I'm 47 and I've known since I was 23 that I have inherited poly cystic kidney disease. Roughly 5 years ago I found that it has affected my liver as well. I was told recently that I would need a liver and kidney . I'm stage 5 , gfr 10 and meld score is 20. I am scheduled for my first dialysis appointment on Monday. I am really emotional with this situation . I'm trying to get on the transplant list. I have one test that they have requested to be done with full contrast ( which is the reason I need to start dialysis ) . I do feel all alone. My family doesn't know my emotions that I try to hold back from them. I don't think they completely understand the emptiness that I feel. I try to let it out a little without sounding like I'm complaining . I'm tired, I'm dizzy, I'm going to get sick, I don't want to do this, I'm scared, no one knows what it's like. They say I know but I don't know what to do for you. Well , listening to me and letting me vent would help a lot. I just feel like they don't really know . They don't want to discuss it.