Feeling Guilty

I have had stage 4 kidney disease for six years and am now on the transplant list, I was in a full time job to start with but as my function has decreased ive cut down to 20 hours a week, it's meant that my husband has had to pay for rent and most other things and works full time and we don't earn enough to get a mortgage, I feel so guilty about this as i'm not a lazy person and don't like to sponge off other people for things, it's awful to think he has had to go without life experiences because of me, I wondered if anyone else was struggling with guilty feelings is it normal?

4 Replies

  • For better or for worse in sickness and in health, they are the vows. No need to feel guilty as I am sure you would do the same thing for him.

  • Look on the brightside... You have each other. It's a tough time to be thinking of mortgages anyway and not a situation that's great to be in as a newbie to the market. Look at it this way - at least you hadn't just signed up for one and then had to cut your hours.

    My husband is now on home haemo dialysis and this does limit us but we make the best of the free time we do get and I wouldn't change it for the world

  • It's tough, I've been there and know how you feel. The main thing is - you're alive, and they are going to make damn sure you stay that way, and remember, when you get that transplant you'll feel a whole lot better. I was self employed and had to give up up work altogether and go onto benefits. You just have to tough it out. Hope these few words help. Good luck and please always look on the bright side........

  • I am so sorry to hear you feel guilty for losing the function of your kidneys to the extent you can only work now for 20 hours. Don't damage your mental as well as physical health wasting precious energy on feeling guilty. Is there any possibility your husband might be able to donate one of his kidneys to you, or do you have any family who might donate a kidney? You may well receive a cadaver kidney within the next 3 years or so and, as previously said, your life will turn around for the better.

    All together now


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