Any takers?

Hi, I am a 36 year old man who had a double kidney transplant in june 2012, before the op I was single and not really interested in looking for a partner, since I had the op I have been looking for someone to share my life with, with no success, as when I say I had a transplant people are not interested! I have been through a lot as I am sure many on here have, I would love to meet people who have had the same sort of experiences as me and are maybe looking for someone to share the good and the bad with, if there are any ladies out there who would like to know more please reply to this post. I know this is not the best use of this site but there seems to be no site that caters for people who are slightly "different"! If you are a ladie looking for a partner then maybe you know how hard this can be for people like us. Thank you for taking the time to read this and hope to get some responses, surely the one I'm looking for is out there somewhere?

14 Replies

  • Hi Kowboy, and thank you for using the NKF Transplant Community message board. Your questions is certainly a first and very unusual in that it is about Transplantation, yet not - if you understand my point.

    As a one off I am happy to see it here, but if there becomes any sort of trend to turn this board into a dating agancy rather than a board addressing medical Transplant issues - then I am afriad we would have to draw such exchanges to an end.

    All the best and Happy New Year Tim Statham NKF CEO

  • I wanted to say when I had my kidney transplant 11years ago, my marriage was already over and with 2kids, I was on my own and was for almost 10years, until I met Martin at work of all places. I am fully aware of how you feel and how people are with you, but be assured if its ment to be you will find someone, dont let having a transplant let you or your potential new partner put off a good relationship, we deserve what everyone else us, good luck and keep us posted how you go xx

  • hey richardgere, thank you for the reply, thats a lovely story, im so happy for you both, i know it can be hard meeting someone, and i dont see why because it doesnt make us any different (apart from apreciating life and what we have more), would just like to say that since my original post i have met a lovely girl in my area who sufferes from systic fibrosis, she too has to have loads of hospital appiontments and we talk for hours about our trips to the hospital and we support each other and have a good laugh, so it seems it may be the start of something great, we have a lot in commen too. its amazing because i was begining to think i would never meet anyone and then along she came, thank you for your words of support though and good luck to you and Martin for the future. X

  • I think you are looking to hard relax man and it will come when you dont exspect it. Im waiting to have a kidney transplant because i feel so ill all the time im kinda looking forward to having it but some of the storys on here are scareing me do you have any good sound advice on pre op and post

  • hey there, well I dont really know where to start, firstly when you get called in for a transplant (it will probably be early hours) try not to worry too much, it can be a scary time as you dont know whats going on and all you know is that you are about to have major surgery, I can tell you that you really should not worry, the team looking after you will do all they can to make you feel comfortable, and dont be scared to ask loads of questions when you meet the surgoen, they really dont mind. As for after the op, for a little while after you may, no will feel like c**p! You may find yourself asking "was it worth it, I wish I never had it done", I felt like this for a couple of months, but when you start to recover (which can take a while) you will see it was all worth it, if you are on dialysis before the op it will feel really good to not have to go anymore (or do it every day if you are on home dialysis), one of the things I found hardest to get used to was not being on a fluid restriction any more, I went from being told not to drink any more than a litre to being told make sure you drink at least two litres a day, more if you can! Also as I was on hemo dialysis I stopped going to the toilet, I had not been for three years then all of a sudden I was going again, for the first month you go mostly at night, which is a bit of a pain but this will settle in the end, also where I had not been for so long the bladder became weak and when I got the urge to go I had to get to a toilet a bit sharpish! The best way to combat this and strengthen the bladder is to stop start, ie start to go then stop, then start again then stop, do this a few times when you go and it will strengthen the bladder. Eating was a bit hard too after the transplant as I had terrible heart burn, it was so bad I couldnt even eat, not even yogurt, I thought it would never go away and I got a bit upset as I thought I would never be able to eat properly again, but it did eventualy go away, I think the main thing to remember is that no matter how bad the after surgery symptoms are the overal effect is well worth it, it will give you a better quality of life, just try not to get too upset and if you have any concerns just call a nurse and talk to them, even if you have to call them 20 times in a day, its what they are paid to do and they will not mind at all, I dont know where you are having yours done but I had mine done at the Churchill hospital in Oxford, the staff where lovely, but I'm sure wherever you have it done the staff will be helpfull and kind, the main thing is do not worry, you will be well looked after, its only a small minority who have any serious problems when you think of the amount of transplants they do. But as I keep saying, try not to worry both before and after the transplant, remember your blood pressure! Good luck and hope you get called soon, if you want to ask anything else just ask away! X

  • Im having at guys in london im terrified ive only just got over a needle phobia. I have deteriated slowly and wished i got more info when i first got diagnosed eight year ago but i so want the op i really want to feel better i also have developed diabetes type 2 and suffer with asthma as time as go my skin feels so tight and like its bruised did you have this

  • I dont like not knowing how im gonna be when i wake up in the morning. I have two children and some days i feel so rough that i cannot deal with the most simplist of things. Ive been attending kings college hospital the staff there are brilliant. I feel that im in good hands. Did your kidney come from someone you know? My brother got tested last friday he is just as bad as me with the needle thing but is so sure his going to give me a kidney. I hope so. Im worried about the catheter it sounds sore

  • Hi, I have heard that Guys is a really good hospital, they have a great team there apparently, I know its not what you want to hear but there will be a lot of needles before and after the transplant, not meaning to scare you but just want you to be prepared. I dont know about the cathater in a lady but I know when mine came out it was very painfull, this was mostly due to the fact they used the wrong size tube, it was so painful the nurse refused to remove it and had to call the doctor! I've had two more since then that where not that painfull as they used the right size tube. My kidney was a non living doner, they tell you the sex and age of the doner but nothing more, they do give you a chance to write to the doners family and thank them for the donated organ, I did this as it helped a lot to get me over the feeling of guilt that someone had to die in order for me to live, this guilt only lasts a little while though as I relised that this person would of died anyway and this way his death was not a total loss. Yes I did feel really bad for about two years before the op, I was in bed all the time, some days I just couldnt wake up, it was hard on my daughter as she was affriad I was going to die, she was only 13 but I tried to keep her informed of all that was going on and involved her in my treatment, when I was home dialysing she used to help me get the stuff ready, it made her feel like she was helping and made her feel better to know what was happening. I agree the hospitals do not give you enough information when you are first diagnosed. I have been diabetic since I was 13, this is what caused my kidney to fail in the first place, as I was having compications with my diabetes, ie not knowing when my blood sugars where low, they gave me a double transplant, kidney and pancreas. One thing I will say is remember after the transplant to always put on forms that you have renal failure, I made the misstake of saying that as I had had a transplant I was no longer diabetic and did not have renal failure untill my cosultant said yes you do have diabetes and renal failure, the transplant is a treatment not a cure! I lost out on benefit due to not knowing this. However putting aside all of the complications I do recomend a transplant as it does improove your quality of life. I hope your brother prooves to be a match and it all goes well for you both.

  • I appreciate your response ive got loads of questions but i dont know wot to ask first

  • ask what you like, I will try to answer them for you! I know how you feel, I had loads of questions too and didnt know who to ask, the staff at my renal clinic where very helpfull but really I wanted to talk to someone who had been through it.

  • You had type 1 diabetes? Hence the pancreas are you still using insulin ?

  • Have you only had one kidney transplant if so how long ago? Ive heard so many people mention they are on there second or third. After the op do you feel like normal again or is it still a life of hospital visits and meds

  • I get alot of confusion and carnt remember things i shake alot and the stomach cramps are so bad. I could sleep all day but find it s hard to sleep well at night my bones hurt my muscles ache i get breathless and feel like i have constant flu does this go away after op.i keep thinking my breath smells but i think its only when i wake up well i hope so lol it all gets to much . I get to the stage where im sooooo exhausted i sit and moan to myself

  • I am sorry but this did make me laugh, your ideal is out there when you least expect to find them, I was on my own then met Martin at work, we became very good friends now we live happy ever after, so dont give up, someone is out there, good luck xx

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