, that changed to only going once every 8 weeks. And that difference in length of time has started me worrying a little. I start a running checklist of every little thing I've felt in that time, is it nothing or could it be something? So by the time I get there, I'm a bit stressed. Tomorrow is my normal 8 week appt, will get the results of last week's CT scan which I was able to review online (looks like no changes). Logically, there should be nothing to worry about, but as one person said, going through something like this leaves you with a "shadow" following you. And in my case, looks like I'll continue the Rituxan infusions indefinitely. So that shadow starts to loom large tonight! However, I do think these feelings are normal, to me, it's just part of my new normal.

[BelindaTupper]

Anxiety follows me too. In the days following each treatment the hospital sends me the next appointment for 3 months down the road.Gosh I wish they'd wait a while. I hate getting those appointments letters.

[Shar0n Volunteer in reply to BelindaTupper]

Glad it's not just me - I go back to the oncologist next week and even though I've seen my blood test results in advance and they look ok, there's always that feeling that something will have changed at the examination.

I suppose we are all in a situation of having to learn to live with uncertainty and yet knowing how much worse it could have been and is for many people with a cancer diagnosis.